


Plaything

by disturbedbydesign



Category: American Actor RPF, Marvel Avengers Movies RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blindfolds, Dom/sub Play, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Face Slapping, Femdom, Light Bondage, Multi, Obedience, Spanking, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-08 01:30:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 53,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/755408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disturbedbydesign/pseuds/disturbedbydesign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU non-actor JFR/OFC chapter fic. A broke, 25-year-old Jeremy meets Nic, a wealthy woman ten years his senior. Scorned by her husband, Nic is on the prowl for an eager young stud to play around with and Jeremy seems, at first, to be the perfect willing victim. Note that this is set in the present day, but the character is based on young Jeremy, not the grown ass man we all know and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [badcircuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/badcircuit/gifts).



Nic wound her way down the grand staircase, heels clicking on the cold marble as she made her way to the atrium. She stood for a while on the last step, watching Marisol clear away the remnants of the party the night before, and found herself gripping the iron of the ornately wrought railing as she replayed the evening over in her mind. It had been her anniversary party, and ostensibly she’d been celebrating seven years of marriage to Jeremy. Nic had been born a gifted liar, and she’d spent the past five of those seven years almost effortlessly pretending that she was satisfied with her picture-perfect life. From the outside looking in, the guests would have had no idea. They would have arrived at their sprawling, gated estate in Bel Air, taken in the grandeur of the property after being handed a flute of Dom Perignon by a tuxedoed attendant, and eventually made their way over to the impeccably dressed, smiling couple to congratulate them, never knowing how ugly things could get in this beautiful place when Nic and Jeremy were alone. They would never have guessed that most of Nic’s nights – those few when Jeremy was actually at home – ended in screaming matches and tears, or that they slept in separate bedrooms, or that Nic couldn’t remember the last time her husband had fucked her. They would only have seen a powerful man and his stunning young trophy wife, their beautiful home with wealth on display at every turn. Most would have envied their life, but not if they knew the truth. If they had known, only a few would pity her. The rest would take pleasure in it for one reason or another, for Nic was the type of woman that women wanted to hate and men hated to want.

Nicole Bradford was the second Mrs. Jeremy Levine, though she’d kept her family name when they’d married for financial reasons – she came from her own money and she had a hotel empire with her family’s name on it, and her father would have been furious if she’d shed the Bradford name for a man almost twice her age. She should have known from the start that Jeremy was a certain type of man: a man who was never satisfied; a man who always wanted the best, the most expensive, the newest thing he could get his hands on. That had been Nic once, but not anymore. Jeremy was a power player in Hollywood and whatever he wanted, he got. He didn’t want her anymore, and he’d made that abundantly clear when he’d invited Rebecca to the party. Nic knew they were fucking, that they’d been fucking for a while, and that Rebecca was on deck to become the third Mrs. Levine. She had resigned herself to it, and it was almost OK with her. She didn’t love Jeremy anymore either and she hadn’t for a long time. But inviting his 20-something-year-old mistress to their anniversary party was more than Nic could stomach.

“You remember Becky,” he’d said – so casual, so nonchalant.

_Becky._ It made her sick. It was a slap in the face, a “fuck you” that Nic wasn’t about to let go. She had never once cheated – not when Marisol had brought up a stranger’s panties mixed in with her laundry, not when Jeremy started taking long “business trips” that for some inexplicable reason required Rebecca’s presence, not even when she’d caught them together in his office, standing a little too close and looking a little too flushed. Nic herself had refused to even kiss Jeremy before his divorce from the first Mrs. Levine was close to finalized. But things were different now. Jeremy had changed the rules, and it was long past time Nic did something for herself instead of just laying back and taking it.

She’d planned on heading to the club for lunch and a match or two of tennis, and she would have made it, too, but as she was driving down Sepulveda she got stuck in horrendous traffic. If the road had been clear she might never have seen him. He would have just been a blur by the side of the road and she would have gone about her day and her life, never knowing he existed. But as she inched along in her cherry red Aston Martin she couldn’t help but notice the truck with its hazards on – old and rusted and beat up as all hell. Her eyes quickly moved to him, though. The perfect curve of his ass as he bent over under the hood of the pickup was hypnotizing. She couldn’t see his face but she didn’t have to. A glimpse of his bare arms at work trying to fix whatever had gone wrong, the tiny sliver of skin poking out between his dirty tank top and his low-slung jeans and Nic completely lost her mind. Before she knew what she was doing she had pulled over behind his truck and gotten out of the car.

He looked up when he heard her car door shut and Nic got her first unobstructed look at him. He was clearly much younger than her thirty-five years, with a baby face and a young man’s build, muscular but lithe, like his body was just starting to grow into itself. But the way he smiled at her and gave her a quick and dirty head-to-toe glance aged him a bit. Not that she cared how old he was, barring anything that could be considered statutory. As she got closer his features began to sharpen – sparkling eyes of indeterminate color, long eyelashes, pouty lips, and hair just a bit too long and a bit too blonde. She smiled back at him and he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of an oil-stained work glove. The veins in his arms were screaming at her to come closer and she was powerless to resist this pretty young thing she’d found. She decided she’d rescue him, like a lost puppy – a good deed to make herself feel better about what would come after.

“You need some roadside assistance?” she asked. “It’s hot as hell out today.”

He looked at her like she was nuts, and she was, but he was young and hot and she didn’t give a fuck about anything anymore.

“Truck overheated,” he said.

His voice did something to her she couldn’t explain and he took her in again: her heels wobbling on the uneven ground, her expensive clothes, the diamond rock on her left hand near-blinding in the sunlight, and her luxury sports car in the background. His eyes were asking a million questions but he stood stock-still and let his gaze travel back to the convertible for a moment before he spoke again.

“I’ll be OK,” he said. “I can fix it. I’m pretty handy.”

“Well hello, pretty handy,” she replied. “I’m Nicole.”

He flashed her a half smile that turned quickly to a laugh near as rusty as the bumper of his truck. Something about it turned Nic’s smirk into a full-fledged smile. It was short-lived, though, as he told her his name.

“I’m Jeremy,” he said, and her stomach turned. That name just wouldn’t do, not for her purposes.

“What’s your last name?” she asked, and he answered.

“I’m going to call you Renny,” she said, “and you’re going to call me Nic. Has anyone ever called you Renny, Renny?”

“Ummm, no,” he replied, and he scratched his head.

Nic noticed his roots were darker than they should have been and she smiled. Between the hair and the leather cuff he wore, he had a punk rock vibe going on that she should have hated. She didn’t, though, and she found herself wondering what those roots would look like down between her legs. She had to laugh at her perverted mind and he looked more than a bit confused, but it was a good look on him. Nic was enjoying the way he squirmed under her unrelenting gaze. Her eyes were a cold shade of blue, she knew, and she had a way of looking at men that could terrify them and arouse them at the same time. It was a talent she hadn’t had the chance to use in quite some time and she was enjoying every second of it.

“Good,” she said, and she motioned to her car. “Get in, Renny. I’ll give you a ride and we’ll call a tow truck from my place.”

He shuffled his feet in the dust like he didn’t know what to do with himself, and he really didn’t except to look from her back to the car and to her again. Nic could tell he wasn’t used to aggressive women, that perhaps she scared him a bit, and she liked it.

“Come on,” she said. “I see the way you’re looking at my car. You can’t tell me you don’t want to go for a ride.”

“Is that a Volante?” he asked. His confusion was replaced with a sense of awe and a little bit of lust. She just smiled.

“Car enthusiast, are you?” she asked, and he nodded and licked his lips involuntarily. He looked at the car like, if it was a woman, he’d fuck it right there by the side of the road. She wanted him to look at her like that.

“One favor for another, handy man,” she said. “I‘ll give you a ride and get you a tow, you come fix something at my place. Tit for tat.”

She hoped he would look at her breasts just then. He didn’t disappoint.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt,” he replied. He didn’t know how wrong he was. “What needs fixing?”

Nic had always thought fast on her feet and this time was no different.

“You know anything about sprinklers?”

“A little,” he said. She could tell he was lying but that he would give it his all. She hoped that applied to other things. “Let me grab my toolbox.”

Nic smiled and walked back to her car. She popped the trunk and got in the driver’s seat, shooting a quick text full of bullshit excuses to her doubles partner. She waited for Renny to join her, pushing away every single thought running through her head, all of which were telling her how wrong this was. She didn’t care, though. Doing the right thing had brought her only pain and regret, and wrong was starting to feel very, very right. When he settled into the passenger seat he flashed her a perfect smile and thanked her. He was hesitant, she knew, but he was warming to her, cold and calculating though she was. Maybe it was the low cut of her shirt or the perfect tone of her bare legs; maybe it was her classic beauty or her voice, somehow both husky and smooth. She could tell he was young and eager and needed to be schooled in the ways of women, but there was something else there. For a second she saw a devilish glint in his eye that was gone as fast as it had come, and Nic thought maybe he knew what she was all about. Maybe deep down he wanted to be bossed around and used up and tossed away like trash. But then the angel face was back and he was looking around the car like a kid in a candy store and she thought to herself that he was barely more than a boy and too trusting to know any better. He hadn’t been hurt yet. Maybe he hadn’t even loved yet. Either way, he needed to be taught a few things, and once Nic put the key in the ignition there was no turning back for either of them.

It was only a short drive back to Nic’s house but she drilled him with questions. She thought it best to get the basics out of the way, but also she found herself genuinely curious about this young stud she found lounging in her passenger seat.

“Tell me about yourself, Renny.”

“What do you wanna know?” he asked.

She took her eyes from the road for a moment and looked at him, sitting with his legs splayed and one tanned arm hanging over the side of the car. His hair was flapping wild in the wind and he had a crooked smile on his face.

“Everything,” she said, and he laughed.

“OK, then.”

He was 25, a drummer in some garage band nobody had ever heard of or cared about, and he had come to L.A. by way of Modesto. He was couch surfing in the Valley, the most current couch belonging to his bass player in Reseda. He liked cars, he liked music, he liked fixing things.

“I’ve always been good with my hands,” he said, and she looked at them for a moment.

He’d been wearing gloves earlier and she’d been trying to concentrate on navigating the winding roads of Bel Air but she couldn’t help but notice his hands now. They were so exquisitely strange – larger than they should have been, with long, knobby fingers that should have been ugly. They weren’t though; they were special, in the way that an old, gnarled tree is the most beautiful thing in the forest. She started having impure thoughts about those fingers and the things she could make them do, and she turned her eyes back to the road after a beat too long.

“I certainly hope so,” she said, and they drove the rest of the way in silence, each thinking thoughts about the other that they shouldn’t have been thinking, wondering if what they thought was about to happen would happen, wondering what that would mean.

Renny’s eyes went wide as they drove through the gates and up the long driveway to the carport. He got out of the car without a word and just stared at the house like he’d never seen anything like it, and it occurred to Nic that he probably hadn’t. She watched him for a moment as he took in his surroundings before walking over to him and placing her finger on his chin. She felt the bit of scruff there as she shut his mouth for him.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll catch flies,” she said, letting her hand linger there and moving her face dangerously close to his. “Follow me.”

She dropped her hand to her side and walked away from him towards the front door. She could feel his eyes follow the sway of her hips as she went and hear the stutter steps he was taking to catch up to her. She entered the arched doorway and he followed, wordless and waiting for her to tell him where to go. He was so very obedient, she noticed. That would serve them both well.

“You must be thirsty,” she said. “You were sweating buckets out there.”

She led him to the kitchen, where Marisol was wiping down the countertops.

“Marisol, this is Renny. He’s here to fix the sprinklers. Bring a pitcher of ice water and two glasses out back and then you’re done for the day, alright?”

Marisol took one look at Renny and nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Levine.”

“Ms. Bradford, Marisol,” Nic said. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Sorry, sorry,” she said. “I get confused.”

“It’s alright,” Nic said, not bothering to mask her irritation. Just hearing his name made her want to put her fist through a wall. “Just bring the water down and then you can go.”

“Yes, Ms. Bradford. Right away.”

She showed Renny out to the back veranda, where beyond the infinity pool and the green hills the city was spread out in the distance. On days when the smog wasn’t heavy, you could almost make out the ocean, but that was a rarity. Still, the view had always pleased Nic, calmed her even when everything else was chaos and madness. She looked at him and his mouth was open again. She fought the urge to shut it with her own. Nic was happy Marisol showed up with the water when she did otherwise she might have completely blown her whole plan before she’d even started.

“Thank you, Marisol,” she said, and before she even knew what she was saying she followed it up with, “take the rest of the week off, paid of course. We’re very grateful for all of your help with the party. I’ll see you next Monday.”

Marisol thanked her profusely and took her leave and that was that. Nic had the house all to herself for seven days and six nights. No distractions, no interruptions. Whatever she wanted to do, wherever she wanted to do it – and all of it hers to choose. She felt so alive she could have screamed. Instead she calmly turned to Renny and smiled, handing him a glass of water.

“Drink up,” she said. “You’ve got work to do.”

He took the entire glass down in a few gulps. An errant trail of water spilled out of the side of his mouth as he drank and trickled down his neck, and she watched as it washed a patch of clean skin through the dirt and grime that covered him. He was absolutely filthy and it should have bothered her but it didn’t. She wanted to taste the sweat and the dirt that covered him. If she could have, she would have licked him clean. He let out a satisfied sound as he finished the water and wiped his mouth.

“So what’s the problem with the sprinkler system?” he asked.

He was suddenly very serious, his brow furrowed in complete concentration. He looked older then, more of a man than a boy. She liked him both ways, but this was an unexpected surprise. She almost felt bad for what she was about to do. Almost.

“There’s this one head that doesn’t come up with the rest,” she said. “Here let me show you.”

She led him to the closest sprinkler head and he got down on his knees to look. He pushed the grass aside, poking and prodding at the bit he could see.

“Doesn’t look like it’s stuck on anything,” he said. “Electrical problem, maybe?”

“The rest of them work just fine, though,” she said. “Here, let me go turn it on and you tell me what it does. If it, I don’t know, makes a weird sound or something. This isn’t really my sort of thing.”

“Don’t you have a service for this?” he asked. She could tell he was growing suspicious but it didn’t stop her from carrying on. He wasn’t getting up, though. If he knew, he was playing along.

“I called them last week but they never came,” she said. “Just give it a look, OK? I’ll be right back.”

Nic trotted off in the direction of the sprinkler controls around the side of the house with a shit-eating grin on her face. It was cruel but she couldn’t help herself. She flipped the switch and the sprinklers all sprung into action, and from the yard beyond she could hear him yell out as the water drenched him. She held in her laughter as she turned the system off again and took a minute to compose herself before rounding the corner. She was all set to play dumb but the sight of him with his white tank soaked straight through, his torso almost completely visible through the fabric, and his jeans clinging to every part she wanted to get a better look at made her look of shock genuine.

“Oh my God I am so sorry!” she said. She wasn’t sorry. Not even a little bit. “They must have come to fix it already.”

He was staring her down but when she got closer to him his face broke into a smile.

“You did that on purpose,” he said, and he shook his hair out like a dog fresh from a bath.

“I most certainly did not,” she replied. “That would be childish.” She kept her face cool, only just managing to keep the smile off her face. He shook his head and chuckled and she knew she needed him badly, and soon.

“If you say so,” he said. “You wanna help me out here?”

“Yes, of course. Let me wash your clothes for you. Come inside.”

He left his boots at the door and followed her to the laundry room. He stood there, waiting for the towel that never came.

“Well,” she said, “what are you waiting for? Give me your clothes.”

He looked at her for a beat, then around him, as if willing a towel to appear out of nowhere.

“You got something for me to put on?”

“Of course,” she said. “I can’t have you walking around the house naked.”

She would have him naked soon enough, but first a bit of fun. She went to the pool closet and brought out a hot pink beach robe.

“Here,” she said, and tossed it to him. He looked at it and then back to her, and she kept her face straight as she stared him down. “What?”

“It’s…”

“It’s what?”

“Nothing,” he said, and he started to strip.

Nic watched him without shame as he peeled his tank top off and what had been just the outline of his torso became full flesh in front of her. He had a raggedy patch of chest hair and a trail that ran from his belly down below. She didn’t get to see where it ended, though. He put the robe on over his boxers and shimmied out of them before she got a peek. She grabbed his clothes and threw them in the washing machine, and when it was running she turned to look at him. He was grinning at her like he was keeping a secret, and for all she knew he was. Standing there, barefoot and naked in her bright pink robe, he should have looked ridiculous. She’d wanted him to look ridiculous, to feel ridiculous, but he didn’t. He seemed comfortable. He looked good – sexy, even – and it seemed like he knew it. Maybe her face had betrayed her when he’d revealed most of himself to her. Maybe it had betrayed her the moment she first saw him. Either way, she didn’t have the upper hand just yet, and it was pissing her off something fierce.

“Why don’t you go out back?” she said. “I need to change. I could use some sun.”

If there was one thing Nic had that she knew could put her firmly in charge of the situation, it was her little red bikini. She bolted up to her dressing room and snatched it from the drawer, stripping naked and throwing it on as quickly as she could. It was a tiny thing, held together by delicate strings, and it left little to the imagination, which was good because she wanted his mind squarely fixed on what he might find underneath. She gave herself a quick check in the mirror, stopping to admire the curve of her breasts. In a town made of plastic, hers were all natural. This had always been a point of pride for Nic and she brought her hands up and gave them a squeeze, feeling their weight in her own hands, replacing her small hands with his large ones in her mind. She knew she looked good; she always looked good – it was part of the role she had to play day in and day out – but between her sun-kissed skin, her long blonde hair, and her body gone unused for so long, she knew he wouldn’t be able to resist her. She didn’t allow herself to think about the possibility that he would. It would be a blow she just couldn’t take.

She slathered herself in coconut tanning oil and padded down the stairs, barefoot and glistening. Sunglasses on, she came out onto the veranda to join him. The look on his face when he turned to her said everything she needed to know.

“I feel overdressed,” he said as she pulled a lounge chair out into the sunlight.

“Feel free to disrobe,” she replied. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he said, and he winked.

He was a cocky little shit, and despite Nic’s thirst for dominance she couldn’t help but like it. She’d let him think he was the stud he seemed to think he was, just this once. He’d learn his place soon enough.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the afternoon sunshine, before he spoke.

“So, you know a lot about me and I know nothing about you.”

“I don’t see the problem,” she replied. She wasn’t about to tell him anything he didn’t need to know, and the way she saw it there was very little that fell into that category. He was persistent, though.

“I see you’re married,” he said, and he motioned to her left hand.

Nic felt the rage start to rise up at the thought of it. She didn’t feel married anymore. She’d given up; she’d moved on, at least in her own mind. Jeremy had moved on long ago. She gritted her teeth and answered him.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern,” she replied, cold as ice.

“Oh,” he said. “I think it is. I don’t fuck married women.”

Nic sat up and pushed her sunglasses to her forehead. She looked him straight in the eye with no shred of emotion. He was bold, this one, and perhaps he wasn’t the obedient young thing she was looking for. She decided then that she would break him. It was a challenge now, and he’d started it.

“So you think you can fuck me, do you?”

“I know I can fuck you,” he replied. The little shit was smirking. Nic wanted to slap that smirk straight off his pretty face. “But I won’t. Not if you’re married.”

Nic closed her eyes, trying to decide whether to tell him the truth or a lie. Lies came natural; the truth was more difficult. The truth meant vulnerability. The truth meant that she wasn’t playing a part anymore. But she wanted him, no denying it. He was just sitting there, completely at ease though he should have been uncomfortable. He was naked as the day he was born, at the home of a woman he’d only just met, wearing her robe with no way home but for her mercy, but it didn’t seem to bother him. And Nic was so very close to having him where she wanted him. She decided it was a necessary evil – a bit of honesty to earn his trust. She sighed deeply and began.

“What if I told you my husband is a liar and a cheater? What if I told you I haven’t been fucked in over a year? What if I told you that last night was our anniversary and he brought his whore into my home? What if I told you that he’s with her right now in Santa Barbara? If I told you those things, would it matter to you?”

She wasn’t prepared for the way he looked at her then. She saw it in his eyes – pity, sadness. He saw straight through her and it made her sick.

“Don’t look at me like that, Renny. I don’t need your pity and I don’t want it.”

“Tell me what you want, then,” he said, and there it was – the look she’d been waiting for, the look that said he would do anything and everything she told him to do.

“I want to dry your clothes,” she replied, and she got up and walked into the house. She knew without asking he would follow.

She took his wet clothes from the washing machine and placed them in the dryer, and though she heard him come up behind her she didn’t turn around – not when he pushed her hair aside and brushed his lips against the back of her neck, not when he brought a hand to her waist and grazed the top of her bikini bottom with the pads of his fingertips, not even when he nibbled her ear, flicked the hot tip of his tongue against it and whispered, “Tell me what you want, Nic.” Her eyes rolled back in her head when her name passed his lips and her whole body was thrumming but she didn’t turn around. She could only place her palms flat on the dryer top as it began its cycle. Nic found herself speechless – unable to tell him what she wanted from him, though she knew exactly what it was. Soon enough she felt it pressed against the small of her back through the terrycloth and she bit her lip. She couldn’t let him see her this way. Her body was screaming at her but she hardened her face before she spun around to face him.

“Lose the robe,” she said. “Pink’s not your color.”

He slowly undid the knot at his waist and let the robe fall to the floor, giving her a look at what she’d felt. It was impressive but she couldn’t let him know that, so she just cocked her head to the side and glanced at it briefly before looking back up to him and down again.

“That’ll do,” she said.

Her voice was cold but the heat between her legs was growing. He smiled.

“Glad you like it.”

“I didn’t say that. Let’s see what you can do with it first. Undress me.”

It didn’t take long – just a few quick tugs on the strings at her hips and her back and she was naked before him. He licked his lips at the sight of her and cursed under his breath.

“Glad you like it,” she said, mocking him.

“I do,” he said. “I really, really do.”

He grabbed her then, one arm wrapped around her back and the other at her neck and he kissed her hard and hungry. She fought with him for control, with lips and tongues this time instead of words, and she won. Nic’s hands found his hair and pulled, bringing him even closer, and she felt him hard and throbbing against her stomach. She knew she needed him, though she didn’t want to. She pulled out of the kiss but before she could speak he had her breasts in his hands and his tongue darting from nipple to nipple and she let her head fall back, trying and failing to suppress a moan. He dragged his tongue from her collarbone to her ear and whispered, “You taste like coconut.”

She smiled, though he couldn’t see it, and replied, “You taste like dirt.”

He pulled back and looked at her without letting go. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” she replied, and she brought her tongue to his neck to taste the sweat and grime that covered him. “I like you dirty.” Nic let her face get serious for a moment, to make sure he understood what she was about to ask. “But are you a dirty boy, or are you clean?”

The question was weighted and he picked up on her meaning after a beat.

“I’m clean,” he said, and that was that.

“Good,” she replied, and she wrapped her hand around his cock and started to stroke him.

She didn’t think he would lie about something like that but, if she was honest, at that moment she didn’t particularly care. There was no worry about a baby and in the back of her mind, if he was lying to her and she caught something, she would have been more than happy to give it to Jeremy as a parting gift he could spread to his little whore. Nic knew it was wrong, evil even, but she didn’t care. He deserved every bit of evil she had in her, and there was a great deal of it to dole out.

“Fuck me, Renny.”

“Here?”

“Right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

He picked her up and sat her on the dryer top before spreading her legs and testing her. She was already wet for him, had been for a while, but he worked her clit anyway. The rough pad of his thumb felt like magic, and when he dipped one finger inside her she gripped his shoulders hard, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted all of him.

“Don’t tease me, little boy,” she said. “I told you to fuck me.”

He smiled and grabbed hold of his cock by the base, rubbing his tip across her lips before pushing deep inside her. He was moving slowly – too slowly – but when he was halfway there he snapped his hips and buried himself in her. She moaned and he took her bottom lip between his teeth and nipped it before grinning at her.

“Not such a little boy now,” he said, and then he started to move.

He reached down and grabbed her calves, holding her legs up and wide as they would go as he thrust deep into her. Nic needed more, though, and she had no qualms about telling him so.

“That all you got?” she asked. A vicious smirk played at her lips as she looked up at him and he growled back at her.

“Tell me how you want it.”

“Harder, Renny. Really give it to me.”

And he did, and she would have been impressed if she could have formed a coherent thought. His cock was big and thick and he knew what to do with it, and she was tight as a virgin from years of neglect. She forced herself to bark commands at him even though he was doing her oh so right and it was already enough.

“Harder… Harder… Harder,” she cried, and to her surprise and delight, he listened.

She didn’t think he had that kind of power in him but he did. He brought her ankles to his shoulders and curled his arms around her back, gripping her shoulders with a bruising pressure as he pulled her down to meet him stroke for stroke. She felt it starting in her toes – that delightful buzz no one but herself had brought her for so long – and her commands turned into long, deep moans that told him that he was getting it right.

“You’re so fucking tight, goddammit.”

“Don’t you dare come, you sonofabitch,” she snapped, and he laughed.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You’ll get yours.”

“Give it to me, then,” she said. “Give it to me now.”

The dryer was tumbling beneath her and between the vibrations from the machine and his cock hard at work on her pussy she almost lost it. He threw her legs down and she wrapped them tight around the meaty curve of his ass as he brought his hand down to her clit, rubbing her in circles that seemed to mimic the spin of his clothes in the dryer. And then she was there, screaming and shaking and pulsing hard on his cock, and she felt like maybe she’d never come so hard in her life, though that was probably a lie. It was good though, and long, and she rode it out as he bit his lip and smiled down at her.

“There you go,” he said. “Come all over my cock.”

She let out a string of obscenities she couldn’t hold in and he laughed. It should have pissed her off but she couldn’t even think as he fucked her through her orgasm before taking his own. He grabbed her tits roughly and squeezed, rolling her nipples between his thumb and his forefinger as his hips did their duty, and with a few jagged strokes he came through gritted teeth and filled her up. She squeezed her pussy tight around him, milking every drop she could get out of him, and he fell forward and braced himself on the dryer top, sweating and panting like he’d just finished a marathon. It had been a sprint, though, truth be told, but she wanted it quick and dirty and she got what she was looking for. He tried to pull out of her but she stopped him, gripping his ass tight and digging her nails in, determined to leave her mark.

“Don’t fucking move,” she said, and she started to grind her hips against him.

Nic didn’t know what would happen afterwards but she knew she could get another one out of him before he left. And she did, though it was nowhere near as powerful as the first. He was limp inside her now but her walls gripped him just the same and he moaned with her as she came quick and hard, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking it, if a bit too gentle for her liking. She didn’t care though. When she was finished and her brain began to function again she had an idea: a test to determine whether he was the right toy for her to play with. When she finally let him pull out she sat up and hopped down off the dryer top on wobbly legs and he held her steady. She fingered his chest hair and looked up at his grinning face, squeezing her cunt muscles hard and waiting for that slippery mess to start running down her thighs. When she felt it she smiled and bit her lip before hoisting herself back up on the dryer and spreading her legs wide. It was time for him to prove himself to her for real, and her little pop quiz was a pass or fail.

“Lick me clean, Renny,” she said, her face gone cold and hard again.

He looked at her, incredulous for a moment, and she thought that was it for him, but after a moment’s pause he knelt wordlessly and placed his big hands on her thighs. He didn’t even blink, just stared up at her with those big eyes as he dragged his tongue up her inner thigh to her center, taking everything on both sides before he laved at her pussy. Once he’d started there was no hesitation. He took back everything he had given her and swallowed it down without complaint. Nic stared down at him, trying to keep the amazement off her face. He had passed, with flying colors, and when he was finished he kissed her deeply, sharing the taste of himself with her as she let his tongue explore her. He earned it. He was a good boy. He should be rewarded.

He pulled out of the kiss and lifted her down to the floor, waiting for her to speak but she didn’t. She just sauntered away buck naked and returned a few minutes later. To her dismay, he was dressed in his freshly laundered clothes but that didn’t matter, not really. She had a stack of twenties in her hand and she waved it in his face before going for his back pocket. He grabbed her wrist before she could tuck the money inside.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked.

“Consider it a payment for services rendered,” she said, and she went for his pocket again.

He was pissed now, she could tell, and she liked it because she knew ultimately she would win this battle. He was young and broke as fuck and even though she’d had his car towed for him, she knew he had no way to pay for it. It was cruel, yes, but Nic viewed it as a sort of twisted kindness, the only kind she remembered how to give.

“Just take the money,” she said. “You know you need it.”

“I’m not some fucking whore,” he said, and he turned to walk away.

“How are you going to get home?” she asked. “Call a cab? How are you gonna pay for it? How are you gonna pay for your truck? Just shut up and take the money.”

“I don’t want your money, Nic. That’s not what this was about.”

That gave Nic a pause but she ignored it because she had to.

“You may not want it,” she said. “But you need it.”

She had to stop and think for a moment, trying to work out a new angle, and it came to her so quickly it was almost laughable that she hadn’t thought of it sooner.

“I know you’re not a whore, Renny,” she said. “I’m just trying to help you. You helped me, it’s only fair.” He started to speak but she silenced him with one quick flick of her wrist. “I’ll tell you what – I’ll take you home, and I’ll let you drive the Volante, but you have to take the money.”

He was silent and she could almost hear his internal struggle, but ultimately he agreed, knowing he really didn’t have much of a choice. He gathered what few things he had and they walked out to the car in silence. When he got there and got another look at the car he smiled in spite of himself and she tossed him the keys.

“Have at her, big boy.”

He drove way too fast and way too reckless all the way to Reseda but Nic loved every minute of it – especially the way his fingers looked working the stick shift. As he took the curves at ungodly speeds she thought to herself, if I die now I can die happy, and she let him drive that car as hard as he’d driven her. He knew how to handle it; he knew what it could take and what it couldn’t, and he looked so damn good behind the wheel she didn’t give a fuck about anything but the way his arm looked gripping the wheel and the way the wind tossed around his already sexed-out hair. Every so often he would look at her and smile, and she saw the little boy again. He was no boy, though. She knew that now. Not fully a man yet but he was getting there. She would show him the way, even if she broke him in the process.

When they pulled up in front of his friend’s place he actually hollered with joy, and she honestly couldn’t tell whether he’d gotten a better high from the sex or the drive. It didn’t matter, though. A promise was a promise, and when she walked around the car to the driver’s side she pulled the wad of cash out of her purse, shoved it straight down the front of his pants, and gave him two quick pats on the crotch before giving him just the slightest hint of a smile.

“You wanna know how this is gonna go?” she asked. “Or are you done?”

“I’m not done,” he said. He didn’t even pause.

“I call you, you don’t call me.” She handed him her phone and told him to put his number in. Without asking he put himself in as Renny. “When I call you, you come. No excuses, no delays.”

“But what if-”

She cut him off. “I don’t give a shit. Make it work or we’re done.”

He said nothing, only nodded. She liked that. She liked it so much that, against her better judgment, she pulled him in for a little kiss before she got behind the wheel. He closed the door for her, like a good boy.

“I guess I’ll see you when I see you then,” he said, though it was more of a question than a statement.

“Don’t worry, Renny. I won’t keep you hanging for too long.”

He opened his mouth to speak but Nic just revved the engine and sped away, back to her picture-perfect house in the hills – the house Jeremy had tainted for her, the house she had reclaimed for her own. 


	2. Chapter 2

That night Nic did things she hadn’t done in years. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she’d had the house to herself. Jeremy was gone more often than not lately and she’d spent many a night alone. But this night was different – she felt different; she felt free. Before she would have had their chef prepare a meal for one, eaten it alone at the dining room table, and had Marisol clean up before she left for the day. But when she returned home from Reseda she called the chef and told him his services would not be needed until Jeremy’s return. She cooked herself dinner – nothing too fancy, just an easy chicken and vegetable stir-fry – but it felt nice. She used to cook all the time, before she met Jeremy and when they were first married, and she hadn’t known until that night how much she’d missed it. When she was finished eating, she did the dishes by hand and put them away, wiped down the stovetop and the kitchen counter, emptied the trash – all those little things she’d allowed others to do for her unnecessarily for so many years now. It felt satisfying, it felt liberating. It wasn’t particularly exciting or enjoyable work, but it made her feel something when for so long she’d felt nothing.

She brought up a nice bottle of wine from the cellar – something she would have reserved for guests Jeremy was trying to impress – and plucked a glass from the breakfront before heading to the back veranda and uncorking it. She sat and watched the sun set over the city with her feet up, dressed only in a tank top and boy shorts, and had it all for herself.  She savored every drop in that bottle instead of pouring just a small glass and swirling it around while Jeremy told the life story of the grapes and the vineyard, sniffing pretentiously, blathering on about tannins and notes of earth and stone fruit. Sometimes Nic just wanted to pour a glass of wine and drink it, and that’s what she did – once, twice, three, four times, until the bottle was empty and her face was flushed and she felt like dancing.

She fetched her iPod and put it on the dock, cuing up a playlist of silly pop songs that she reserved mostly for the long runs she took around Stone Canyon when she was angry or frustrated or sad. The house was wired for sound and usually there was jazz or classical playing in every room during parties or those times when Jeremy would retire to his study to lock out the sounds of her sobs and screams. But now it was Katy Perry and Maroon 5 and Rihanna and any number of other things he would have cringed to know she was blasting through their speakers. Nic couldn’t have cared less, though. She was happy and bouncing around like she was young again and it was a Friday night at the club – singing the lyrics she knew, holding up an invisible microphone as she bopped from room to room, riding the high of sex and booze and freedom. Before now, even alone, she wouldn’t have dared indulge this urge, but this night found her jumping on the couch cushions and working up a sweat until the playlist ran out and she was flushed and panting. She decided it was as good a time as any for a swim.

For such an incredibly beautiful pool in such an incredibly beautiful place, it didn’t get near enough use. She dimmed the outside lights a bit and let the pool light be the star. It was lit up a blue green not unlike the eyes of the man she’d just dragged into her life. His eyes were strange and ever changing, but when he’d looked up at her from his place between her legs they were a magical shade of blue and green and gold, and that was the color she would always remember. She stripped naked and got in the pool. It was heated but the water was still a bit of a shock to her wine-flushed skin. Her nipples hardened immediately and she couldn’t help but think of Renny. Between the dancing and the good hard fuck she’d received her thighs were sore as all hell and the weightless feeling of floating at the edge of the infinity pool was oddly calming – like she was floating on the edge of something precarious, and she was. Nic was on the edge of something, living in a dangerous, exciting place between two worlds, and she wanted to stay there for as long as she could manage. She wanted to live in that space in between, though she knew it was impossible. She had a week, only a week. She stared out over the twinkling lights of the city and pledged she would make it count. Nic would give herself this one week to be happy, to do as she pleased and take whatever pleased her. Whatever came next couldn’t be helped and there was no use in dwelling on it now.

By the time Nic crawled into bed she was exhausted but her mind was still racing, thinking of all that was possible and all the things she could do to fill the time she had left to herself. Much as she tried to push him out of her thoughts they would always come back to Renny – to what he had done to her, to what she had made him do, to all the things she might make him do in the days and nights to come. She wondered where his line was. She wondered if she could make him cross it. Nic found herself wanting things she’d never even dreamed about before, but there was something about that boy that turned her wild and dirty and completely uninhibited. Something about him gave her a strength and a power she had long since relinquished. Maybe she never knew she had it at all. She was wet again just thinking about him and she reached down and played with her clit for a while. It wasn’t enough, though – not after the pounding she got earlier – and she ended up sticking as many fingers as could fit up inside her, wishing they were his. She was drunk and teetering on the verge of orgasm for too long, and just when she’d almost given up she closed her eyes and bit her lip and forced her addled mind to focus on the memory of a sensation – the feel of his tongue lapping at her thighs and dipping into her pussy, his lips pressed tight around her opening, taking everything she had to give back to him. It was what she needed, and she came hard whispering the name she’d christened him with.

She slept soundly that night, better than she had in years, and when she woke she was pleasantly surprised to find she had not even the slightest trace of a hangover. She had a dull ache, though, but it wasn’t her head. Her body was screaming for more of Renny, and it was all she could do not to pick up the phone the moment her eyes opened. Nic didn’t see it as desperation or infatuation or dependency; it was more a matter of making the most of borrowed time. This was the Week of Nic, and she wanted to fill the hours with drinking and fucking and various forms of depravity before she turned back into the stoic woman scorned. She showered, she had breakfast, she took care of a few business-related items that needed her immediate attention, and then she called him. It was noon. He picked up on the first ring.

“That was fast,” he said.

Not even a hello. His voice sounded even sexier over the phone, if that was possible, and he had that cocky tone that made Nic want to reach through the phone and throttle him. But she let it go. She’d let him play the fuck stud for the time being. She had today’s lesson plan all set and ready to go.

“Don’t sound so pleased with yourself,” she replied. “How fast can you get here?”

“Truck’s still at the shop.” Nic just rolled her eyes.

“Figure it out, little man. If you’re not here in an hour, I’m gone.”

She hung up without waiting for an answer and noted the time – 12:03. She set the alarm on her phone to go off in one hour. It was another test, and she hoped he would pass it, but she said what she meant and she meant what she said and if he wasn’t there in the time allotted… well, she’d decide then if she’d turn him away, or if she’d punish him for it.

She was almost done with that month’s _Vogue_ when she heard the sound of the gate buzzer. An involuntary smile spread across her face as she looked at the clock. 1:02. She walked to the intercom and asked who was there as if she didn’t already know.

“Come on,” he said. His voice had a bit of a whine to it, like a petulant child, and it made her stomach flip. “Lemme in.”

“Cutting it a little close, aren’t we?”

“Nic, please. Just open the gate.”

“Say it again,” she said.

“What?” he asked.

“Say ‘please.’”

“Please,” he said, his voice truly pleading with her. “PLEASE let me in, Nic.”

“Get on your knees and beg,” she said, the words flying out of her mouth before she could even process them.

“Seriously?”

“Do it,” she said. “I’m watching you, so don’t you dare fucking lie to me.”

And then he did it. He dropped to his knees on the hard pavement, clasped his hands together as if in prayer, and he begged her for entry. Nic had to cross her legs and she bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood. She waited just a moment too long before she replied.

“Good boy,” she said, and she pressed the button to let him pass.

She heard the unmistakable sound of a motorcycle cruising up the driveway and when she met him at the carport she was floored. He was wearing a leather jacket that looked soft and supple from years of use, the same jeans as the day before, and a threadbare concert T-shirt from a show performed while he was still in diapers. Fuck, he looked good on a bike. Nic wasn’t prepared for that. He whipped the helmet off and hung it on the handlebar and his hair was a mess underneath. He ran his fingers through it and shook it out and it looked shaggy and perfect and begging to be pulled. She knew she had to get her shit together so she steeled herself up before she spoke.

“You boost that thing?”

He just laughed. “Borrowed it from one of the guys in the band,” he said. “I owe him big now, thanks to you.”

“I’ll make it worth your while,” she said. “Come on.”

Nic turned away and walked inside and he followed close at her heels. She headed straight for the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of scotch that Jeremy coveted for his own, taking great delight in the clink of the ice cube in the glass and the four-finger pour. Normally she would only drink wine during the day, and even then very rarely, but this was no ordinary day.

“You want a drink?” she asked.

“It’s 1 in the afternoon.”

“Yes, I’m aware of what time it is, Renny, thank you. That’s not what I asked.”

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair, and Nic thought to herself that she would never get enough of the way it looked when his fingers danced through those California blonde locks of his.

“I’ll guess I’ll take a beer if you’ve got one.”

Nic went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of Stella, popping the top on the built-in opener on the fridge and handing it to him. She moved in close to him, raising her glass towards his bottle and tapping it lightly.

“Cheers,” she said, and she took a small sip, savoring the taste of the liquor as it warmed her insides and feeling completely satisfied.

Whether it was the fact that it was incredibly good scotch or that it had always been off limits to her, she didn’t know. Either way, it made her happy, and that was the only thing she cared about. He took a sip of his beer, never taking his eyes off her, and she could tell he was wondering what the hell she had planned for him that day. He was obviously up for anything, though, or else he wouldn’t have rushed over like he did. Something about that excited her, and she led him out back with a wicked smile on her face he couldn’t see.

Nic took a seat on the outdoor couch, placing her drink on the side table, and Renny sat opposite her in a chair. They were silent for a while, just casually sipping at their respective beverages and enjoying the feel of the sun on their skin. After a while he ditched his t-shirt and she was pleased that he did because the sight of him shirtless was doing things to her and gave her just the boost she needed to get his little lesson started. She swirled the scotch in her glass, eyeing it lazily as she spoke.

“Do you enjoy cunnilingus, Renny?”

He almost choked on his beer. “What?”

“Eating pussy,” she said, “do you like it?”

He looked flustered, and maybe he was blushing, but it could have been the sun. Regardless, it took him a moment to answer.

“Well, yeah.”

“Are you any good at it?” she asked. She was looking at him now, with those eyes of hers that could turn a man to stone.

“I’ve never had any complaints,” he replied, and that cocky smile was back on his pretty face. Nic just smiled, though it wasn’t exactly friendly, and threw him a pillow.

“On your knees,” she said, and she lay back and spread her legs wide. She hadn’t bothered with panties under her sundress.

“Fuck me.”

“Later,” she said, “if you’re a good boy. Now get down there and show me what the ladies don’t complain about.”

Renny was nothing if not eager and he scrambled down onto the ground in between her legs and looked up at her with that smirk of his before running one of his fingers up and down her entrance, studying her for a moment, before he went straight for her clit, the point of his tongue working it harsh and fast as he gripped her thighs. Nic started cackling, and at first he thought maybe she was just ticklish, but when she composed herself and shoved his head away he looked up at her with the most confused and dejected look on his face. She almost felt bad for laughing but she knew she would help him in the long run, and help herself in the process.

“Oh, honey… no.”

He had no response; he could only look at the ground. His cheeks were burning now, and for a moment she thought he might get up and leave, but he looked up at her, eyes wide and willing to learn.

“I think it’s time for a little tutorial.” She tried to keep some semblance of kindness in her voice, though she didn’t know if she was successful. “Something tells me you’re a fast learner.”

He liked that – that small compliment – and it was all he needed. In a moment he was back between her legs, hanging on her every word as she told him where to begin.

“It’s not a race,” she said. “Start slow.”

She leaned forward and pushed his face toward her knee, and when his lips touched her they were warm and pillowy and she knew he had all the potential in the world.

“There. Start there,” she said, “and make your way down. Kiss me. Lick me. Tease me. And look at me while you do it.”

He followed her instructions to the letter and gazed up at her with those big sparkly eyes, thirsty for the knowledge she was imparting to him. When he reached the crease of her thigh with his tongue she stopped him.

“Other knee,” she said, “and repeat.”

He did as he was told and it felt lovely and when he reached the crease on the other side he stopped without being told, and waited. Nic smiled.

“Good,” she said, “now relax your tongue. Keep it flat, and lick me from bottom to top – just the lips now. Get me soaking wet.”

He dragged the flat of his tongue up her pussy, painfully slow, and it was perfect.

“Again,” she said, over and over until she was ready. He was watching her, waiting to be corrected, but he was licking her just right and her body began to respond to him.

“That’s it,” she said, “open me up with your tongue.”

He sped up just the tiniest bit and began to tongue her pussy, and when he moaned onto her flesh she got chills.

“Ohhh, that’s good,” she said, and he picked up on her signal. He moaned again, his tongue now inside her and his nose pressed against her clit – not too firm, just enough to make her want more.

“Kiss my clit now,” she said, “gently.”

He pulled away and spoke, unprompted. “You taste like candy.”

She smiled down at him. Her student was earning extra credit. He leaned in and gave her clit a soft kiss and she felt herself throbbing for him. She knew he could feel it too; she felt him smile against her before he kissed it again.

“Now wrap those pretty lips around it and suck. Not too hard, and give her a little tongue.”

He started to suckle her, every so often grazing her clit with the pad of his tongue and she knew he would get her there eventually. He moaned onto her skin, the way he knew now she liked, and he watched her. He studied her and the way she responded to him – what made her bite her lip, what made her moan, what made her arch her back up off the cushion and clutch her breasts. There wasn’t much more she had to say just then so she let him figure it out for himself. Nic got lost in him for a while and she was close, but then she remembered those fingers of his and she wanted them though she didn’t need them.

“Give me your hand,” she said, and he reached up and presented it to her without taking his mouth away. She took two fingers into her mouth and sucked them, savoring the feel of those knobby digits in her mouth, getting them nice and wet before she let go. “Slide them inside me, slowly, and don’t fucking move.”

He did as he was told and they were a perfect fit and she let out a deep moan that made him respond in kind.

“Can you feel that?” she asked. “Can you feel my pussy around your fingers? Can you feel what you’re doing to me?”

He nodded and moaned “Mhmm,” keeping his mouth where it belonged and she reached down and buried one hand in his hair.

“Let my body tell you what to do, Renny. You’ll know.”

And he did know. He found the perfect rhythm, the perfect speed, and he even managed to find the spot inside her that set her off like a rocket. When she came she pulled his hair and cursed and moaned and rode his face but he never once faltered, he never lost a beat. He just waited for her to tell him when to stop. She let him continue until it was too much to take and then she pushed him off and pressed her legs tight together, the rest of her body like jelly on the couch. He didn’t say a word, just watched and waited. Renny didn’t need her to tell him he’d passed her test, but she knew he wanted to hear it. When she’d fully recovered she reached blindly for her glass of scotch and took a sip, and when she had swallowed she sighed deep before she spoke.

“That, baby boy, is how you please a woman.”

The most satisfied smile she’d ever seen spread across his face, but it wasn’t cocky this time. He was genuinely happy to have pleasured her, and she couldn’t help but smile back. When he stood up she saw the tent in his pants and raised an eyebrow at him.

“I guess you do like eating pussy,” she said. “Good to know.”

He leaned over her, his perfect lips not an inch from her own and spoke low.

“I like eating _your_ pussy.”

Nic kissed him softly. She could taste herself on him and she moaned because he was a surprisingly wonderful kisser. She could have kissed those lips forever, but she let him go because she had stopped breathing and she was completely satisfied. He wasn’t though. She hadn’t decided what to do about that yet.

He sat next to her on the couch and swung her legs into his lap. Nic could feel the erection pressing against her calves but his face was serene, angelic even. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned with it and that pleased her, not that she wouldn’t have fucked him, but he truly seemed like he was content just to have pleased her, and Nic couldn’t remember the last time she’d been with a man like that. And he was a man to her now, even if she called him a boy. She barely knew him, but he was more of a man than Jeremy had ever been.

“You have pretty feet,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

“Not at the moment. I am in desperate need of a pedicure.”

He looked at her and in all seriousness asked, “Can I do it for you?”

She burst out laughing. “You’re not serious.”

“I am completely serious,” he replied. “My sisters used to make me paint their nails all the time.”

“You want to paint my toenails?”

“I would like nothing more in this world than to paint your toenails right now, yes.”

“Unreal,” she said, more to herself than to him. “OK. Let me get my stuff.”

Before too long Nic was lounging with her feet up on Renny’s lap, getting the best fucking foot massage she’d ever had. His hands were built for it, big and strong with long nimble fingers that knew just what spots to hit and when. Every so often he would make a satisfied sound when he was really putting some muscle into it and she had to close her eyes and not look at him or else she’d never let him finish. One time, when she opened them, she caught him staring at her pussy, still swollen and bare beneath her dress, and she laughed.

“I sincerely hope this isn’t the kind of pedicure you gave your sisters.”

He made a disgusted face but he laughed. “You’re fucking twisted.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she said, and she turned to her box of polish. “What do you think – pink or red?”

He gave her a wicked smile and licked his lips. “I think pink, to match that pretty pussy of yours.”

“Dirty boy,” she said, and she handed him the polish.

He did a surprisingly good job, with only one or two easily remedied slip-ups, and Nic found the entire experience strangely erotic. He was so focused on getting it right, and the way he was cradling her foot so delicately as he painted made it seem like he was crafting a work of art. She started to lose it when he blew on her toes to dry them.

“Stop it,” she said, and he just smiled and kept blowing. “Seriously, stop it.”

“What?” he asked. “This?” And he puckered his pouty lips again and blew across her toes like a soft breeze.

“Fuck,” she said, and she closed her eyes. “You’re too good at this. If the whole musician thing doesn’t work out, I bet I can get you a job at my salon.”

He just laughed and kept blowing, holding her leg at an angle that gave him a clear view of what she had beneath her dress. When he was done with one foot, he moved to the other and continued his work, and when he was finished he planted a kiss on the ball of each foot before letting her legs fall back to his lap. His erection was long gone, but he seemed just as pleased as before.

“They look lovely,” she said. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” he said, and she believed him.

She looked down and noticed his feet for the first time. His toes were long like his fingers, and she had the strangest urge to pinch all ten of them one by one. She tried to fight it off, but in her mind pinching turned to sucking and she had to get up and walk away.

He called after her. “Where are you going?”

“I need to put on some panties,” she said over her shoulder. “You’re gonna take me for a ride on that hog.”

She turned her head back around and walked into the house. She didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling.

When she met him out front he had a strange look on his face and she asked him what was wrong.

“I’ve only got the one helmet,” he said.

“I like to live dangerously,” she replied and he shook his head.

“No,” he said, “you take it,” and he held it out to her.

His face was serious and she knew there was no use in arguing, much as she wanted to. Something about the gesture touched her, but she couldn’t think about that. Instead she gave him another signature eye roll and snatched the helmet from his hand, making some snide comment about fucking up her hair as she put it on.

“You should really be wearing pants for this.”

“Are you my dad now?” she snapped. “Just get on the damn thing and take me for a ride.”

He didn’t like it and she could tell but he resigned himself to the fact that it was going to happen whether he liked it or not. He sighed but eventually he chuckled at her and said, “Yes, ma’am,” before giving her a mock salute. She liked that more than she should have.

He got on and reached out a hand to steady her as she swung a leg over, tucking her dress under her as well as she could and reaching under the soft leather of his jacket to cling to him. It felt good to hold him so closely and feel his hard young body against hers. Nic couldn’t help herself and as he started the bike up she reached down and gave his crotch a little squeeze. He turned his head around as far as he could and yelled over the roaring engine.

“You do that when we’re on the road and we’re gonna get in an accident,” he said, but then his tone got serious. “Whatever you do, don’t let your legs touch the pipes. If you’re gonna be a stubborn little bitch about wearing that dress, you’d better be careful.”

Nic wanted to be mad. She wanted to storm off and scream at him to fuck off back to his couch in Reseda and lose her number, but for some strange reason she just laughed uncontrollably and brought her hand back up to his waist.

“Put them here,” he said, grabbing her hands and moving them up to his abdomen, “and don’t let go.”

She held him tight and felt his abs clench a bit under her touch before he took off down the winding driveway and out onto the open road. Nic had never been on a motorcycle before and she found it exhilarating and terrifying. She could tell he was holding back a bit, judging by the way he’d driven her car, and she wanted to scream in his ear to go faster, but she kept her mouth shut for once and just let him take her wherever he wanted to go, however he wanted to get there. There was a time for recklessness and abandon, and this was not that time. Even though he wasn’t going particularly fast, the roads were curvy and there were points where despite herself she had to bury her head in the leather of his jacket because she just couldn’t look, and though she hated herself for it, she even let out a squeak on one particularly harsh turn. She could have sworn she heard him chuckle and made a mental note to make him pay for it later. Other times, when the road was a straight shot, he would take one hand and place it over hers, ostensibly to make sure she was gripping him tightly enough, but there was something else to the way he let his fingers rest on hers that gave her a strange and uneasy feeling. She didn’t dislike it exactly, but it was unexpected and when he would take his hand away she was left with some strange mixture of relief and loss. He ended up pulling over on the side of some random road up in the hills, and when she went to dismount the bike he stopped her abruptly.

“Don’t,” he snapped, and he reached back and held her leg down. “Put your legs over mine and hold on to me. I don’t want you to get burned.”

She was dumbstruck as he lifted her leg and his own off the bike in one fluid motion, bearing her weight and lifting her clear of the hot metal. She found herself still clinging to him, waiting for him to tell her it was OK to let go. He spun around to face her and she expected his serious face but he had that carefree look about him that sometimes angered her and sometimes filled her with something like joy. Nic hated that she couldn’t stay mad at him. She’d never had that problem before.

“So,” he said, “were you scared?”

“Shut up,” she said. Now she was the one who sounded like a child. “I wasn’t scared. You were going too slow.”

He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and just looked at the ground and shook his head.

“You’re something else, you know that?”

“I do, actually,” she replied, and she grabbed his hand and pulled him off toward the tree line.

“What the fuck are you doing now?” he asked, but he knew exactly what she was doing as she swung him around and slammed him against the trunk of a large tree.

“Kiss me.”

He didn’t hesitate, and there was nothing gentlemanly about it. He grabbed her by the neck and pulled her face to his, taking as much of her lips and tongue as she would give him. Nic started to struggle for control of the kiss but he had her hair by the fistfuls and she knew it was pointless this time. She let him just take and take and take until she had no air left in her lungs and she had to shove his chest to get him to release her. She was panting as she stared him down – this strange creature she’d found. Nic hadn’t figured him out yet, and the more time she spent with Renny the more confused she became. He was so eager to please her at times, but at others such a rebellious little shit. She watched his chest rise and fall as he stared back at her, not knowing whether he was waiting for her direction or devising commands of his own. She decided not to give him a chance to complete whatever thoughts he might be having. It was time for another pop quiz.

She smiled and reached under her dress, slipping her panties down and letting them drop at her feet before picking them up and tucking them into the pocket of his jacket.

“No,” he said. “Uh uh.”

Nic just bit her lip and nodded as she began to unbuckle his belt. He was looking around and fidgeting and she thought for a minute he’d just go with it but he grabbed her wrists.

“Someone will see us, Nic.”

“You scared?” she asked, mocking him, but the tension in his body told her that he really was and it gave her pause.

She stopped what she was doing and studied him. He groaned because he was growing hard in spite of himself, and it didn’t help matters that he hadn’t had his release yet that day, though he’d earned it and then some. He looked her in the eyes and she saw his lip quiver ever so slightly. She felt like someone had punched her in the gut.

“It’s OK,” she said, a softness in her voice that sounded foreign to her own ears. “Let’s just go.”

She turned and walked away from him, lamenting his failure and mourning the loss of him though he was still just a few feet away. She was halfway to the bike when she felt his rough hand circle her arm.

“Wait.”

He spun her around to face him. Something about him had changed. Nic could tell he was still nervous but he had a look in his eyes like he knew something she didn’t, something that made it all OK.

“Tell me what you want,” he said. “Anything. I’ll do it.”

She smiled and grabbed the collar of his jacket, pulling him to her, and whispered, “I want you to take me up against that tree. Do you want me, Renny?”

“God, yes.”

“Then show me how much.”

He kissed her deeply again, in full view of the road this time, before she dragged him back behind the tree. It provided some coverage from a certain angle, but there was still an element of danger there that excited Nic more than she’d ever thought it could. The heat and vibration from the bike ride, coupled with the smell of leather and the feel of his body pressed to hers, had already aroused her, but something in the way he kissed her magnified that feeling. It didn’t hurt that he had passed her test, and that never failed to rev up her engine. She flipped her dress up, spreading her legs wide and exposing herself to him, and he could see she was nearly ready as she placed her palms flat on the bark and bent at the waist. She thought his nerves would cause him to get straight to it, and she could have taken it, but before he took his pants down she heard the snap of a twig behind her as he knelt to the ground. She felt his hands on her ass, spreading her open and heard him mutter “Goddamn” before he curled his long tongue around her flesh and licked her straight from clit to ass. He gave her asshole a little poke with the tip of his tongue and she moaned, making a mental note to explore the possibilities that opened up at a later date. For now it was enough to hear the mad scramble behind her as he stood and took his jeans down to his thighs, to feel the tip of his cock run across her lips before he entered her with one punishing thrust.

She cursed loud and he took his hand and covered her mouth as he pulled her upright and started to hammer her harder than she’d anticipated. She liked it, though. She more than liked it. It was exactly what she needed, and from the way he was panting in her ear she knew he did too. All he’d needed was a little push and his inhibitions were a thing of the past. He was fully focused on the feel of her slick pussy around his cock and at that moment he didn’t care where he was or who might be watching. She reached a hand back and grabbed his hair and he brought his hand from her waist to her breast, teasing at her hard nipple through the thin fabric of her dress. He whispered in her ear, “Is this the way you want it?” and all she could do was moan against the rough skin of his palm and open her mouth wide enough to dig her teeth into him. She lifted her leg up and wrapped it as far around the tree trunk as she could, giving him deeper access, and when he felt her open to him he sped up and started to moan. She knew he was close, though she wasn’t, but to her surprise she didn’t care. He’d earned it, and he would get it. She squeezed her cunt tight around him and he felt it.

“Don’t, Nic. I’m gonna come.”

“Do it.”

“But you-”

“Just do it,” she said, “and let me taste it.”

Another couple of strokes and he was ready. He pulled out of her and she turned around and dropped to her knees, watching his veiny hands as he worked his shaft, cursing under his breath when he saw her open her mouth wide. He gave her a look that asked the question without words and she nodded, sticking her tongue out as far as it could go and ticking the underside of his cock as he pumped himself to completion. He huffed out a few quick breaths and then she felt the first spurt hit the back of her throat. She swallowed it quickly and opened up for more and he gave it to her, letting it pool on her tongue as he stared down at her with something like awe on his face. When she knew he was done she swallowed all he’d given her and took his sensitive tip in her mouth, swirling her tongue around to get every last drop, and sucking at him gently until he couldn’t take any more. She took her mouth off him and wrapped her hand around his where it still held his shaft tight, and gave his tip a gentle kiss.

He lurched forward, using the tree to steady himself, and Nic stood up in between his arms. She did him a favor and took his pants up for him before plucking her panties from his pocket and putting them back on. He smiled.

“I wanted to keep those.”

She leaned in and nibbled his bottom lip. “I’ll give them back, but take me home first.”

“I need a minute,” he said. “I can barely see straight.”

He dug a pack of smokes and a lighter out of his pocket and gestured to her. “Do you mind?”

“Only if you don’t share,” she said, and she took a drag off the cigarette he had lit for himself.

Nic wasn’t a smoker. Jeremy thought it a disgusting habit and she’d quit long ago, but sometimes she would sneak a cigarette when he was away, or after a nasty fight. It felt much more satisfying after sex than it had at those dark times. After Renny was done with his smoke he was ready to go, and the ride back to Nic’s house wasn’t nearly as frightening to her as the first one. Like so many things, it started to come naturally after the first time, and she was able to just enjoy the warmth of his body and the scent of him – some delightful combination of leather and musk and man. She felt no fear this time. She felt completely in control of herself. She felt free.


	3. Chapter 3

Nic got an early start the next morning. She went for a long, satisfying run around the canyon, clearing her mind of all thoughts and focusing only on her body, pushing it to the limit and feeling the rush of endorphins flood through her when her muscles screamed for her to stop. She didn’t, though; she kept going until she was back home, completely spent and drenched in sweat. She took a long, hot shower before fixing herself a simple breakfast of granola and yogurt. She drank a few cups of coffee while perusing the morning paper. She felt calm. She felt relaxed. She felt almost happy. Then her work cell rang and it all went to shit.

Nic had spent the better part of the year orchestrating her company’s green initiative – not that she gave a fuck about the environment, but because it made for good press. There were drawbacks to overhauling all the hotel properties, of course. Bradford hotels were luxurious, and their guests liked the indulgences provided for them. She’d done cost-benefit analyses and focus groups out the ass, and though not everyone agreed with the plan, ultimately it had passed. All the properties were to be refitted with energy saving tech, among other modifications, and the first round of renovations was currently underway. This included the Vegas property, which was an especially hard sell because the general manager in Vegas had always been a prick and he was, to say the least, quite vociferous in his opposition to the changes. The board had taken his concerns under advisement, but the decision was not his to make, which was why Nic was furious when she received the call from her brother informing her that the Vegas GM had gone over her head to complain.

“Nicole, why am I getting calls from Gerry at all hours? I thought you handled him.”

Brice was taking that tone with her that he always used when he wanted to chastise her for one thing or another. He’d always been critical, always taken his big brother role too far, and he still treated her like a child even though they were both grown. One word from Brice could always set her off, and this time was no different.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Brice? I made it clear to that man that this was happening whether he liked it or not.”

“Well, he doesn’t like it, and he’s been leaving me messages for the past two days.”

Nic couldn’t contain her rage and she yelled, “That motherfucker.”

“Very professional, Nicole.”

Nic was trying not to lose it completely, but she was fuming internally and she’d just about had it with Brice and every other asshole trying to undermine her.

“Listen, I’ve tried to be patient with this guy. I’ve listened to his bitching for the past six months and pretended to care, but I’m done. He either gets on board or he can find a new job.”

“I don’t care what you do with him,” Brice replied, “but I’m in St. Bart’s right now. I have 18 holes of golf to play. I don’t need this. I’m telling you right now, Nicole, if I get another call from that man, I’m bringing Dad in on this, and he’s not going to be happy.”

That was Nic’s last straw.

“Leave Dad out of it, Brice. I told you I would handle it and I will.”

“If you knew how to handle it, it would be handled by now.”

And with that, her brother hung up on her. She sat at her desk for a while with balled fists, trying to get herself into a professional state of mind, but it was hopeless. The fact that Gerry went over her head, and to her brother no less, was an insult she wasn’t going to stand for. She pulled up the number for the Vegas office and dialed. His assistant picked up and Nic didn’t wait for a greeting.

“Nicole Bradford for Gerry,” she snapped. “It’s urgent.”

“Gerry isn’t available at the moment, Ms. Bradford. May I take a message?”

Nic was seething now and through gritted teeth she replied, “Make him available. I’ll hold.”

She paced the room, listening to the horrible soft jazz playing while she waited, and looked at the clock. She would give him five minutes to get to the phone, no more. She was on minute number four when her personal cell buzzed a text alert. She snatched the phone and nearly dropped it when she read the message.

_I can’t stop thinking about you. My dick is so hard it hurts. I need to see you._

Nic’s initial urge was to throw the phone on the floor and smash it to pieces. She’d had more than enough of men who refused to listen to her, and Renny had broken the first and most important rule she’d laid out for him. She was in a punishing mood, though, so she decided to respond, but before she could think up a reply she heard Gerry’s voice on the other end of the line.

“Good morning, Nicole,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

She didn’t like the way he so casually used her first name. She didn’t like the way he had bucked her authority for months. She just plain didn’t like him, and it was time to show him who was boss.

“Good morning to you, too, Gerry,” she replied, her voice cool and collected. “What you can do for me is pack up your things because you’re fired.”

She hung up without waiting for his reply and stared at the text from Renny. She couldn’t reply right away. She needed to keep him waiting and wondering, but he’d put a very specific image into her head and she couldn’t shake it. He’d need to be taught a lesson, of course, and it occurred to her that maybe that was his intention all along.

_I thought I made it clear that I call you. You don’t call me._

He responded almost immediately.

_You never said I couldn’t text._

Nic couldn’t help but smile. It was an evil smile, because she knew he was in for it, but he had a pair of balls on him, and despite everything, she had to respect him for it.

_You think you’re clever, don’t you? You’re going to pay for that._

_I’m looking forward to it._

_You won’t have to wait long. Get over here. I have a job for you._

And with that she tossed her phone on the desk and went back to her business. She knew he wouldn’t reply. There was nothing left to say.

Nic was on the phone with the HR director when the gate buzzed. She let him enter without commentary and opened the front door as she continued the frantic search for a replacement GM. She ignored the sound of the truck pulling up. She ignored the sound of the door slamming shut. She even ignored the sound of his footsteps as he entered the house, but she couldn’t hold out for long and she walked from her office to the entryway, phone still in hand, and reached him in mid-conversation. He had that cocky swagger about him, and she didn’t know if he thought he’d won or if he wanted her angry, but she’d been fuming for hours already and she was having none of it.

“Can you hold a moment please?” she said and pressed mute on her phone.

He opened his mouth to speak and she reached out and slapped the smirk straight off his face. He stood there dazed for a moment, clenching and unclenching his jaw, and Nic just stared him down, daring him to make another false move. He didn’t, though, and it pleased her.

“Strip,” she said, “and keep your fucking mouth shut. I’m on the phone.”

And with that she got back on the call and sauntered toward her office, knowing he would follow. She sat in her swivel chair with her legs crossed and up on the desk, watching him disrobe. She mouthed “slower” and he listened. Nic watched, barking orders at the woman on the other end of the phone, as his clothes came off piece by piece. He wasn’t wearing much – just a t-shirt, jeans, and a belt – but he dragged it out and it was just what she needed. Once he was naked except for the leather cuffs on his wrists, she scribbled something on a piece of letterhead, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it at his face. She wanted it to hit him but he caught it, and as she continued to shoot down the candidates being suggested for the newly vacant position she watched him open up her note.

 _Get on your hands and knees_ , it read, _and crawl to me._

Nic watched his reaction very carefully – just a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth, so subtle she might not have noticed if she hadn’t been looking for it – and she knew he was ready and willing to take his punishment. She knew then that he’d done it all on purpose, that he’d come to her looking for trouble, and she had to suppress a smile. Renny did as he was asked, and when he’d reached the spot next to her chair she removed her legs from the desk and swung them down onto him, giving his bare ass a little kick before resting her feet on his lower back. She grabbed the notepad and pen she’d been using and placed them on top of him, too, and when he felt the strange objects come to rest on his skin he looked up at her with his eyes full of questions she had no intention of answering. She just brought a finger to her lips and silently shushed him, and he hung his head down and waited for whatever would come next.

The call seemed to go on forever – whether due to the lack of qualified candidates or the naked twenty-five-year-old on all fours at her feet, she didn’t know – but by the time she had decided on the three suitable replacements to be interviewed and hung up the phone her head was spinning with thoughts of what she wanted to do with him. There were a lot of options, but Nic knew one thing for certain: he needed a lesson in obedience, and she was going to give him one.

“Baby boy,” she said, her voice steely and cold, “I’ve had a rough morning and I’ve had just about enough of people who don’t do what they’re told.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Shut up,” she snapped, and continued. “I made it very clear to you how this was going to work, and you disobeyed me. You broke the spirit of the rule, if not the letter, and you knew that, didn’t you? Yes or no answers only.”

“Yes.”

“That’s what I thought.” She took her legs off of him and stood up. “Look at me.”

He turned his head sideways and craned his neck to look up into her eyes.

“Do you understand what you did wrong?”

“Yes.”

“So you know why you need to be punished, then?”

“Yes.”

“Stand up,” she commanded, and he scrambled up off the floor. “Now bend over the desk, palms flat, and don’t turn around.”

He did her bidding wordlessly and she stood behind him, admiring his perfect ass. It seemed almost a shame to defile it, but Nic was in no mood to show mercy.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson about obedience now.”

Nic traced the curve of his ass with one finger and he shuddered. After a moment’s pause, she brought her hand down hard across his right cheek with all the strength she could muster.

“This is what happens when you break the rules, Renny.”

She hit him again, on the left side this time, and she could see all the muscles in his arms and back tense up. He was trying to keep quiet, but he let a little sound slip out and Nic couldn’t tell if it was pleasure or pain or some combination of the two.

“Hush now,” she said, and she placed one hand on the small of his back and smacked him three times on his right side with the other.

This time the sound was an unmistakable groan, and the way he was grinding his hips against the desk told her that he was taking his punishment well – perhaps too well. After a few hard smacks on his left side and another groan she knew without having to see it that he was getting hard. She used what nails she had and dragged them down his reddening cheeks and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He cursed and hissed and she let her nails dig into his skin without breaking it.

“Are you enjoying this, Renny?”

He didn’t answer, just pushed back a bit against her hands like he wanted more. She gave it to him, spanking him without mercy and reveling in the sound of skin on skin and the way the meat of his ass gave a bit under the force of each blow. She brought her free hand up into his hair and pulled his head back, leaning over him so she could see his face. His lips were parted and he was breathing heavy and he looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes. He was pleading with her without words, but she knew he didn’t want her to stop.

“Answer me,” she snarled. “Are you enjoying this?”

“Y-Yes,” he stuttered.

“You want more?”

“Yes,” he said, near breathless. “Punish me.”

Nic really let him have it then, and she let him make all the sounds he wanted. Every so often she would stop and reach forward, yanking hard on his hair and speaking husky and low in his ear – telling him he was a naughty little boy, telling him what naughty boys get. He was gripping the edge of the desk now and every muscle in his body was taut and screaming. He looked beautiful, and when his ass was good and red she decided he’d had enough. Nic stepped back and admired her work before she walked around to the other side of the desk and knelt down to meet his eyes.

“I think you’ve learned your lesson,” she said. “Have you learned your lesson, Renny?”

He swallowed hard and nodded but it wasn’t enough.

“Say it.”

“I learned my lesson.”

“Good,” she said, and she smiled. It was a kinder smile then she’d intended, but he’d taken his punishment without complaint and she knew now he would obey her. He’d learned the rules of the game. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes, but I deserve it,” he said, and then he paused. “And I… I…”

“Tell me,” she whispered.

“I liked it,” he replied. “I wanted it. I just want you, Nic. I don’t care what I have to do.”

His words sent a surge running through her, straight to her core, and she ran her hands softly through his hair as she asked, “What do you want to do?”

She really did want to know, too. Nic knew he was aching for her, but she was curious to hear what he was thinking, what he would do if he had his choice. She had another lesson planned for him, of course, but it could be modified to suit both their needs.

“I just want to please you,” he said, his voice almost begging. “I want to show you how sorry I am.”

She didn’t know if he was just playing a role or if he really meant it, but it didn’t matter. That would suit her purposes just fine.

“I’d quite like that,” she said, “but you still have another lesson to learn.”

Without missing a beat he said, “Teach me.”

Nic walked around behind him and ran her hands up his back to his shoulders, guiding him upright before taking him by the hand and leading him to a nearby armchair. She could see he was hard, though not fully erect, but he would be soon enough.

“Sit,” she said. “Gently now. I know you’re sore.”

He sat gingerly in the chair, wincing a bit, but that look was replaced with a hungry gaze as she stood before him and started to strip.

“You need to learn to be patient, Renny,” she said, tossing her shirt across the room. “I know you want me, but you should have waited for me to call you.”

“I know,” he replied, and he looked at the floor.

“No,” she said, “look at me,” and she let her skirt drop and pool at her ankles. She kept her bra and panties on for a bit, just toying with the straps and the fabric at her hips, before she moved toward him.

“Keep your hands on the chair,” she said. “You can look, but you can’t touch.”

She took off her bra and dangled it in front of him before letting it drop to the floor. Her panties followed, and when she was naked she ran her hands over her body and watched as his eyes followed them. She saw him grip the chair tight and his cock sprang up a little harder. She smiled wickedly, knowing he was fighting the urge to get up and take her whatever way he wanted her. He was listening, though, and learning.

“I know you want to touch me,” she said, “but patience is a virtue, baby boy. The longer you wait, the better it will be.”

Nic strode toward him, slowly and purposefully, and he spread his legs wide to make room for her. He was rock hard now, his cock flush against his stomach, and she knew he hoped she would touch him but she didn’t. Instead she turned around and bent at the waist, grabbing her ankles and giving him a nice long look at everything he wanted but couldn’t have – not yet, anyway. She could feel his hot breath on her skin, and when she heard him whimper she had to bite her lip and close her eyes and force herself to keep going. She couldn’t bear to be that close to him any longer or she would falter so she stood up and walked away from him, toward the matching chair across the room, and sat down with her legs crossed.

“Tell me what you want to do to me, Renny.”

“I… I want…”

“Go on, say it.”

After a pause he said, “I want to taste you,” and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

Nic opened her legs and dangled them over the armrests, and when she bared herself to him again he moaned and bucked a little in his chair. She brought her hand down to her clit and started to rub it in slow circles before she spread her pussy open. She was throbbing for him and she knew what she must look like, all puffy and pink and glistening, and the way he pursed his lips and huffed out a quick breath told her she was right.

“Is this what you want?” she asked, and he nodded.

“Fuck. Yes. Please.”

Nic just shook her head and ran her finger slowly across her slick lips before dipping inside herself.

“Me first,” she said, and she brought her finger to her mouth and sucked it clean.

She heard him curse and she locked eyes with him as she took her finger from her mouth and brought it back to her clit. She played with herself for a while, showing him how she liked to be touched, and when her eyes weren’t closed she let her gaze wander to his fingers where they gripped the chair. She wanted those fingers on her, in her, but there was no stopping now. He was begging to touch her, to taste her, to pleasure her any way she wanted him to, but she let him suffer for a while longer.

“Do you want to touch your cock, Renny?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Please, Nic.”

His eyes were closed now and his head thrown back and the way his body looked writhing in the chair with all his muscles tensed up was so exquisite that she almost let him. She couldn’t, though. That would defeat the purpose of her little exercise.

“That’s too bad.”

He whined and begged some more, and she almost took pity on him, but she had a plan and she knew he’d be happy in the long run.

“Get on the floor,” she commanded. “On your back, with your arms out, and don’t you dare touch yourself.”

When he was in position, Nic rose from the chair and stood over him, her legs on either side of his head, and she watched him as he stared hungrily at her pussy.

“You want to taste me?” she asked, and he nodded vigorously. “I’ll let you, but keep your hands on the floor.”

She lowered herself down until her cunt was mere inches from his face and held herself just out of reach, watching him crane his neck up and stick his tongue out as far as he could. She laughed a little, but it wasn’t cruel, and after a minute of teasing him she sat square on his face and let him go at it. The second her pussy was within reach he licked her and tongued her like he was a starving man and she was a four-course meal. She held herself up until she couldn’t take anymore and then she dropped to her knees, her thighs like a vise around his head. She didn’t know if he could breathe but he was moaning onto her cunt and tongue fucking her and if he couldn’t he didn’t seem to care. She looked over her shoulder to make sure he was following the rules and he was – his hands were on the floor, and he was scratching and clawing at the carpet to keep them occupied. His cock looked about ready to burst, all swollen and veiny, and for a minute she considered reaching back and giving him a few light strokes, but when he really started to go at her she forgot all about it and turned back around, grabbing his hair and pulling to keep his mouth just where it was. One minute more and she was riding his face hard, and the feel of his tongue sliding across her lips and her clit sent her over the edge. She arched her back and brought her hands to his thighs, and she felt his muscles taut in her hands as she came shuddering on top of him. When she was done she fell back onto him and when her back grazed his cock he moaned and started to rut against her. She let him have the contact he craved. He had earned it. He was patient, and it was time for his reward. She sat up on his chest and leaned over him, her lips dangerously close to his as she ran her hand through his hair. He whimpered as his cock lost contact with her skin but when she cupped his face he turned into her touch and grazed her palm with his lips, still soaked in her juices.

“You’ve been so patient, Renny,” she said. “Such a good boy. Do you want to touch yourself?”

He whispered “Yes” against her skin but he didn’t make a move.

“Go ahead,” she said. “I want to watch you.”

Nic slid down his body until she felt the tip of his cock graze her opening. He jerked his hips up when he felt her and she sat up on top of him, sliding her pussy up and down his shaft enough times to get him wet. To her surprise, he kept his hands on the floor and waited, and she smiled as she moved further down his body and came to rest between his legs. She gripped his upper thighs, his cock jumping up a bit when she touched him, and she gave him a nod. She’d never seen anyone move so fast. In a split second he had spit in his hand and was pumping away so fast and hard she thought he might rip it off. She hadn’t noticed until then that he was left-handed, and for some reason she found it intriguing, and as she watched the muscles in his left arm flex and the fingers of his right hand splayed at the base of his cock she decided she wanted to see him come hard and soon and she would help him get there, not that he needed it.

Nic brought her head down and ran her tongue up the ridge between his balls, and he let out a sound so loud and carnal that it startled her for a second. She continued licking him there, paying close attention to the rhythm of his strokes, and when she knew he was getting closer she took one ball then the other into her mouth – gently, but with enough pressure to bring him right to the edge. It didn’t take long – couldn’t have been more than a minute – before he started jerking his hips and fucking up into his hand. After a few quick flicks of her tongue over the ridge, she pressed her thumb to his taint and started to massage it. She knew that would do him in and she sat up to watch while her thumb worked its magic on him. He threw his head back and groaned through gritted teeth as he started to blow. The first spurt had a power behind it the likes of which she’d never seen, and he shot a thick stripe up his chest, almost to his chin. It just kept coming, and by the time he was done his stomach and his chest were covered in it and he could barely breathe. He was a sight to behold like that, and she watched him for a moment as he recovered from what she was almost certain was the most intense orgasm of his life. Nic wasn’t wrong, and when he could talk again he told her so. Then Renny did something she wasn’t expecting.

He thanked her.

She felt an overwhelming urge to grab him and kiss him but she held back, instead just offering to clean him up a bit since she’d never seen a bigger, stickier mess in her life. She had to laugh at it and he laughed with her – that rusty chuckle of his that was so infectious.

“You see what you do to me, woman?”

“I’ll take care of it. You just stay here and don’t move. I don’t need cum stains on that rug. It’s Persian.”

“I couldn’t move if I wanted to.”

Nic smiled down at him as she brushed an errant lock of hair from his forehead. He had a glow about him, and not just from his climax. She could tell he was perfectly at peace with what had happened between them, that he really was up for anything, and that was equal parts disquieting and comforting to her. She didn’t let herself dwell on it, though. She just fetched two clean hand towels from the bathroom, ran one under warm water, and soaped it up. When she returned to him he was lounging with his arms behind his head, staring up at the ceiling with this dreamy look on his face that made him look like an angel. She crouched down beside him and he yawned.

“You can close your eyes if you want,” she said as she cleaned the sticky mess off his torso.

“I could fall asleep right here,” he replied.

“I have more work to do,” she said, “but you can stay. Get some sun, maybe. I like your tan, Cali boy.”

She dried him off with the other towel and when he was sufficiently clean and recovered he rose on wobbly legs.

“You OK?” she asked.

“Never better,” he replied, and he smiled.

There was something in that smile – a little bit of mischief without defiance, and a little bit of something else that she couldn’t put her finger on. Whatever it was, it lit up his face and she knew she didn’t want him to leave just yet. She set him up outside on the veranda with a towel and a glass of water.

“Feel free to take a nap or a swim or whatever you want,” she said. “I’ll be inside dealing with idiots. Do not disturb, unless you decide to get naked.”

Nic heard him laughing as she walked back into the house. She had a lot of calls to make and she needed to focus, and there really was no logical reason to let him stay. She told herself she wanted to have him on hand in case she needed to take out any additional frustrations later on, that she didn’t know what kind of bullshit was in store for her and she might need a good hard fuck to take her mind off the day. If she had been willing or able to be honest with herself, she would have seen it clear as day: having him close made her feel stronger somehow, more capable of dealing with whatever came her way. It really had nothing to do with sex or control, dominance or submission. Renny just made her feel something. It was something indescribable, but she didn’t need to define it or even want to. It was enough to be able to wander out to the back in between calls, poke her head out the door and watch him sleeping, his tan skin glistening in the sun. It was enough to know that if she wanted him, she could have him. It was enough to know that if she talked, he would listen.

As it turned out, it was a good thing she’d kept him around because, despite her vehement objections, Brice had involved their father in the situation. It was completely unnecessary, and he’d done it just to spite her, and by the time she was done with work for the day she was raging again and ready to take it out on the closest warm body. The fact that that body was Renny’s didn’t hurt, and he fucked her good and proper in the pool – hard and fast, the way she needed it. He was young and able-bodied and, despite his earlier lessons, he went two rounds before he was completely spent. When they were done she gave in and kissed him for the first time that day. It wasn’t the tender kiss she knew he wanted but he didn’t seem to care. He just took whatever she felt like giving and gave her all he had in return. He left at sundown with no complaints, just a happy-go-lucky smile on his boyish face. He said he had band practice and it made Nic smile to think of him going to town on a set of drums. Just before he drove away he opened him mouth to speak but, whatever it was, he thought better of it. Instead he just said goodnight. She almost told him to call her in the morning but she caught herself just in time.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said. “Keep your phone handy.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he replied, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her before starting up the truck.

He sped off down the driveway and she should have turned away but instead she watched him go. Her body was spent and her mind was empty but for the desire for a hot meal and a stiff drink so she fixed herself dinner and ate alone at the kitchen counter, with only a trashy magazine for company. Afterwards she went out back with a bottle of scotch and sat in her favorite seat by the outdoor fireplace. She lit it up and watched the flames dance, trying to forget the day. It had been a roller coaster of emotions and she’d gone places she never thought she’d go. She tried to drink until there was nothing left to remember, but it was hopeless. Nic had crossed a line into strange and dangerous territory, but the worst part about it was that she wasn’t the least bit sorry that she had. All she could do was laugh, long and hard and malicious, because she had no idea who she was anymore or what she was doing. For some reason that was funny to her. She didn’t ask why.


	4. Chapter 4

Nic was hungover the next morning, not so ferociously that she couldn’t get out of bed, but she was definitely feeling the previous evening’s indulgences and she needed a long shower and a pot and a half of coffee before she felt human again. While her body had recovered by mid-morning, her mind was still distressed. Doubts were starting to creep into her head – about what she was doing and how she was doing it. It wasn’t so much about Renny, since he’d proven to her that he was willing to go along with whatever she asked of him. It was more a question of why she was asking him to do these things in the first place. She’d never even dreamed of half the stuff she found herself wanting, and for the first time since this whole affair began, she admitted to herself that she really was lost. The most disturbing part of that morning’s little exercise in self-awareness was that she wasn’t even sure she had turned into a different person; maybe this was who she’d been all along.

She had her freedom now, if only in her mind, and the first thing she chose to do with it was to let out all the evil inside of her. Nic had always known it was there, but she’d been able to hold it all in. Impulse control: she’d had it once, but thinking about it now, after all that had happened, she had no idea how she’d done it for so long. She should have known her dark side was bound to come out some time, but the turn things had taken was unexpected, and she had almost reached a point where she was ready to put an end to this madness and try to get her head straight. She would have to deal with Jeremy in a few short days, and she would need her wits about her to do it, but every time she would think about all the ugliness to come, her thoughts would travel back to Renny – to the way he begged to be punished, the way he put himself so completely in her hands, to the way he implicitly gave her his trust as well as his body. She had no idea why he would do that, and the question started to haunt her.

Nic was contemplating an impromptu spa trip to take her mind off things when she received a text from Elise.

_Haven’t heard from you. Are we still on for lunch?_

Nic rolled her eyes. She’d completely forgotten that she’d been sucked into a lunch date with Elise at the anniversary party, and there was no way out of it now. She was expected at Chateau Marmont in a little over an hour, and cancelling their reservation was out of the question. Jeremy was a regular there in his endless quest to impress clients and friends, and although Nic could have waltzed in whenever she pleased and gotten a table, she feared if she cancelled he would hear about it. She didn’t want to have that conversation, but even more than that, she knew any excuse she might make to Elise would be met with a grand inquisition. The woman had a big mouth, and gossip was her favorite hobby, and having already cancelled her tennis match that week, Nic didn’t care to be the topic of conversation among their group of so-called friends. They weren’t real friends, though. Her social circle was composed of the wives of Jeremy’s friends or clients. Her true friends were few and far between, and most of them wanted nothing to do with her once she’d married Jeremy. Nic couldn’t really blame them for it. She was a different person now, and she wouldn’t have wanted to be friends with herself either. She let out a deep sigh and texted Elise back to confirm before rushing to put herself together.

Nic opted for a driver that afternoon, as any extended period of time spent with Elise would require a bit of alcohol to manage and getting a DUI wasn’t at the top of her list of things to do that week. She spent the ride over mentally preparing herself to deal with Elise’s incessant ramblings, wishing she’d had a drink before she left the house since she knew Elise would already be there by the time she arrived. She had the star-fucker mentality Nic loathed, and without having to see it she knew Elise would be sitting there in oversized sunglasses, pretending to peruse the menu while not so subtly scanning the crowd for celebrities. Nic wasn’t wrong, and when the hostess escorted her out to the patio she was gawking at some young woman Nic didn’t recognize or care about. Elise didn’t even see her until she arrived at the table, at which point she got up and greeted her with those ridiculous air kisses Nic so thoroughly despised.

“Hello, darling. You look wonderful, as usual.”

“Elise,” Nic replied. “Lovely to see you again.”

Nic’s own voice rang in her ears – fake and pretentious as fuck – and it made her sick. It was a necessary evil, though, and one she was used to. But it felt different now. This act of hers, this never ending charade, used to come to her effortlessly, but now she just felt like screaming. The women sat, and Nic immediately ordered a glass of rosé as Elise went on and on about how fabulous the party had been, but Nic knew she was just getting it out of the way before she could unload whatever cache of gossip she had stored up. And she knew there would be a lot of it, for what Elise lacked in class she made up for in meddlesome rumors.

“So,” she said, leaning in to Nic, “you will never guess what I just found out.”

It was time for Nic to feign interest, and painful as it was, she did her duty. She let a bit of a smile creep onto her face and raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

“I’m listening,” she replied, and took a sip of her wine.

Elise started with her usual falsehood.

“Just between you and me,” she said, and proceeded to go on about who was getting their nose done, whose tits were fake, who was losing money and who was making it.

It didn’t matter to Nic if any of it was true. She was barely even listening. She just ate her salad and drank her wine and made the appropriate responses at the appropriate times – a gasp here, a titter there, a look of shock or disgust or amazement. Anything she had to do to get the woman in front of her to think she gave a shit so she didn’t have to hear from Jeremy how she’d been rude or cold to her. Nic never understood why he cared so much, especially about a woman like Elise who was awful in every possible way – looks, personality, general worth as a human being. She was just another parasite, clinging to the status of others and relishing in their misfortunes so she didn’t have to acknowledge how miserable a person she truly was. Not that Nic was a paragon of virtue and happiness, but at least she wasn’t a classless, loud-mouthed attention whore. She didn’t take any pleasure in other people’s problems; she didn’t delight in drama. Nic had enough of that in her own life.

She thought that Elise had finished. She thought she was in the clear and she could get to the shopping – the part of the afternoon she was actually interested in. She was wrong though. Elise saved what she considered the best for last. With a furtive glance and a hushed tone, she dropped her bomb.

“Roger is cheating on Paige.”

This time the look on Nic’s face and the words from her mouth, all the horror and shock and disgust, were real. She felt a dull ache in the pit of her stomach, which turned quickly to nausea when she looked up at Elise and saw the satisfied smile on her face – those horrible teeth of hers protruding at all angles as her face contorted into something that was supposed to look like pleasure. It ended up being more of a grimace, really, but Nic knew that however her face looked, the bitch was happy about it. She couldn’t take another second at the table across from that woman so she took her phone out and pretended she’d just missed an important work call.

“Sorry, I have to take this.”

She got up from the table in a hurry and headed to the ladies’ room. The attendant nodded as she entered but Nic couldn’t even muster a cordial smile. She locked herself in one of the stalls and tried to pull herself together, and although she felt like she might actually be sick she was able to hold it down. She was powerless against the thoughts running through her mind, though. If Jeremy had a best friend, it was Roger, and all Nic could picture was the two of them together, discussing their respective conquests over brandy and cigars and laughing at the naivety of their wives. She wondered if Elise’s husband had been the one to tell her about the affair, since he was the one who fed her a lot of her gossip. If he knew about Roger, maybe he knew about Jeremy, too. Nic pictured Elise sitting across from Paige with that same grotesque smile on her face as she told her about Jeremy’s affair. She suddenly felt disgusted with herself for allowing her husband to flaunt his infidelities for so long, but she wasn’t angry. To her absolute horror, she was sad. Rage she could handle, but the grief was too much.

When she exited the stall, she thought she’d composed herself, but one look in the mirror and she knew she couldn’t face Elise yet. Her steely façade was gone and her own vulnerability stared back at her, and while she hadn’t shed a tear and her makeup was still flawless, her eyes were vacant and she looked pale as a ghost. She took another minute or two, trying to push all the dark thoughts down and lock them away in the place she’d always kept them. She was only moderately successful, and despite her earlier misgivings, she had to let her mind travel to Renny. She didn’t want to need him, but at that moment he was the only thing she could think of that gave her some sense of control. She closed her eyes and concentrated, and her first thoughts were memories of the wicked things they’d done, but the ones that followed were quite tame: the way his smile lit up his face, that one chunk of hair that never stayed in place, the way his bare legs looked dangling into her pool. These were the thoughts that calmed her mind so she could deal with the afternoon she would have to spend shopping with this wretched woman. Nic returned to the table, calm and collected, and sat down. By the time she got there she knew exactly what kind of shopping was on her agenda.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked. “I’m in desperate need of some new lingerie.”

Elise smiled, intrigued as always.

“Lucky Jeremy,” she said, and she gave Nic a little wink.

That walking gargoyle of a woman thought she knew it all, and Nic could tell from the look on her face that she thought the need for new underthings was symbolic of something greater. Elise assumed she was grasping at straws, trying to save her marriage by spicing up her love life. She didn’t know shit, though, and Nic paid the bill, silently enjoying the fact that Little Miss Know-It-All didn’t know the half of it.

She left Elise to her own car and told her to meet her at La Perla on Rodeo. The brief respite from her bullshit was all she needed, and by the time Elise showed up Nic was deep in shopping mode. She could have gone somewhere else but she was in the mood to spend an excessive amount of money, and La Perla was the place to do it. Elise _oohed_ and _aahed_ at the selection, pretending she might buy something, but Nic knew she wouldn’t. She didn’t have the figure for any of it and they both knew it. Nic, however, had a body built for sin, and she was in the mood to show it off. She settled on a black lace corset top and matching garter belt, and coupled with a pair of barely-there panties that tied at the hips, some sheer black thigh-highs, and the black Louboutins she had in her closet at home, she knew she was sure to make an impression Renny would not soon forget. Elise wanted her to model the ensemble for her and Nic was more than happy to show it off. She didn’t even mind when the nosy bitch snuck a not-so-subtle peek to see how much she was spending: four grand, straight onto the platinum card, without batting an eyelash.

They exited the store and Nic contemplated making the rounds of her favorite shops but she had had more than enough of Elise’s company and she was anxious to get home and put her brand new purchases to good use.

“Well I’m spent. I should get going.” That much was true, at least, but the rest was almost painful to say. It had to be done, though. That was the way this game was played. “Always lovely to see you, Elise.”

“It was my pleasure,” Elise replied with the same feigned enthusiasm. “Let’s do this again soon.”

The thought was so horrifying that Nic almost didn’t respond but appearances demanded it so she sucked it up the best she could and said, “I would love that.”

With another round of air kisses and a wave, Nic was done with her duties for the afternoon. She almost called Renny from the car on the way home but she stopped herself. She wanted to freshen up, to look absolutely perfect, not for him but for herself and for the little game she decided she’d play with him. It was early evening by the time she’d put herself together, her new undergarments concealed under a simple black dress. She had to go digging for it, and it took a while, but Nic finally unearthed the pièce de résistance: a scarf of deep crimson silk, soft to the touch but strong. She draped it around her shoulders and smiled at the feel of silk on her skin. But that wasn’t its purpose – not that night. She fixed herself a light dinner, poured a glass of wine, and waited. She’d all but forgotten most of her day by then; the game was on now, and she bided her time until she couldn’t take another moment. She imagined Renny must feel the same, if not worse. She pulled up his number and called but the phone kept ringing.

Renny always picked up right away – on the first or second ring at the latest – and by the sixth ring she was ready to hang up but the call finally connected, though it was a stranger’s voice on the other end.

“J is busy,” the man said curtly.

Nic heard some commotion in the background. There were a few voices, one of which she knew was Renny’s, but it wasn’t his usual tone. He sounded agitated and although she couldn’t hear exactly what the men were saying, she could tell things were getting heated.

“Whoever you are, call back later.”

“It’s urgent,” Nic said. “Give him the phone.”

The asshole just laughed, and it was the kind of laugh that got deep under her skin and made her want to break something. She was just about to let the guy have it when she heard Renny on the other end of the line.

“Sorry. I’m in the middle of practice.”

Nic heard someone in the background yell, “this is bullshit,” and she could only assume it was Mr. Asshole, but she couldn’t have cared less about him.

“How soon can you be here?”

To Nic’s surprise, she posed it as a question and not a demand.

“I really should stay until the end. We have a gig tomorrow.”

Nic didn’t know how she should respond. She wasn’t angry with him but she felt torn between playing this role she’d taken on and cutting him some slack. She said nothing but he broke the silence.

“If you want me to leave, I will.”

She could tell he meant it, and it was enough for her to know that he would do whatever she asked of him regardless of the consequences.

“No,” she said. “It’s OK… this time. But you’d better get that tight little ass over here as soon as you’re done.”

She didn’t wait for his response, didn’t need to. She just hung up and tried to figure out what to do with the time she’d have to spend waiting for him. She’d have some time to kill and while she didn’t enjoy being left hanging, she wasn’t in a punishing mood. She figured Renny was probably expecting some sort of reprimand, that maybe he even wanted it, but she already had a plan for him and Nic decided that maybe she should practice the patience she had preached.

Nic decided to watch TV and although she was looking for something mindless, she ended up absorbed in some nature show about big cats on the National Geographic channel. She was fascinated by these beautiful creatures and she found herself thinking about what it would be like to live by instincts alone. Lions and tigers felt no pity for their prey; they didn’t second-guess themselves or try to rationalize their actions. It was in their nature to be predatory and exert their dominance. They took what they wanted when they needed it and didn’t think twice. Nic thought it would be easier to live like that, wild and free and unburdened by conscience. She had always found the human mind to be more of a curse than a blessing. The show ended, as so many of them did, with a discussion of the endangerment of these species at the hands of humans – destroying their natural habitats with machinery, hiding behind weapons to hunt them down for sport. It saddened Nic, not because she was any sort of environmentalist, but because it reinforced her belief that it was human nature to destroy everything it touched. But then the gate buzzed and her mind emptied itself of everything except the man waiting to be let in. She made him wait a minute before she pressed the button.

Nic let him ring the doorbell twice, although she was waiting on the other side of the door and she knew he could see her silhouette through the frosted glass. When she finally opened the door his jaw dropped. She smiled and let him look for a minute before she pressed a finger to his chin and closed his mouth for him. He was scruffier than usual that day and it pleased her. Renny didn’t say a word when she grabbed him by his belt buckle and pulled him inside. His obedience training had clearly paid off and he was waiting for her to speak first. Nic let him wait, knowing he was expecting some sort of reprimand for being so late, and while she didn’t intend to punish him in the way he probably expected, she did have something special planned for him. She dragged him wordlessly up the stairs and down the hall to what used to be a guest room but now served as Jeremy’s room of choice. If Renny could tell the room was her husband’s, he didn’t care, and he certainly didn’t comment. He just stood silently in front of her, trying and failing to keep eye contact. Her dress was simple but tight, and as his eyes wandered up and down she knew he was thinking about what was underneath it, but he had no idea what was waiting for him and wouldn’t for a good deal longer. When Nic finally spoke she realized he’d been holding his breath.

“You’re late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. But you will be. Arms over your head.”

He did as he was told and she ran her hands under his t-shirt, old and threadbare with holes in the most random places. The shirt came up slowly as she dragged her palms over his chest, stopping briefly to feel his nipples harden under her touch, and then it was up and over his head and tossed into a darkened corner of the room. Only the nightstand light was on and it made his tanned skin look like spun gold. The way the light and shadows hit him brought out each line and curve of his torso and Nic bit her lip to suppress a smile. He always did look so lovely without a shirt on, but he looked even better naked.

“Arms down,” she said, and she moved her hands to his buckle.

Renny was starting to breathe heavier now and she let one hand travel to the growing bulge in his jeans. She’d barely even touched him, but it didn’t seem to matter one bit to him. Even through the denim and the boxers she could feel the ridge of his cock and she traced it with a finger while the other hand deftly worked the belt loose. Nic had a wicked thought, as was her custom of late, and she removed the belt from his jeans with a slow, smooth pull. She gripped it on either side and brought it up to his eye level, giving it a little snap and watching his eyes. It wasn’t fear she saw there, not exactly, but there was definitely an element of surprise. Nic just laughed.

“No, baby boy,” she said, tossing the belt aside. “Not tonight.”

He looked almost disappointed but that quickly faded as she made short work of his button and zipper and took his pants down to his ankles. He took it from there, slipping out of his Vans and kicking his pants away. Then he was naked, and bathed in the soft glow of the lamplight he looked more like a sculpture than a man.

“So pretty,” she whispered.

Then she took off her scarf.

“I bought something special today. It’s a shame you won’t get to see it.”

She ran the silk fabric across the tip of his cock and he shuddered, gripping his thighs on either side. He knew not to touch her until she gave permission and she wasn’t going to – not yet. He whined a little, and he almost got a word out before she pressed her finger to his lips to shush him.

“You shouldn’t have been late.”

Nic took the scarf and wrapped it twice around his head to make sure he couldn’t peek, and then tied a knot at the back of his head – tight enough to keep it in place but not so tight as to cause him any pain. She wanted him fully focused on her with every sense but his sight. It wasn’t about punishment, though she let him think it was because she knew that’s what he wanted it to be. She dragged a chair from the corner and placed it behind him before putting her hands on his shoulders. She let her eyes linger on his ass a moment, wearing a girlish smile he couldn’t see, and then she pushed him gently downward.

“Sit.”

She walked around to face him and then turned around, reaching behind her to take her zipper down slowly. In the quiet room the sound was distinctive and she knew, deprived of his sight, he could hear it that much clearer. She let her dress drop to the floor and kicked it away before turning back around and bringing her heel up to his thigh, the point of her stiletto digging in just enough to get a little gasp out of him. She didn’t want to hurt him; she just wanted him to know it was there, and he knew that and more as she took his hand and dragged it from her shoe up her thigh-highs. When his fingers hit her garter he cursed under his breath and she let him do what he wanted. Nic watched him as he toyed with it for a while with his mouth open, trying to get a picture in his head of what she must look like. He let his other hand do some exploring, running it up her raised leg to the lace at the top of her nylons, moving further still until he hit the bare skin of her inner thigh. He moaned when flesh hit flesh and, despite herself, she let a satisfied sound slip from her lips. His fingers were callused from work and wear and they felt so good on her skin she couldn’t hold it in. He liked that – the way she responded to him – and he licked his lips and smiled.

“Feel good?” she asked. Renny nodded but didn’t speak. “There’s more.”

She let her leg drop to the floor and pushed his legs close enough together that she could straddle them comfortably while standing. When she had positioned herself just right she grabbed his wrists and brought his hands to her hips, just under her garter belt, where the tiny strings formed the bows that held her panties up. He went to tug at them but she squeezed his wrists.

“Not yet, baby boy.”

He made that whiny sound Nic couldn’t get enough of but then he brought his hands around to her ass. With his fingers splayed he could almost span the width of each cheek, and he tried his hardest to do so as he grabbed her and pulled her in close. After a bit of trial and error, Renny found what he was looking for, and he pressed his nose firmly against her mound and inhaled a deep, satisfying breath of her. He opened his mouth and she could feel his hot breath as he took the lace between his teeth. When she felt him bring his hands back around to her string ties she almost let him undo them but she grabbed him by the hair to stop him.

“I said no.”

He left them on, as requested, but that didn’t stop him. Instead he just gripped her hips tight and pretended the panties weren’t even there. Maybe in his mind they weren’t because he was licking and kissing and moaning as if there was no barrier between them, and there might as well not have been because she was soaking wet and rocking against his face with her hands buried deep in his hair. She knew he couldn’t see her expressions but it didn’t matter because the sounds she was making told him everything he needed to know. She knew she wasn’t going to come this way, at least not for a long while, and she didn’t particularly want to. He still had more exploring to do so she pulled his head away. Renny groaned at the loss of contact but he wasn’t left wanting for long. She pulled his hands up to her garter belt and let him finger the fabric before she raised them to the rigid bottom of her corset. She let go of him, letting him touch what pleased him, and he chose to slide his hands slowly up the corset, biting his lip as he tried to get a picture in his mind of what this tight lacy thing he was touching would look like on the woman whose body he had come to know. When he reached her breasts he moaned and squeezed and she sat on his lap and let him try to work the cups down to get at her, knowing the boning would make it impossible. Nic watched his frustration grow, the creases in his brow deepening with concentration and his fingers scrambling to find anything that would loosen it. The secret zipper was hidden beneath a trail of buttons down the back, and he wouldn’t know where to look for it even if he had the gift of sight, so she let him suffer for a little while, listening to his ragged breathing as she played with the hair at the back of his neck. She let it go on a minute too long before she put an end to it with a kiss.

She didn’t mean for it to turn into a kiss. It didn’t start that way. She just took his face in her hands, leaned in, and bit his bottom lip. It was plump and pink and crying out to be nibbled so she let herself do what she wanted. She wasn’t expecting his tongue to dart out, quick and nimble, and trail the inside of her upper lip. She wasn’t expecting to open her mouth to him and let him touch her face as he took what he wanted – that tender kiss she’d always denied him, so soft and so slow. For some reason she let it happen, whether because she knew he couldn’t see her or because the way his scruff felt against her skin was spellbinding she didn’t know and she didn’t care. She had no idea how long it lasted but when he’d had his fill he pulled her head back and went at her skin hungrily, licking a line from her neck down to the top of her breasts where they popped out of the corset like muffin tops. He wanted them still, but he couldn’t get to them, so he settled for licking and nibbling her until the combination of lips and tongue and teeth and stubble made her so wet and desperate for him that she did the last thing in the world she ever thought she’d do.

“Kiss me again,” she whispered. “Please.”

Renny stopped and looked up at her as if he could see her, though she knew he couldn’t, and he seemed almost as taken aback by it as she was.

“Can I see you now?”

He was using that soft, pleading tone she liked even more than the whine and before Nic even knew what she was doing she was fumbling with the knot at the back of his head. When she had it loose enough he reached back and ripped off the scarf and his eyes lit up like it was Christmas come early.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Kiss me, Renny.”

And he did, only this time it was filled with lust at the sight of her. His strong arms encircled her back and he held her tight to his chest as she gripped his shoulders and rocked her hips on top of him. She could feel how painfully hard he was beneath her and she was about to get up and direct him to the bed when he took some unexpected initiative. He stood up like she weighed nothing and walked her over to the bed. Nic instinctively wrapped her legs around his ass to cling to him and he didn’t take his mouth off hers until he had reached the foot of the bed. When he did he pulled away and tossed her on her back and she bounced a little before he grabbed her ankles and yanked her toward him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“You said I could see you.”

Nic would have chastised him in some way but for the feeling of his scruffy chin on her hip as he undid one of the bows with his teeth. He moved to the other side and loosed its twin, and as he moved his mouth to her center and gathered enough fabric to tear the panties off she looked at him and flashed him a wicked smile.

“Clever boy.”

He went at her pussy for a while, licking her lazily as she ran her fingers through his hair. She wasn’t trying to come that way, and he wasn’t trying to get her there. She thought maybe he just wanted to taste her, to get her good and ready, and she was partially right, but there was more to it than that. Renny was hesitant about something and she wanted to know what it was. She pushed his head away.

“You want something,” she said. “You’ve wanted something since the second you walked in the door.”

He looked up at her with big eyes that sparkled even in the dim light. He was aching for something but she could tell he was holding back. She sat up and whispered, “You can tell me.”

“I…I…” He stopped and looked down at the ground. She didn’t make him look at her while he said it. “I want you to tie me up.”

“Did you come here wanting that, Renny?”

He nodded. He still couldn’t look at her. She reached down and raised his head by the chin.

“Look at me,” she said, and he finally met her eyes. “I would love nothing more than to tie you to this bed and fuck you senseless, baby boy. Tell me what you want me to use.”

“Belt,” he said. He didn’t even pause.

Nic smiled. “Belt it is, then. Bring it to me.”

Renny fumbled around the floor of the darkened room and the light was catching him just right, allowing Nic a nice long look at the dimples that graced his lower back. He really was like a work of art, and she lost herself for a moment thinking that maybe she’d like to add him to the collection of beautiful things she’d acquired over the years, but she forgot that soon enough when he returned to the bedside and handed her the worn leather belt that would bind him. It was softened from years of use and that pleased her. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing and even though he might have wanted her to, she didn’t want to hurt him.

Nic didn’t even have to ask him where to go; he just scrambled onto the bed and positioned himself on his back with his hands raised and gripping the pewter scrolls at the center of the headboard. She straddled his stomach and there was a desperation in his eyes and a slight quiver of his lip that shot straight through her body. She knew then he had been waiting for this. Nic wasn’t sure whether it was something he had always wanted or whether, like her, Renny was discovering urges he’d never known he had, but she was more than happy to oblige him. She kept the buckle close to his wrists as she wound the belt around the back of the headboard, twining the leather around his wrists in a figure eight until she could fasten the first hole to the buckle. There was a length of belt left hanging, not unlike a leash, and she pushed it to the side so she had an unobstructed view of him. He looked so helpless there, and before she’d even begun she could see the tension in his arms as he pulled against it. Those vascular arms were crying out to her and she leaned forward and traced an especially prominent vein with her tongue from his wrist down to his bicep. He moaned then, and pulled harder against his restraints, and although he was hard as steel and ready for her, she decided to play with her toy for a while.

Nic took her time with him, tracing every curve of muscle with her fingers and teasing his nipples with her tongue and her teeth. Every so often she would bring her mouth close to his, torturing him with the prospect of a kiss before moving to his earlobes and tonguing the small hoop earrings he always wore. She whispered filthy desires in his ear as he writhed under her, and when she was done she took his earring between her teeth and gave it a little tug. He was begging for her now, just the way she liked, and she was almost ready to give him what he craved, but she wasn’t done just yet. She licked down his neck and he threw his head back into the pillow, arms screaming against his restraints as she moved down his chest and settled on his thighs. She wrapped both her hands tight around his cock and gave it a stroke.

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

He whispered a near-breathless “Yes” and she locked eyes with him as she brought her mouth down and licked the drop of precum off his tip.

“Say it.”

“I want you to fuck me. Please, Nic. Just fuck me.”

She smiled as she reached around her back like a contortionist and found the zipper of her corset, dragging it down slowly and watching Renny’s chest rise and fall before she finally revealed herself to him. She heard a sharp intake of breath from him and she knew it was cruel but she crawled up onto his stomach and let her full breasts hang just out of reach of his tongue. It was long and pointy but despite his best efforts he couldn’t get to her. He struggled a while before giving up with a whine and letting his arms go limp. Nic was throbbing for him now, and she knew he’d had enough of games, however much he was enjoying him, so she reached around and gripped his shaft as she slid her body down onto him. When his tip reached her opening he bucked a little and tried to bring his legs up but she pushed his thighs down flat.

“Stay still, baby boy. I’m gonna fuck you blind.”

She gripped his cock again and slowly slid down the length of him until he was buried deep as he could go, but she didn’t move. He groaned and she could feel him squirming beneath her, trying to urge her on. Nic just watched and waited until he was pulling so hard she thought the belt might break and then she started to move – slow at first, bracing herself on his thighs so he could watch his cock sliding in and out of her. Renny licked his lips and craned his neck to get a good look at her, and when she was satisfied with his response she shot forward and before he could even respond she was fucking him into the mattress with her hands on his chest. He felt good, too good, and she realized all too quickly that the teasing and the games and the buildup was just as good for her as it was for him. She moved her hands up to his and gripped them tight where she’d bound them, finally giving him access to her breasts. He took the nipple he could reach into his mouth, sucking and tonguing and biting her while she continued to ride him mercilessly. Nic’s thighs were screaming but she didn’t care because she was close and she wanted to fuck him as hard as she wanted to be fucked.

Maybe it was the burning need in his eyes. Maybe it was the short hot breaths he was taking, punctuated with those little whimpers and moans that could get her going all on their own. Or maybe he just felt so fucking good that she couldn’t take it another second. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter, because her toes were curling and her clit was throbbing and she was powerless to resist her body’s need to grip him tight and let him pound her over the edge. She took her hands from his and fell onto his chest, gripping his shoulders as she stilled herself on top of him. He looked at her quizzically for a moment, and if she hadn’t been ready to burst she would have smiled at it, but Nic needed her release like she needed air and she spoke low in his ear.

“Fuck me, Renny. Make me come.”

He knew what to do. In a flash he had his legs up and his feet flat on the bed and he was fucking her with every ounce of strength he had in him. Nic took hold of his forearms and held on tight, and when she looked down at him he had his teeth dug deep into his lip and his brow furrowed with complete concentration. He had a singular focus and at that moment there was nothing else but Nic – her voice, her scent, the feel of her pussy pulsing around him – and when she came she let out a series of desperate cries that made him moan so loud it was like he was coming himself. She didn’t know if he was. She couldn’t even think at that moment, but when she got herself together she realized he hadn’t and he was still going at her, eager as ever. Nic let go of his arms and she felt her own muscles sore from how tightly she’d gripped him and she had to brace herself on the headboard to keep from collapsing. When she’d recovered she reached back and pressed his thighs down flat against the bed and he stopped.

“Do you want to come, baby boy?”

Renny nodded vigorously with that hungry look in his eyes and she knew he was close, and it took all the strength she had left to sit up and fuck him with the same power he’d given her. She had to grab on to the end of the belt for purchase, and she gripped it like a rein as she rode him hard. She had one hand on the belt and the other gripping the leather that bound him and when she looked down at him she saw something strange in his eyes. It was that look again – he wanted something from her and she knew he wouldn’t say it without prompting.

“Tell me what you want.”

He closed his eyes and slammed his head into the pillow a few times but he didn’t speak.

“Tell me or I’ll stop.”

Her tone was serious now and his eyes shot open. Renny looked at her, searching her for permission, and she gave it to him.

“Hit me.”

Even Nic was shocked and she had to make sure she heard him correctly.

“Say that again,” she said, but this time it was more of a question than a command.

“Slap me, Nic. Hard.”

She had a moment of doubt but the look in his eyes told her that he wanted it. Maybe he even needed it. She took her hand from his fettered wrists and brought it to his cheek slowly, cupping it and running her thumb across his lips as she looked down at him. Nic still wasn’t sure so she asked the question with her eyes and he answered her.

“Do it. Please. I need it.”

He said it in that tone that could make her do just about anything so she pulled her hand away and brought it down across his face. He moaned and writhed underneath her when he felt her connect. She thought she’d used enough force but apparently not because he begged her to hit him harder. And she did – once, twice, three times until he was damn near bucking her off of him and she knew he was ready to blow.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. One more. Please.”

She hated to mar that pretty face but she gave him the slap he needed and the crack of skin on skin was followed by three short cries, each one louder than the next, as he came hard beneath her. Nic could barely bring herself to look away from his face, contorted in some twisted form of ecstasy, but the way his arms were flexed to capacity was so mesmerizing she couldn’t help but stare. She knew Renny was done when his arms went completely limp and she scrambled to release him from his bonds. When she got him free he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her down on top of him, letting them lay like dead weight on her sweat-slicked skin.

She didn’t stop him. She let him hold her there long after he’d gone limp. His heart was pounding in his chest and his breathing was labored and she knew he couldn’t have moved if he wanted to. More than that, though, it felt nice to be held like that, if only for a short while. It was well past midnight by then and Nic had no intention of letting him stay, but she would let him have this moment, and she would let herself have it, too.


	5. Chapter 5

When morning came, Renny was gone. Nic had been barely conscious when he’d left the night before, and while she hadn’t explicitly told him to leave, he knew that sleepovers weren’t part of the deal. Part of her was grateful for that because in the state he’d left her in it wouldn’t have taken all that much convincing to let him stay. It felt good to feel his strong arms around her and his warm body beneath hers, and it had been so very long since she’d shared a bed with anyone. It was against the rules, though. He knew it implicitly. Still, part of her wanted it, and that was more frightening to her than anything that had happened between them thus far.

As she made her way to the kitchen for her morning coffee she couldn’t help but think back on that kiss. Nic wanted so badly to forget it. She hadn’t meant for it to happen. She should have stopped him, or at the very least turned it into something harsh and rough and lustful, but she didn’t. She let him kiss her the way he wanted to be kissed, and despite all efforts to deny it, she knew deep down that she liked it – even worse, she’d ended up begging for another. Even then, sitting at the kitchen island with a steaming mug in hand, Nic found herself wanting more. She hadn’t bargained for this and she knew she needed to put it out of her mind. That wouldn’t be all that difficult, though. She had a rough day ahead of her.

It was time for Nic to call her attorney. It was long past time, really, but she had finally come to terms with the fact that her marriage was over. She wanted to think she had reached this decision on her own, that her little fling was just a by-product of something she’d already decided – maybe it was true and maybe it wasn’t, but it didn’t matter now. She had business to take care of and she had to push Renny out of her mind and focus on getting everything in order to start the divorce process. It was sure to be a long one, given the amount of paperwork involved, but at least she knew her finances were secure. She’d come into the marriage with money and she had a rock-solid prenup. Her father had insisted, of course, but she and Jeremy had both been in agreement that it was the right thing to do. His first divorce was messy and he had his own interests to protect, although Nic had always had more money than him. It had been an unspoken sticking point between them from the beginning. Jeremy was not one to be outdone in any way and he couldn’t help but resent the fact that his wife was worth more than he was, and that everyone knew it.

Nic knew he wouldn’t make a fuss. Jeremy would want to keep things quiet and easy, especially given his extracurricular activities. He had likely been thinking about it for a while, and perhaps he’d already spoken to his own lawyer. Nic didn’t care, though. She needed to be the one to leave him, if only to maintain what pride she had left. When she entered her office to phone her attorney she saw it: a note from Renny, scrawled on a piece of her letterhead and almost illegible. She almost threw it away without reading it. Just the sight of it had made her stomach flip. It wasn’t against the rules, but her mind was racing with thoughts of what might be written there, especially given the way the previous evening had gone. Nic prayed it wasn’t something sweet and kind, or worse some confession of love for her. She wouldn’t have been able to handle that, though she didn’t want to think about why. Nic set her coffee down and took a deep breath before she picked it up.

_I know you won’t come but I’m leaving you the address for the show tonight. Starts at 9:30 and goes until 11._

Nic checked the address and rolled her eyes – some shitty bar in the Valley. Not that she’d expect them to be playing the Whiskey or anything even remotely legitimate, but the idea of going there was laughable. Renny knew she wouldn’t go, and he’d said as much, but she couldn’t help but smile at the invitation, knowing he had probably wanted to ask her but couldn’t muster up the courage to do it in person. There was something about that that pleased her, though she didn’t know what, but regardless she had no intention of going and she had more important things to focus on.

She called her attorney and was able to get in to see him that afternoon. He’d been with her family for years, taking care of their private matters, and she could count on his discretion. Trust was in short supply these days, but she knew he would be able to guide her through the paperwork as quickly as possible and direct her to the best divorce attorney that money could buy. Nic wanted to rip Jeremy off like an old Band-Aid and discard him, as quickly and painlessly as possible. She wanted to start again somewhere else. Maybe she’d even get it right the next time around, though that was highly unlikely. As she left her lawyer’s office, head swimming in the sheer amount of paperwork and preparation that would have to be done, she came to the realization that perhaps she was a woman who was better off alone. It was a depressing thought, but that didn’t make it any less true.

After an afternoon of poring over the details of their prenuptial agreement, discussing assets and logistics, and just generally having to think about Jeremy for an extended period of time, Nic was exhausted. Her emotions were all over the place, flipping the switch from grief to anxiety to anger without warning. None of her usual tactics were helping, not even her favorite activity of a nice hot soak in her bathtub, with bay windows overlooking the hills and the city beyond. Aromatic candles meant to calm one’s mind, a glass of wine, bath salts, jets pumping the steaming water around her body to relax her muscles – none of it could take her mind off of what was to come in the weeks and months to follow. Her week of freedom would soon be over and she would have to face the harsh reality she’d been hiding from. And she was hiding, she’d decided – hiding behind this role she’d decided to play, burying herself in booze and lechery and using Renny to distract her mind and body from what was real. Having spent an afternoon grounded in the hard truth of things, it was almost like he was a dream – something perfect she’d created, tailor-made to fit her needs and wants and desires – not a person with feelings of his own. She didn’t like to think about the part of him that existed outside of the world she’d created for them to play in, which was one of many reasons she had no intention of going to see his band play. It would make him real, and she couldn’t have that.

The bath water was growing cold and her skin was getting wrinkled and Nic knew it was time to give up on the idea of relaxation. It wasn’t going to happen, not that day, and although she wanted to bury her head in a good book or lose herself in music, she threw herself back into preparations for the divorce. Her attorney had provided her with a short list of the best divorce lawyers in the city so she threw on some comfortable clothes and after a light dinner, she went to her office to check out the three names she’d been given. She didn’t like the look of the first one – he seemed young and a bit too green for her taste – so she crossed him off the list. The next two were older, seemingly more experienced, and she ultimately decided on the one that looked the meanest. Maybe once he had been handsome but the picture on his website showed a firm-set jaw, a deep-lined face, and a pair of snake eyes that showed no emotion. He was the one who could get the job done. She was certain of it. Nic shot an email to her attorney, making him aware of her decision, and that was that.

She should have gotten off the computer then, made an early night of it, but her curiosity got the better of her and she ended up on the website of the bar Renny was playing that night. A few clicks and there it was – some amateur shot of the band in what was very clearly someone’s garage. They were called Psychotic Blonde, which Nic found amusing for a multitude of reasons, and there he was on the drums in the background. But she couldn’t focus on him. The bass player kept catching her eye and she couldn’t help but stare. There was no doubt in her mind that the guy she was looking at was the asshole she’d spoken to on the phone. He just had that air about him – that cocky, shit-don’t-stink swag so blatant that it could be captured in a still photograph. It didn’t help that he was cut and covered in tattoos. In her younger years, Nic was always hot for the bad boys, even though nothing good ever came from it, but this guy was hot as fuck and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. He looked like he could have been some long-lost relative of Adam Levine, and while she eventually let her gaze wander back to Renny – his arms in particular, frozen in action as he banged out some unknown rhythm – it was that cocky fucker in the middle that excited her. She smiled, a rogue thought nagging at her restless mind, as she realized that maybe avoiding Renny wasn’t the answer. Perhaps the best way to distance herself from him and squash this whole thing for good was to remind herself that she was just as desirable to other men as she was to him. She decided she would suck it up and go to the Valley that night, but she wasn’t going because Renny had asked her. Per usual, Nic had her own agenda, and that night it wasn’t one he was going to enjoy.

Her usual evening attire just wouldn’t do so she dug deep in the part of her closet she reserved for the old clothes she never wore but couldn’t bring herself to throw away. Each article of clothing she came across reminded her of her twenties, when everything was all fun and games: bars and clubs and parties and a seemingly endless string of guys undressing her with their eyes without a lick of shame. Though mentally she felt ancient, physically she had barely aged since those days and she knew without having to try them on that all her old things would fit her. She decided on a tried and true outfit – a black leather miniskirt, soft as butter and sinfully short, paired with a red tube top and her signature black Louboutins. At any other time she would have felt ridiculous leaving the house in that get up, but it wasn’t a regular night and she wasn’t headed to her usual places. Some shit bar on the outskirts of the city was no place for couture, and she felt like attracting attention for all the right reasons. After some debate, she decided to wear her hair down. Her face always had a cold affect, but ponytails made her look especially severe and the theme of the evening was flirty, though it wouldn’t be directed towards Renny. She let her hair fall in its natural waves down her back, applied an amount of makeup somewhere in between barely there and painted whore, and smiled at herself in the mirror. A dark denim jacket completed the look, and if she hadn’t been bearing the weight of the years in between, she could have been 25 again.

For the briefest of moments she was wistful. She had been young once, too – carefree and happy, like Renny was. She shook it off, though, because in the end she was the architect of her fate. She had made her own choices, no one had forced her hand, and it was useless to look to the past for solace. However she may look on the outside, nothing could unburden her of the things she carried. She was too far in this now. Sex was her comfort and her control, and though she knew how wrong it was and that it was more than likely making things worse, fuck if it didn’t feel good to be wanted by somebody. She couldn’t deny the pleasure her body was getting, didn’t even want to, and she was growing more addicted to it by the day. She thought to herself that it wasn’t _him_ that she needed – she was addicted to the way he felt, what he could do, and what she could do with him. It was the pleasure, not the person; it had to be, because what did she even know about him other than the way his lips and his tongue and his fingers and his cock never failed to send her into an orgasmic bliss the likes of which she hadn’t felt in years. But if Renny could do it – if he could be taught and trained and broken in to her liking – then someone else could, too. At least, that’s what she was hoping as she made her way to the Valley.

She vastly overestimated the time it would take her to get there and she found herself parked a block from the bar at 10:00. The show had already started, sure, but she hadn’t planned on being there for the whole thing. She wanted to waltz in late, as if he were an afterthought, and catch the last half hour. Nic wasn’t particularly interested in the music anyway. It was more about having Renny see her there. She wanted to watch his face break into a smile as he caught a glimpse of her in the crowd, then watch that smile crack and fade as she proceeded to flirt with any man that wasn’t him. And if that asshole bass player happened to be up for her games, she wouldn’t turn him away.

Nic managed to kill about 20 minutes in the car checking emails on her phone and dicking around with various apps but she couldn’t sit there any longer and she really wanted a drink. She planned on staying sober enough to drive that night but if she was going to have to spend any time at all in this shithole, she would need a drink or two. Nic rarely drank beer but something about the place told her that any mixed cocktail would taste like rubbing alcohol and any wine would come from a box, so when she walked in she headed straight to the bar and resigned herself to a night of drinking some variety of domestic swill from a twist-off bottle.

“When in Rome…” she muttered to herself, and took a deep swig. The taste of it reminded her of college and she had to laugh.

The stage was at the far end of the room, only slightly raised, and the place was small and packed so she couldn’t see a thing. She heard them, though, and to her surprise they weren’t bad at all. The picture on the website showed that Mr. Asshole was the lead singer in addition to the bassist, and she hated to admit that his vocals were really quite impressive. She smiled, thinking that if this guy was going to be a prick, he could at least back it up with some talent. The song was most likely an original, as it didn’t sound even remotely familiar; it wasn’t a ballad exactly, but it had a nice, slow groove to it, and while Renny’s drums were there, holding the beat steady, the vocals were really the star. She was still pushing her way through the throngs of drunken Valley girls and douchebags when she heard the singer fuck up a verse and laugh a little. She froze in place. She knew that laugh.

Once she’d heard it, Nic couldn’t fathom how she didn’t immediately recognize the voice as his. She still couldn’t see him but it barely mattered because all she wanted to do was close her eyes and listen to that voice of his, so melodious and soulful. She decided to slink off into the darkened corner to the right of the stage and find herself a spot with a good vantage point. Renny still hadn’t seen her, and although her plan had been to shock him mid-show and maybe throw him off his game a bit, all that went out the window the second she heard him sing. Nic concealed herself in the shadows and finally got her first clear look at him up on stage. He was very clearly in his element, and Nic thought maybe even if she had pushed her way to the front of the stage he may not have noticed her. He was lost in the music, and it was beautiful, and although it went against every urge she had, Nic sat and stared like the rest of the girls in the bar who were drooling at the sight of him.

He was clad in a threadbare t-shirt, exposing his arms as they fueled the drumbeat. A sheen of sweat covered him from the exertion and the lights and the body heat hanging heavy in the room, but it wasn’t his body that was drawing her to him. This time it was his face – the way his pillowy lips pursed, almost kissing the microphone when he let each word pass through them, the way his eyelashes grazed his cheek when he closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the song, the little half grimace he would make every so often when he was straining to hit a difficult note and hold it steady. She would have laughed at the guyliner he was wearing, but somehow this rockstar persona of his made it appropriate, sexy even, and she was transfixed by him. She didn’t bother trying to snap out of it until the song was over. All attempts would have been futile and she just didn’t give a fuck anymore because all she could think about was running her tongue up his neck to his earlobe, tasting that salty sweat she could see even from a distance. He had those fucking earrings on, too. It was too much, and when the song was over and he looked out over the audience with a wink and a smile she instantly regretted her decision to come.  

It wasn’t the group of drunk girls in the front screaming for his attention. She bore no jealousy because she didn’t need to. It didn’t even bother her when one of them threw her bra up at him and he caught it on his drumstick, sticking his tongue all the way out like he was on some Gene Simmons trip as he twirled it around and grinning like a wicked little boy before tossing it back. She found it amusing, truth be told, that he had this side to him – that he could be cocksure and brazen given the underlying urges she knew he had. She found herself wondering which part was real and which one the act he put on. When she’d first met him he had that cocky swag about him, so perhaps this was the real him and he’d morphed into something that fit the mold of what she wanted from him. But she couldn’t shake the nagging suspicion that the opposite was true – that her version of him was the reality and the rocker was the act. Nic had to snap out of it, though. This was exactly what she didn’t want, why she’d told herself all day she had no interest in coming. She didn’t want to know what was real and what was pretense. She didn’t want to know him at all. He was a fling, nothing more, and just one of many men she could bend to her will with a glance. Besides, she had come there with a different purpose and she forced herself to stick to the plan. That became much easier when they started up a Zeppelin cover and the bass player took the lead.

It was “Lemon Song” and of course it would be because this guy oozed sex and he knew it. He was all show with his thin tank and tattoos everywhere, and the way he gyrated his hips and gripped the mic stand like he was stroking his own cock was getting Nic all kinds of hot. She couldn’t help it; between his lewd motions and his face twisted and contorted like some invisible girl was sucking him off on stage, it was like an open invitation to any and all women watching to rip his clothes off and fuck him senseless. Panties were flying at the stage but he acted oblivious, not lost in the music like Renny had been, but just too above it all to even acknowledge them. If Nic hadn’t already known what an asshole he was, it was abundantly clear to her now but she still had a laser focus on him. The guy just had that indescribable aura that makes someone a star, and while Renny’s voice was leagues better and more powerful, this guy had _it_ , and he had no problem letting everyone in the room know.

When the song was over, Nic made her way back to the bar for another beer, creeping through the shadows so as not to be seen, and she decided she would hang back for the last song of the show. It was another original composition, this time a bit harder rock, and while Renny’s drums were featured prominently, she could tell his vocals had been turned down. Part of her was pissed but the part with the plan was happy about it. His voice had done something unexpected to her and she didn’t know if she could handle another round. It was best she just sat back, invisible, waiting for the show to wrap up. She wasn’t invisible, though. She was drawing a great deal of attention – from the bartender to the guys milling around waiting for drinks – and she just let it happen. She was pleased to find that she’d not lost the gift of flirtation over the years so she let them all ogle her and hit on her, pointless as their endeavors were. She had a mark, and while she was more than willing to hone her skills on the random men who approached her, she had no interest in any of them. That night it was all about Mr. Asshole. It was more of a challenge at this point, really, because Nic knew if she could get him in all his self-absorbed, narcissistic glory, she could get anyone.

It didn’t hurt that a blind man could see the tension among the band members. They were all in a pointless battle for dominance over the man who Nic could only assume was their self-proclaimed leader. She had seen it on Renny’s face the one time she’d looked at him during “Lemon Song” – the irritation and contempt. If Nic was going to flirt with another man in front of him, there was no better choice than Mr. Asshole. Nic told herself it wasn’t about making Renny jealous so that he would want her that much more, although she would inevitably enjoy that part of it. To her, it was about breaking whatever twisted bond they had formed over the past few days and showing him he didn’t mean anything to her – that he was a fucktoy she could discard at will and easily replace with another. Whether that was actually true was irrelevant. This was something she needed to do, because to do anything else was so horrifying and unacceptable to her that she couldn’t even entertain the thought of it.

After the show was over, Nic remained at the bar, casually sipping her beer as she watched a group of barely legal fangirls swarm around the band members. She had to suppress a laugh. They clearly had a small but dedicated hometown following, and she could tell from the way these girls were fawning all over the guys that they would do absolutely anything to get in their pants. It was pathetic to watch, really, but amusing just the same, and Nic had no intention of interrupting. Instead she just hung back and watched the way Renny responded to the girls. He seemed quite pleased with himself – not cocky in the way Mr. Asshole was, but he was undeniably enjoying the attention. Nic didn’t bother approaching him; she let him have his moment, knowing he might need to cling to that feeling of being wanted soon enough.

Renny was mid-conversation with one of the drunker girls when he looked up and saw Nic on the other side of the room. His eyes went wide and he had a dazed look at first, not unlike the one he’d worn the first time she’d slapped him, but then she saw his face break into a smile. It was a look of genuine pleasure without a hint of arrogance and it shattered his rockstar façade instantly. It was a look she knew, one she’d seen before, one she enjoyed, but she kept a straight face as he scurried over to her like a happy puppy. When he got to her it seemed for a moment like he might take her in his arms to hug her but he halted just short of her, remembering himself just in time and thinking better of it. Instead he opted to run one hand through his hair and jam the other in his back pocket to occupy them.

“You came.”

“Very perceptive.” Nic was playing the ice queen but it wasn’t putting a damper on Renny’s enthusiasm. “I suppose I should say you were good.”

“Only if it’s true,” he said and he smiled at her, expecting one in return. He didn’t get it.

He was talking to her animatedly, gesticulating with his hands as he sometimes did, but she wasn’t listening. Nic was lost in her own machinations and she only snapped back to her senses when Mr. Asshole came up behind Renny and clapped him on the shoulders.

“You gonna introduce me to this sweet thing or what, buddy?”

It was clear that Renny hadn’t intended on doing so, whether because he thought Nic wanted to keep him her dirty little secret or because he was at his wit’s end with the man behind him, but he had no choice now. The guy was nothing if not persistent as he gave Nic a quick and dirty up and down and licked his lips. He really was a jackass but Nic liked the attention and the sheer level of arrogance coming off this guy was almost an aphrodisiac on its own. She could tell Renny was uncomfortable but he made the introduction, however begrudgingly.

“Jasper, this is Nic. Nic, Jasper.”

Jasper reached out and grabbed her hand, giving the top side a mocking kiss, and said, “Call me Jazz.”

Nic had to laugh as she snatched her hand away. “No, I don’t think I will.”

She heard Renny snicker and she smiled, but not at him. She could tell he was confused and more than slightly irritated and Nic was starting to feel like maybe this was a mistake, but then Jasper was pushing Renny aside and standing dangerously close to her. He was all lean muscle and tatted up and down his arms and across what she could see of his chest. Nic wanted to know what else might be hiding under there and she looked up at him with a smirk. He was taller than her, even in her heels, and he dwarfed poor Renny to the point where she couldn’t even see him anymore.

“You have a very… interesting style of performing, Jasper.”

“You like what you see, sugar lips?”

He was such a shit but she did. She really did.

She heard Renny snap from behind him, “Don’t call her that.”

Jasper turned to him with a laugh and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Renny looked like he wanted to knock his teeth out.

“Whoa, man. Relax. I was just complimenting the lady. What’s she, your girl or something? This where you been sneaking off to lately? Can’t say I blame you for keeping her to yourself.”

“I’m not his girl,” Nic said, and as much as Renny tried to keep it together his face fell. Nic felt like someone had punched her in the gut but it needed to be said because it was the truth. It had to be.

“Well alright, then,” Jasper said and he wrapped his other arm around Nic’s shoulder and pulled them all together, as if in some sort of conspiratorial huddle. “I don’t know about you, J, but I’m cranked the fuck up and I think the three of us should keep this party going. Whadya say, doll? You wanna get out of here? Hit up another bar?”

Nic absolutely loathed every stupid pet name coming out of his mouth but she liked the way his fingers were tickling at her bare shoulder. She couldn’t look Renny in the eye so she looked at Jasper instead.

“I’m game,” she said. “But I’m not going to some Valley shithole. How about we go to my place?”

“Nic…” Renny started, but she cut him off.

“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.”

He looked at her and then at the ground. “Whatever you want.”

Jasper’s face broke into a Cheshire cat grin and he brought his hand down to her ass and squeezed it. Renny didn’t see it, and Nic was glad for that though she didn’t want to be. When he finally looked up he had a look of concern on his face but it wasn’t for her. He turned to Jasper and his face was colder than she’d ever seen it.

“We gotta get the equipment packed up first.”

“Nah, man. Fuck that. Let the other guys do it. We got places to be. Can’t keep gorgeous here waiting.”

Renny didn’t like it and he wasn’t having it. “That’s a dick move.” He looked over at Nic with his eyes pleading for her not to do this but she just stared back, emotionless. “I’m gonna stay and help. You guys go. I’ll be there when I can.”

He didn’t wait for a response before walking back to the stage.

“Such a fuckin’ den mother,” Jasper said, shaking his head. He turned to Nic and she could see the lust in his eyes. She wasn’t remotely surprised that he didn’t bother hiding it. “You ready to take me for a ride, darlin’?”

Nic felt like slapping him but she just smiled and nodded before walking out the door. She lingered in the doorway for the briefest of moments, casting a glance over her shoulder. Renny was staring at her from behind his drum set, but he wasn’t angry. He looked sad, and that was so much worse.

When they reached Nic’s car Jasper let out a loud whistle.

“God damn, mama. That’s a nice ride.”

Nic looked at him with contempt. She was getting tired of his bullshit already but she was in too deep now and he still looked good enough to eat.

“Get in before I change my mind.”

She didn’t have to tell him twice, and as Nic sped back to Bel Air, Jasper blatantly stared at her tits and her legs while he rambled incessantly. Nic was only listening enough to know that his favorite topic of conversation was himself. He was quite possibly the most narcissistic person she had ever met, and in L.A. that was quite an accomplishment. She only really tuned in when he started asking her about Renny.

“So, if you’re not his girl, how do you know J?”

“He’s been helping me with some stuff at my house,” she replied. “He’s very handy.”

Jasper didn’t believe her for a second, and she wouldn’t have either, but he mostly let it go.

“Whatever you say, doll. I don’t mean to pry.”

“Yes you do,” she replied, and he laughed.

“You’re a saucy thing,” he said. “I like that.”

Nic took her eyes from the road for a moment and she saw the predatory look on his face as he licked his lips and draped one arm around the back of her seat.

“Keep it in your pants,” she said. “We’re almost there.”

When they pulled up to Nic’s house Jasper tried to act unimpressed but Nic could tell he was full of shit. She directed him out back and grabbed two beers from the kitchen, and as she made her way to the veranda she found herself hoping Renny would get there soon. Letting this jackass hit on her wasn’t nearly as exciting when they were alone as it had been when he was watching. It was cruel but it was true, and she realized then that she had been stupid to think this wasn’t about Renny. Jasper was sexy as hell and she couldn’t deny that her body was attracted to him, even though her mind was screaming at her to tell him to fuck off, but she didn’t just want him. She wanted both of them, together, and she wanted Renny to want it too. This was going to be a challenge, the biggest one yet, but she was feeling up for it. If it all went to shit, then that was that – it would be over and she could go back to her mess of a life until the court deemed her free again. But if she could make it work… well, that would be something. It was another thing she never knew she wanted, but now it was all she could think about.

She texted Renny and gave him the code to open the gate himself. She’d left the door unlocked for him and now she was just waiting and only halfheartedly listening to Jasper as he rolled himself a joint. He hadn’t asked if she minded, not that she would have, but while it didn’t surprise her in the least she found it irritating. Nic found herself wondering where the fuck this guy got off acting the way he did. He was good looking, but he took arrogance to a whole new level and she decided he must be compensating for something. When his joint was ready he asked her if she wanted some.

“Not tonight,” she said. “But you go ahead. I’m going in the hot tub.”

“I think I’ll join you.”

When his shirt came off Nic bit her lip and, though she tried, she couldn’t look away. She hadn’t been wrong in assuming he had more tattoos hidden under there, but she wasn’t expecting the prominent V like an arrow pointing at his crotch. He wore his jeans slung low enough that she could see the top of his bush but he was hairless otherwise. He would be a manscaper. Nic laughed to herself.

“Something funny, doll?”

“Yes,” she said, but she didn’t elaborate. Instead she just stripped down to her flesh-toned bandeau and skimpy panties. That shut him up quick, with the exception of the little _mmph_ sound he made in her general direction.

Nic smirked at him before going inside to grab three towels from the pool closet and a tie to throw her hair up in a bun. When she came back out she found him already lounging in the hot tub with his beer in one hand and the lit joint in the other. He was laid back, like he owned the place, and she let him play king of the castle for a while as she slipped into the bubbling water opposite him. She’d half expected to find him naked in there, presumptuous little shit that he was, but he was wearing his boxer shorts, which was a good thing because she didn’t think Renny would appreciate it if he showed up and his buddy was butt ass naked in the water with her. She didn’t want to care but she did, and she sat back with her own beer, enjoying the heat of the tub soothing her muscles and thankful she didn’t have to concern herself with his reaction.

That was short lived, though, because when she saw Renny come onto the veranda he stopped dead in his tracks and just stared her down with a look that was some horrible mixture of shock and disgust and sadness. She didn’t understand right away but when she looked around she realized that from his vantage point it must look like she was naked and before she could even think she scrambled up out of the tub to show him that she wasn’t. She saw his face relax when he saw she was clothed, however minimally, and he was almost back to himself again when she greeted him with a genuine smile – because she was happy to see him, and in that moment she wanted him to know it and fuck all the bullshit and the games. She walked up to him and grabbed his hands, pulling his arms around her back, and spoke as sweetly as she could.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He was smiling now, and his face was like sunshine as he gripped her wet body and pulled her into him.

“Come get a drink with me,” she said, and she grabbed a towel off the chair and wrapped it around herself as she led him towards the kitchen.

She got him a beer and another for herself and sat on a stool at the kitchen island. He came and stood between her legs, running his hands along her outer thighs as he looked down at her, and she gave him a coquettish smile as she brought her hands up to his chest.

“What are you doing, Nic?”

“Whatever I want.”

“And what exactly is it that you want?” He was a bit more serious now and she knew he was asking her _the question_ but she really didn’t want to answer it because she didn’t know how. “Do you want him?”

“He wants me.”

She tugged on his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss and he gave it to her, but she knew he wasn’t done.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

She paused. Looking at his face, so close to hers, she really didn’t know what she wanted anymore. All she knew was that she was done answering questions and she had a few of her own.

“How does that make you feel?” she asked, sliding her hands up under his shirt. “To know that he wants to fuck me.”

He stiffened a bit when he felt her pinch his nipples and moaned her name.

“Tell me,” she whispered. “Would you watch?” She pinched him again and he hissed. “Would you share?”

“Fuck, Nic.”

“Would you?”

“You said it yourself – you’re not mine to share.” It stung to hear it from him like that but she’d made her own bed with that one and she didn’t have much time to think on it anyway because he spoke again. “But I told you I would do whatever you want me to do and I meant it.”

She smiled up at him, searching his eyes for the truth in that statement, expecting nothing. She found it there, though, and she didn’t know why the hell he was agreeing to this but he definitely was and something about that made her hotter for him than she’d ever been before. He had that strange look about him again – the knowing look, the one that made her feel like he knew her better than she knew herself, and she thought for a minute that maybe he did. At any other time that would have pissed her off or scared the shit out of her or both, but just then it was exactly what she needed.

“I want to get back in the hot tub,” she said. “Come on.”

Nic hopped down from the stool and strolled towards the back, Renny in tow, and when they reached the veranda he sat and unlaced his boots. When he stood and started to shed his clothes she stopped him.

“Let me.”

He smiled as she quickly rid him of his t-shirt, admiring his torso for a moment before moving her hands to his belt buckle and pulling him close to her. She took her time with it, and the zipper that followed, and she savored her favorite part of undressing him – that brief moment when she slid his pants down over the curve of his ass and gave it a little squeeze. Renny bit his lip and she just smiled wickedly at him as his pants dropped to the ground. Then he was standing there in just his boxers and he looked so good she wanted to rip them off and fuck him where he stood but she resisted.

“Much better,” she said, grabbing him a towel and throwing it at him. “Let’s go.”

As they walked across the lawn to the hot tub, perched at the edge of the cliff next to the infinity pool, they saw that Jasper had been watching the whole thing play out.

“What’s up, buddy?” he said, and he gave Renny a wink and a smile.

Nic just dropped her towel in the pile and reclaimed her spot in the tub opposite Jasper. Renny followed her, beer in hand, and went for a spot in between them but Nic beckoned him over with a come hither finger and he settled in next to her.

“Not there,” she said, and she shifted positions and sat on his lap. “Here.”

Renny took a sip of his beer and Nic realized she’d forgotten hers inside. She was OK with it, though, and she reached back and wrapped her hands around his where it gripped the bottle and brought it to her lips. She felt his thighs tighten beneath her when she touched him and soon enough his free hand was splayed across her thigh beneath the bubbling water. It brought a smile to her face and she closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto his shoulder. She heard Jasper laugh and when she opened her eyes to look at him he was staring at the two of them quite intently.

“I think I’m starting to get an idea of the kind of ‘work’ J’s been doing around here.”

Nic smiled. “I told you he was handy.” She turned to Renny. “You wanna show him how handy you are, baby?”

There was a look of shock on his face, however brief, but it had nothing to do with her request. She’d never called him “baby” before and the smile that spread across his face told her that he liked it. Maybe it was something he’d wanted from her for a while, something she hadn’t been willing to give him, but he let it go without commentary. Instead he just dragged his tongue from the base of her neck up to her hairline and whispered low and rusty in her ear.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

He set his beer down and moved his hand from her thigh to her center, and when she felt his other hand start to knead at her breast she spread her legs to give him access. He started outside her panties, running his middle finger across her lips slow and steady, and she could feel herself start to swell for him. She brought her arms up and wrapped her hands around his head and he started to nibble at her shoulder as the hand working her breast got greedier. When he slipped his hand into her panties she let out a little gasp, and as he started to rub her clit she couldn’t help but moan. Soon enough he had two fingers inside her, pumping slow and steady, and since he knew Jasper couldn’t see shit through the bubbling water he took her earlobe between his teeth and spoke rough in her ear – louder than usual, to make sure his rival could hear.

“You like that?” he asked, though he already knew she did because she was writhing under his touch. “You want more?”

“Fuck, yes. Faster, baby.”

He started to thumb her clit as he fucked her hard with his fingers, intertwining his legs with hers to spread her open wider. He had her panting like a bitch in heat and before she knew it he had her bra down and her tits on display, rolling the nipple he could reach between his fingers. They were already hard but when the night air hit her skin it was almost painful but she liked it. She’d had her head back against him and her eyes closed since he started but when she heard Jasper curse she opened them and looked at him for the first time. He was staring at her tits with his mouth open, one hand very clearly down his boxers and stroking his cock and the other gripping the edge of the tub. Nic could have called him over then but she was so close and she wanted him to watch her come, to show him how easily Renny could get her off. She would give him that. He’d certainly earned it. She grabbed two handfuls of Renny’s hair and moaned as he worked her closer and closer, and between his fingers and his tongue on her neck and the feel of his cock growing hard beneath her she knew she was just moments away. Nic let out a series of moans and cried out, louder than was necessary.

“Oh, God. Right there.”

She heard Renny grunt behind her as his fingers found her sweet spot and he barked in her ear.

“Come for me, baby. I want to hear you scream.”

Nic wasn’t a screamer but she did it anyway, because he wanted it and because if any man could make her scream, it was him. She came hard on his fingers and he pumped her through her orgasm, taking his hand from her breast and pressing it against her mouth so she could yell as loud and long as she wanted without causing a disturbance. She could see Jasper pick up the pace of his strokes as he watched her coming and she took in the sight of it for a moment before she had to close her eyes and let her head fall back on Renny’s shoulder as he finished her off. He held her tight against his body as she shook in his arms and when he knew she was through she felt him smile against the top of her shoulder before he took a quick little bite.

When she could manage it, Nic stood up and flashed Jasper a wicked little smile before turning around and getting rid of her bra altogether. Renny was looking up at her, a satisfied smile on his face, and she hooked her thumbs under the sides of her panties.

“You want to take these off?” she asked. “Or should we let him do it?”

Renny looked over at Jasper, cocking his head and contemplating him for a moment before he spoke.

“Let him.”

Nic gave Jasper an over the shoulder glance and he was up in an instant, hands at her hips and yanking her panties down below the waterline. She bent at the waist to get them all the way off and she knew what she must look like, all puffy and pink and swollen. She heard Jasper mutter something lewd under his breath before she felt him grip her ass tight but she didn’t look at him. Instead she watched Renny’s face, trying to gauge his reaction to another man’s hands on her. He wore a half smile and she bit her lip, trying to decide what to do with these pretty young things. She hadn’t quite figured it out yet but she knew one thing: she was completely naked and it was time they joined her.

“Boxers off. The both of you.”

She didn’t have to tell them twice, and it was only a few seconds before they were all naked as the day they were born. Nic found herself happily sandwiched between them, straddling Renny’s lap and stroking his cock while Jasper reached around to fondle her tits. He wasn’t gentle with her, not that she’d expected him to be or even wanted him to be, and he was less than subtle in the way he was rutting against her back. Nic had to smile when she felt it because she knew now why he was such an arrogant prick: textbook little dick syndrome, and while it wasn’t microscopic, it was nothing to write home about – at least compared to Renny. That pleased her, and she knew it would please him, too.

Nic picked up the pace of her strokes as she leaned forward to kiss Renny deep, and he moaned into her mouth in that way that made her whole body ache for him. She wanted to get out of the tub right then and drag him to the nearest bed but she waited, letting him explore her mouth with his tongue while Jasper watched over her shoulder. Nic started to get greedy and she crawled off Renny’s lap and sat next to him, pulling Jasper down on the other side of her. She grabbed them both by the back of the head, guiding their mouths to where she wanted them, and soon she had her head thrown back and one cock in each hand as they each dedicated themselves to the breast she’d assigned them. It was an incredible sensation, really, to have both tits sucked at once, and she lost herself in the feeling of two mouths and two tongues and two sets of teeth and four hands free to roam wherever they wanted to go. She stroked them both as they explored her body but she was putting in minimal effort; she let herself be selfish for a while and from the grunts and moans she could hear and feel against her skin she knew neither of them minded. She let it go on a while longer before she took her hands off their cocks and yanked them off of her by the hair.

“Let’s move this party inside, boys.”

There was no hesitation and all three of them scrambled out of the tub and wrapped themselves in their respective towels. They scampered inside like children, leaving their clothes where they lay outside, and within minutes they were in the guest room in a naked tangle of hands and limbs and lips on the bed. She heard Jasper’s voice in her ear from behind as she traced Renny’s collarbone with her tongue.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

She tore her lips away from Renny. “Is that so?” She looked at Renny and cocked her head. “You want to watch him fuck me, baby?”

Renny nodded vigorously. If he’d had any doubts about this, they were gone now, and she saw that look in his eyes that told her he wanted to play the role of the voyeur, the cuckold, the outsider looking in. It would be sweet agony for him, to watch her like that, but he knew she would make it worth his while in the end. He trusted her, because he always did.

“Get me ready for him,” she said, and she pushed herself up off of him, knocking Jasper back a few steps.

Nic turned to him and placed her hands on his chest, all inked up and hard under her touch, and walked him backwards until his back was against the wall. Renny wasn’t far behind her, and she smiled at Jasper before turning away from him. She placed her hands on Renny’s shoulders and pushed him to his knees as she pressed her ass against the man behind her. Jasper was tall but she managed to reach up and grab his neck tight enough that she could hold her own weight while Renny lifted her thighs up onto his shoulders and buried his face between them. He gripped her thighs tight as he licked her slow and easy, dipping his tongue into her and getting her good and wet again. When he started to flick her clit he looked up at her with those big eyes darkened with lust and she couldn’t have looked away from him if she tried. Jasper had his hands on her tits, which he couldn’t seem to get enough of, but he was watching, too. In the few moments of coherent thought she was able to have with Renny working his magic on her pussy she found herself pleased that the two of them were comfortable enough with each other that there was no awkwardness about it. There was no attraction between them, but they were more than comfortable in their nakedness and when, on occasion, their skin would touch or they would catch each other’s eye, neither man flinched or faltered. They were both too absorbed in her to give a shit, and that was so fucking sexy she could barely stand it. She gripped Renny’s head tight between her thighs and he took her cue, taking his mouth away and looking up at Jasper with a naughty little smirk.

“She’s ready.”

Renny let her legs fall to the ground and pulled her in for a kiss, letting her taste herself on his lips, and she felt Jasper’s hand around her waist. There was a bit of a tug-of-war between them for a minute before Jasper let go.

“Goddammit. I forgot the fucking condoms in my wallet.”

Renny grabbed two handfuls of her ass and looked at Jasper over her shoulder.

“Don’t worry. She’s not going anywhere.”

Renny spun her around and tossed her on the bed as Jasper snatched up his towel and hurried out of the room. He stood over her for a moment, admiring her, before he crawled back in between her legs and planted a series of light kisses up and down her thighs.

“You still want to fuck him?”

“Yes,” she said, breathless. “But I’ll be thinking about you when he does.”

He kissed her clit and she shuddered. “Promise?”

“Just watch,” she said, and she bucked a bit as he dragged his tongue across her entrance. “You’ll know.”

Jasper was pretty quick about it but Renny was really giving it to her by the time he got back and, left to their own devices for another minute, she probably would have come again. Nic whined a bit when he got up and Renny chuckled down at her as he walked over and sat in a chair facing the bed. Normally that would have pissed her off something fierce but her body was betraying her and she wanted him to know she wanted him.

Nic turned her attention to Jasper and was disappointed to find that his little trip downstairs had left him with a semi. She had no intention of sucking his cock to get him ready so she stroked him a few times and weighed her options. He was staring down at her, a hungry look in his eyes, and he went for her breasts again.

“God, I love your tits.”

A lightbulb went off in Nic’s head and she smiled up at him before spitting on his cock.

“Fuck them, then.”

Jasper moved in closer to her, sliding his dick between her breasts and squeezing them tight around it as he started to thrust. Nic let her hands travel around to his ass and gripped it but she wasn’t looking at him. She was watching Renny, legs splayed in the chair, idly stroking his cock and waiting for the real show to begin. It wasn’t long before Jasper was good to go and Nic lay back and spread her legs for him as he rolled the condom on and got on his knees in front of her. He grabbed her by the hips and raised her up to position himself before thrusting into her with one quick stroke. It didn’t hurt, though. She was so used to the feel of Renny’s cock, bare and bigger and thicker than Jasper’s, that it was almost laughable. She looked over at Renny and smiled and he knew it, too, and as Jasper started to move she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. It wasn’t terrible, and it got better because when he’d said he was going to fuck her hard he meant it. He had her legs spread wide as he hammered into her, eyes fixed squarely on her tits as they bounced in time with his rhythm. He had a decent pace going and a nice firm grip on her and he was cursing and praising her pussy and her tits but she wasn’t listening.

Nic was focused on Renny, sitting there and watching her get fucked as his left hand worked his cock and his right hand played at his chest and his nipples. His mouth was open, and every so often his tongue would dart out to moisten his lips, and as she reached down to finger her clit she locked eyes with him. She vaguely registered Jasper asking her if she liked it rough but she didn’t respond with words; Nic just moaned, mentally replacing Jasper’s cock and her fingers with Renny’s. She had another man’s cock inside her but she was fucking Renny with her eyes and he knew it. She bit her lip as she stared him down, and he stared back at her as he started to stroke faster and faster. She broke eye contact when he brought his hand from his chest down to tug at his balls and threw his head back with a low groan. Nic stared at his arms as his muscles tensed and he was so fucking beautiful like that she couldn’t help but moan in his direction. When he looked at her again she cried out, “Fuck me,” and while Jasper thought it was for him the two of them knew it wasn’t. She wanted him then, badly, and she knew he’d had enough of waiting.

“Come here, baby,” she called to him. “I want your big, fat cock in my mouth.”

Nic sat up and pushed Jasper away, flipping over onto her knees and letting Renny slide into bed in front of her. She propped herself up on her elbows and grabbed hold of his cock by the base, swirling her tongue around his tip as Jasper entered her from behind. It was a better angle for him and as she took as much of Renny’s cock as she could she moaned onto his skin with each thrust. He had his hands in her hair and she was straining her eyes to meet his as she bobbed up and down but it wasn’t long before Jasper was fucking her too hard for her to focus. She knew he was close without him saying so but he was never one to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna blow.”

Nic was stroking Renny’s cock the best she could, taking his head in her mouth and waiting for Jasper to be done so she could get him inside of her. She was screaming at him with her eyes, wordlessly showing him how desperately she wanted him, when he spoke.

“Come on her tits.”

His voice was strange and she realized she’d never heard him sound so commanding, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it because Jasper was pulling out of her and the two of them were rolling her onto her back. Renny grabbed her arms and held her down while Jasper ripped the condom off and knelt between her legs, huffing and puffing as he jerked himself to completion. Renny was watching him over her shoulder, breathing heavy and gripping her arms.

“Here it comes.”

“Fuckin’ do it, man. Come all over her.” Renny leaned in and growled in Nic’s ear. “You’re a dirty girl. This is what dirty girls get.”

This side of him was new to her, and it was almost too much, and if Jasper hadn’t shot his load all over her at that exact moment she would have thrown him off the bed and fucked Renny into the mattress to show him who was boss. She liked it though, every second of it, and the second Jasper was through she pushed him aside and scrambled off the bed to the bathroom. Renny called after her.

“Make it quick. We’re not done.”

Nic wiped herself clean and soaped up a towel to get rid of all traces of Jasper and when she was finished she came out to find Renny sprawled on the bed, arms behind his head and cock flush against his stomach, waiting for her. Jasper was there, too, still recovering, and Nic could tell he was waiting for his turn to watch. Maybe he even thought he’d get his dick sucked but she wasn’t trying to get spit-roasted again and she was beyond done with his bullshit. He’d served his purpose. She picked up a towel off the floor and threw it at him.

“Get out.”

He turned to Renny, incredulous. “What the fuck, man?”

Renny didn’t look at him, just smirked up at Nic. “You heard the lady.”

Nic bit back a giggle as Jasper wrapped the towel around his waist and took off, and the second he was out the door she pounced. She straddled him and fisted his hair as she kissed him, grinding against his length as he brought his hands around to her ass and squeezed. He sat up, pulling her against his chest, and yanked her head back by the hair.

“Did he fuck you good?”

She shook her head. “Not like you can.”

He bit her bottom lip and pulled, dragging his teeth across it before letting go. “You like the way I fuck you?”

“God, yes.”

She was rubbing against him, her clit desperate for contact, trying to get him inside her but he stopped her and held her still.

“Beg me for it,” he whispered.

She paused. He’d flipped the switch on her. He was breaking all the rules, but fuck if she didn’t like it and want him so bad she would have done just about anything to get it. She knew how he felt now. She knew why it was worth it.

“Please,” she whined. “Fuck me, Renny. I need it.”

“What do you need?”

“I need you inside me.”

She tried to reach between their bodies and grab his cock but he grabbed her wrist and held it tight. She struggled against him but he had a firm grip on her and all she could do was writhe around in his lap for a while and whine until he broke down and laughed that laugh of his. She looked at him like she was angry but she wasn’t and he knew it. He just smiled as he let go of her wrist and she smiled back at him, grabbing the hair at the back of his head and moving her lips toward his.

“You little shit.”

“You liked it.”

“Just fuck me already.”

And he did. Hard. Really fucking hard. He had her hands pinned up above her head with one hand and the other shoving his fingers in her mouth and making her suck them, not that she had to be told because she loved the way they looked and felt and the way he grunted when she bit them. She could have come that way, her mouth and pussy full of him, but he stopped and flipped her over and started to pound her from behind. One of the fingers drenched in her spit found its way to her ass and he circled the opening while he fucked her. He didn’t ask permission; he didn’t need to because she was bucking back against him and practically begging for it. He slammed into her to the hilt and stopped, still inside her as he worked his knobby finger into her ass. She moaned and pounded her fists on the bed and tried to fuck herself on him but he gripped her hip to hold her in place. She heard him spit and felt it warm and wet on her asshole as he started to slide his finger in and out.

“Oh FUCK.”

“You like that?” He stuck his finger all the way in and wiggled it a little and she let out a sound like some sort of dying animal and he laughed. “Yeah, you like it.”

He kept his finger lodged inside her as he started to thrust again, building to a vicious pace that made her grip the sheets so tight she pulled them loose from the bed. She reached down to rub her clit but he grabbed her hand and put it back on the mattress.

“Let me,” he said, and he started to work her clit in hard circles with the calloused pads of his fingertips.

A few seconds of it was enough and she started to buck back against him as her pussy pulsed on his cock. This time she screamed because she had to, and she came so hard she saw white behind her eyes. Whether it was the sound of her going completely insane or the feel of her walls tightening around him she didn’t know, but within moments he was spilling himself into her with a strangled cry coming from his lips and his hot breath on her back. They stayed tangled together for a while, and when Nic could think again she thought to herself that it would have been lovely to watch his face as they came together, but she contented herself with the fact that she had just had what was unequivocally the best sex of her life, and if that wasn’t good enough for her then nothing ever would be.

She let him stay that night, not just because Jasper had taken the truck and she was too sexed out and exhausted to drive him home, but because she wanted him there. The rulebook had gone out the window and she just wanted to be next to him, both their bodies completely sated. She couldn’t remember the last time she had fallen asleep in the arms of a man, and there were no better arms to fall asleep in than Renny’s. He was strong and warm and their bodies fit together perfectly, and he placed gentle kisses on her neck and her back and told her she was beautiful as she drifted off to sleep.

That night Nic dreamed she was young again, with her whole life ahead of her. It was a world where she was still good, where her spirit wasn’t broken and anything was possible. It was just a white hallway, lined with doors on each side, but every one she opened held something exciting and new and beautiful. When she got to the last door, at the very end of the hallway, she hesitated. She knew what was behind that door – _who_ was behind that door. She didn’t open it. Even unconscious, she knew it was only a dream.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Nic woke once as dawn broke, perhaps from her dream, though like so many it slipped from her consciousness quickly and the harder she tried to cling to it, the faster the memory blurred and receded. She was left only with the sense of reaching for something she couldn’t quite grasp, a common theme of her dreams, those times that she did dream. It was a rarity for her to wake up in the night, most likely because she generally indulged in just enough alcohol to knock her out. She would never use pills, though. She may have inherited her mother’s icy disposition and propensity for drink, but turning to pharmaceuticals to fix what ailed her was a line she refused to cross. Nic viewed it as the final step toward becoming the woman who’d birthed her, and she had always told herself that the day that happened was the day she might as well give up completely.

Renny slept soundly beside her and she wondered if he was dreaming, what he dreamed about, if there was anything that woke him in the night and left him with an unshakeable sense of unease. He looked peaceful, though – like an angel – and Nic thought that maybe he hadn’t lived enough to have her kind of nightmares. Had he not been there, she may not have fallen back asleep, but she did and when she woke mid-morning she reached an arm out to find the spot next to her empty but still warm. She opened her eyes to the sight of Renny’s bare ass looking like two juicy peaches and she smiled briefly until he found the towel he’d been searching for and wrapped it around his waist. He was heading for the door and, though still half asleep, she managed to croak out, “Wait.”

He turned to her, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry. I was trying not to wake you. I’ll get my stuff and go.”

She should have let him leave but she patted the bed next to her and he came back. To her dismay, he left the towel on, but when he crawled back into bed and kissed her it didn’t matter anymore.

“You want breakfast?” she asked.

Nic could tell it was the last thing he expected her to say.

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Seriously. And you’d better answer the question before I take it back.”

He chuckled and looked away. Nic knew he was blushing but she let it go without commentary.

“I did work up quite an appetite last night,” he said.

“You can say that again,” she replied. “I think you’ve earned some bacon and eggs.”

Nic got out of bed and walked naked towards the door, casting a backward glance at him when she got there.

“Kitchen. Five minutes,” she said, and then she left him there, mouth agape, as she made her way to her bedroom to grab a robe.

She washed her face and brushed her teeth and when she was done she looked at herself in the mirror. The face staring back at her was her own, but different. She had that post-coital glow about her, sure, but that had been there all week and this time there was something else to it. By all accounts she should have been a total wreck. It was her last full day and night of freedom before Jeremy’s return, but somehow she was relaxed, almost happy, and it showed all over her face. As she descended the stairs toward the kitchen, Nic promised herself that she would make this day count, and when she saw Renny seated on a stool in the kitchen, clad only in his jeans, she smiled, knowing breakfast wasn’t the only surprise she would have for him that day.

He watched her intently as she put on a pot of coffee and prepared breakfast. She hadn’t realized how incredibly hungry she was until the smell of bacon started to flood the kitchen. She heard Renny chuckle behind her and she turned around to find a smile plastered on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said. “It’s just funny watching you cook.”

She scowled at him, though it was a playful one, and turned back around.

“I didn’t always have someone cooking and cleaning for me, you know.”

He was silent and she knew he was waiting for her to continue. Nic realized he knew practically nothing about her, and though she should have stopped there, she didn’t.

“I always had money, sure, but when I was in my 20s I lived like a normal person. I shared a house with a bunch of my friends. I cooked. I cleaned. All of that shit. I miss it sometimes, actually. You probably don’t believe me, but it’s true.”

“I believe you,” he said, and despite his being broke as shit and occasionally awestruck by the extravagance of her car and her house and the rest of it, she knew it was true.

She placed a hearty plate of scrambled eggs and crispy bacon in front of him and smiled.

“Eat up, big boy.”

Nic was starving but Renny had cleaned his plate before she even got through half her eggs, and when he was done he sat and drank his coffee while she finished. It was quite the domestic scene, really, and it felt nice to share a comfortable silence as opposed to the tension-filled kind that generally accompanied the breakfasts she didn’t spend alone. Nic reminded herself it would just be this once, that it was OK to let herself enjoy it. When she was finished she turned to Renny and he had a soft smile on his face. She raised an eyebrow at him and he swiveled his stool around to face her.

“I like the way you look in the morning,” he said, and she smiled.

“I think you like the way I look all the time.”

“That’s true,” he replied, running a hand up her thigh and under her silk robe. “But I like you natural.”

Nic laughed it off but the compliment made her feel better than it should have.

“You obviously haven’t been in L.A. very long,” she said. “You’ll get over ‘natural’ pretty quickly.”

“I know a beautiful woman when I see one,” he replied, and he slid his hand up and around her back. “Living in L.A. isn’t going to change that.”

“That’s a lovely notion,” she said, “but this town will change you, whether you like it or not.”

“The day that happens is the day I get in my truck and leave.”

Nic smiled, but there was a sadness to it and she knew Renny could see it. She had felt that way once, a long time ago, but she’d chosen luxury over simplicity, pretense over authenticity, and she had no one to blame but herself. She reached out and touched his face.

“So young,” she said, and she hopped down off the stool and gave his lips a gentle kiss.

She started to clear the plates but he stopped her.

“Let me do it,” he said, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

She watched him for a while, moving effortlessly about her kitchen, engaged in the most mundane of tasks. He whistled while he cleaned, and even though there was a dishwasher right next to him, he insisted on doing everything manually. Nic didn’t mind, though it took longer that way. She could watch those beautiful hands do anything and never tire of the view. It didn’t hurt that he was shirtless and his jeans were slung low. Those little dimples at the small of his back were calling out to her and the way his muscles moved under his tanned skin as he scrubbed the pans and the dishes and the mugs was mesmerizing. Nic was sore from the rough treatment the night before, but she started to feel that familiar ache for him and there was no denying it. She needed a nice warm bath, not only because she was filthy and smelled like sex and bacon, but because her nether region could use a restorative soak.

She rounded the kitchen island and came up behind him as he finished up the last of the dishes, running her hands up his back to his shoulders.

“I’m gonna take a bath. Care to join me?”

He turned to her with a smirk on his face. “Breakfast and a bath? It’s not my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t know,” she replied. “But you’d better give me a yes or no, smartass.”

He pulled her body close and leaned in, ghosting her ear with his lips.

“Yes,” he said, giving her earlobe a little nibble. “Definitely yes.”

Renny followed Nic upstairs and into her bedroom and she realized it was the first time she’d ever allowed him in. For a long time the room had been hers alone – her private sanctuary – and at first it felt strange having him there, but before too long she was in the bathroom and running the water in the Jacuzzi tub, watching him strip down as she poured her favorite bath salts in and let the aroma of rose petals fill the room. Her bathroom was the size of a small studio apartment, all Italian marble and ornate fixtures, and the tub itself was large enough to accommodate the both of them with room to spare. It was her favorite place, one she shared with no one, but when the water was ready and she’d shed her robe and lowered herself into the water, she let him in behind her.

She sat between his legs, leaning against his chest as she let her body and mind relax. She had her eyes closed and her head back and her hands resting on his thighs, and when he brought his hands around to cup her breasts she didn’t stop him. When one hand started to travel lower, tracing the curve of her hip to her thigh, she let it happen, but when his hand started to creep toward her center she grabbed his wrist beneath the water.

“I’m really sore,” she said. “You did a number on me.”

She felt him smile against her neck. “I’m not sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

She contemplated the question for a moment before she answered.

“Wash my hair,” she said. “And take your time.”

Nic directed him to the shampoo and conditioner in the shower and he retrieved them as she turned the water back on and adjusted the temperature. By the time it was right he was nestled behind her in the tub, supplies at the ready. She passed the hand shower back to him and she closed her eyes and let him take it from there.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” he said, working the jasmine-scented shampoo into her hair from root to tip.

“Knock yourself out,” she replied, but those were the last words she managed to get out.

Soon he was running his fingers gently through her hair to untangle it and rinsing it clean before massaging the conditioner in. When she felt his strong hands working small circles from the crown of her head to her temples and around the back to the nape of her neck her entire body started to tingle. Her mind was empty of everything but the feel of the pads of his fingers applying perfect pressure to her scalp. He dragged it out longer than he needed to, but she was moaning under his touch and she knew he liked it; the evidence was pressed firmly against her back.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered.

“I won’t,” he replied. “But do something for me.”

“What? Fuck. Anything.”

“Put the shower head between your legs. I want to watch you make yourself come.”

“Oh, God,” she said. “I don’t think… I can’t.”

He spoke low in her ear as his fingers kept kneading at her scalp. “Yes, you can.”

She really didn’t know if she could, since even the water pressure was almost too much against her sensitive flesh, but the head massage alone could have made her come and between his heavenly hands and the way he was watching her over her shoulder and growling filthy words of encouragement in her ear it didn’t take too long. Her climax built soft and slow, and though she had come harder, there was something so much more intense about it this time. Maybe it was the way his hands on her scalp already had chills running through her entire body, or the way he was staring so intently at her as she unraveled in front of him, but when her orgasm hit her it was lovely and languid and she gripped his thigh and pushed back into him until she was spent. She stayed there, body limp and relaxed against him, as he rinsed her hair clean, and when he was done he smiled against her neck and kissed her.

“Told you.”

Nic huffed out a breath that was somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.

“Well, my hair is clean but somehow I feel dirtier. Shower?”

“I wouldn’t mind a shower.”

Renny got out of the tub, his naked body dripping all over the floor, and he didn’t bother hiding his erection. He probably couldn’t have if he tried, and Nic contemplated for a moment what exactly she was going to do about that. He stood next to the bath, taking her hand to help her out and admiring her own nakedness, and when she was safely on the floor she reached around and gave his ass a firm squeeze, with a little smack on one side for good measure.

“C’mon,” she said. “Time to get you cleaned up.”

“I thought you liked me dirty,” he said with that wicked smile he sometimes wore.

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” she replied, and he followed as she walked to the shower.

When it was nice and steamy they stepped in together and Nic grabbed a bar of soap from the dish. She took her time with him, starting with the smooth curves of his back and moving down to that plump little ass of his she couldn’t get enough of. She let her breasts graze his backside as she made her way down to get at his thighs and his calves, working back to front, and when she was done she stood and walked around to face him. He was rock hard and poking at her stomach as she lathered up his shoulders and his arms, and by the time she got to his chest she knew he couldn’t take much more. She felt his muscles clench a bit as she dragged the bar of soap down to his stomach and his hips jerk involuntarily as she traced his happy trail with her fingers. Nic knew by now what she wanted to do with him, and she let the bar of soap come to rest at the base of his cock. She stopped there and cupped his balls with her free hand. She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him, for the moment leaving her hands exactly where he wanted them.

“My turn,” she said, and then she let go of him and turned around.

She heard him groan at the loss of contact and she smiled as she passed the bar of soap back to him, but soon enough he had pulled her in close and she felt him hard against her back as he brought his hands around to her front and soaped up her breasts.

“I do have other body parts, you know,” she said, and he laughed.

“Oh, I know,” he replied, and after a few more moments’ attention around her nipples he moved his hands lower.

Nic reached back and gripped his hips and the bit of ass her small hands could get to and he started to rut against her back, sliding his soap-slicked body against hers as he pressed against her. He pushed her hair aside, kissing the nape of her neck before moving to her shoulder, and his hot breath on her skin and his hands lathering her stomach and her hips made her ache for him, though she couldn’t take him just yet. He kneeled and worked his way down her legs, taking his time with her inner thighs but avoiding her sensitive center, before moving down to her calves, and when he was finished he stood and turned her around. He looked at her and she knew he was wondering if he could touch her in the place he most wanted to.

“You missed a spot,” she said, and she took his hand and brought it gently between her legs.

He kept his palm flat as he ran his hand over her swollen lips, and even though his touch was delicate and careful, she stopped him soon after. It was simply too much just then, and they both knew it, so Nic decided it was time to focus her attention on him. She took the soap back from him and palmed it, running it slowly over the topside of his shaft as her other palm grazed the bottom. When he was soaped up and ready she put the bar away and smiled at him.

“I missed a spot, too.”

She started to stroke him with one hand while the other hand massaged his sac, occasionally letting a finger or two wander farther back to that spot she knew drove him wild. When she touched him there he bucked into her hand a bit and groaned and she increased the speed and pressure of her strokes until he had his head thrown back and his mouth open and was completely at her mercy. She liked him like that, and he liked it too, and with each slippery twist of her wrist up and down his length she brought him closer. He brought his hands around to her ass and squeezed as she continued to pump him, and when she brought her other hand to his cock to join its twin he moaned and the muscles in his stomach started to jerk under his skin.

“You gonna come, baby?”

He couldn’t get a word out so he just nodded vigorously with his eyes wide and pleading. Both of their bodies were white soapy messes but she wanted to see him blow so she told him to turn and face the wall. She stood at his side as she finished him off, one hand squeezing his ass and the other working his cock, and after the first spurt hit the rose-colored marble he threw his hands up on the wall to brace himself for the rest. She milked him dry and admired her handiwork, watching it drip slow and heavy down the tile. She would wash it clean soon enough, but she liked to see what she did to him. When she was through she stood at his back, arms wrapped around him and hands at his chest, and she kissed that beautiful back of his as his breathing steadied. They finished their shower in a satisfied silence, wrapped up together under the shower stream, bodies sliding against one another as the water washed them clean.

Renny towel-dried her and handed her the plush terrycloth robe that hung next to the shower door. Nic felt clean and relaxed and had no desire to put on clothes so she didn’t bother. If she had her way, Renny would always be naked, but she let him wear a towel as she gathered his clothes. They were in desperate need of a washing and as she threw them in the machine with a few items of her own she was reminded of the day she met him – how she’d toyed with him, tested him, used him with the intention of tossing him aside like trash when she was through. She’d lost count of how many times he’d fucked her since, but that first time, while not the best of the bunch, was something special. It put a smile on her face to think about it but it was also quite strange. Things between them had taken an unexpected turn, and while she wasn’t exactly unhappy about it, it was more complicated than she’d ever dreamed it could be. She couldn’t dwell on that just then, though. There would be plenty of time for that later.

She went out back and found him lounging in the sun, towel slung low enough to give her a nice view of the V of his hips and loose enough that it looked like it might fall away at any moment. She wouldn’t have minded if it did and she doubted he would either since it wasn’t even noon and hot as hell outside. She was already starting to sweat under her robe so she took it off, draping it over the lounge chair like a beach towel and sprawling naked on top of it. Renny watched her every move, and she watched him watching her, and when she was fully reclined she looked over at him and he tightened his towel.

“You’re not playing fair,” he said.

“I never do,” she replied, and she closed her eyes and let the sun wash over her.

She lay there for a while until it was just about time to put the clothes in the dryer, and by then it was so hot she needed to go inside for some water anyway. She threw her robe back on and ambled towards the laundry room but Renny didn’t seem fazed by the heat and he stayed put. Nic wondered if maybe he thought that, if he moved, it would remind her he wasn’t supposed to be there – that she might snap back to reality and kick him out like she usually did. She had no intention of letting him leave, though. Not that day.

When the laundry was successfully tumbling away in the dryer, Nic grabbed two bottles of water from the kitchen and returned to him. He had his eyes closed and his hands behind his head, and the sheen of sweat on his tanned skin was irresistible. Nic quietly placed the bottles on the ground and approached him unseen, straddling him and running her hands up his chest as he opened his eyes. He brought his hands to the belt of her robe and tried to open it but she shook her head. He just laughed.

“You are a cruel woman, you know that?”

“You love it.”

“I do,” he said, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her down on top of him. “I really do.”

“What am I going to do with you, baby boy?”

The question was directed at him but really she was asking herself because she still didn’t know what the day would hold for either of them. He could sense it, too. She knew by the way his eyes changed, softening a bit, like he knew something.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Maybe.”

“If you could do anything you wanted to do right now, what would it be?”

Nic tried to laugh off the question even though it was all she’d been thinking about and she still didn’t have an answer.

“Besides you?” she replied, snark oozing from her voice to hide the uncertainty.

“I’m being serious,” he said and she sighed.

Her evasive bullshit clearly no longer worked on him, though she didn’t really know why, but she found herself really thinking about what he’d asked her because it was important. She had this day – this one day left to do whatever the fuck she wanted. She had all the money in the world to play with and any door was open to her. What _would_ she do if she could do anything?

It was completely random and Nic had no idea how or why it popped into her head but she remembered a trip she’d taken years before. She had been about Renny’s age at the time and she and a group of her girlfriends had gone to Big Bear one summer weekend, rented a house near the lake, dicked around and drank and celebrated the type of milestones that seem so significant when one is of a certain age: graduations and degrees earned, new jobs and promotions, engagements and weddings – all the things that made them all feel like life was full of promise and opportunity, that they were officially adults, and that they were happy about it. The day before they left they had all gone swimming near China Island, and one of her more daring friends suggested they go jumping off the granite boulders that formed their own little island nearby. It wasn’t exceptionally high – maybe thirty feet at the highest point – but it may as well have been Mount Everest as far as Nic was concerned. She remembered how terrified she was, how all the other girls climbed up and jumped without a care in the world. Nic refused, despite watching everyone else come out of it unscathed, telling her how exhilarating it was, that she would be fine, that she didn’t have to jump from the very top. She had let them convince her to go off the one of the lower boulders, and she made it to the edge and almost went for it, but even though the drop couldn’t have been more than ten feet and there was nothing in particular to worry about, she couldn’t do it. She was paralyzed by a fear that she couldn’t identify, and she climbed back down and swam to shore.

Nic thought at the time that she would never feel more embarrassed than she did at that moment, but looking back on it she realized how young and stupid and naïve she had been. The depths of humiliation she had suffered since made that moment so insignificant she couldn’t help but start to laugh. Her laugh turned quickly into an uncontrollable cackle and Renny just looked at her with his brow furrowed, waiting for an explanation he knew wouldn’t come. She knew then where she had to go, and she knew she wanted him with her. When she finally got her shit together and caught her breath she touched her nose to his as she ran her thumb across the stubble on his chin.

“Ever been to Big Bear?”


	7. Chapter 7

Nic let him drive. There was no question, really. Something unspoken passed between them as they walked toward the car. She blindly tossed him the keys and he caught them one-handed and got behind the wheel. He had that face full of unbridled excitement again and it made her happier than it should have. It would take them well over two hours to get to the lake but Nic figured, with the way he drove, they could make it there in just under two, but it was still a lot of time to kill and they would have to talk about something. Nic wanted to keep things light, to have a perfect day (or as perfect as she could make it), but something told her she wouldn’t be getting off that easy. Despite Renny’s age, he was too smart for that.

He didn’t have a bathing suit to wear, and while there was a time when Nic would have had no problem putting him in one of Jeremy’s – would have enjoyed it, even – today she didn’t want to think about him at all. She knew she would, that it couldn’t be helped, but the last thing she needed was something tangible serving as a constant reminder. They stopped on the way out of town, and Nic let him hem and haw all he wanted but in the end she was going to buy him a pair of swim trunks and he was going to take them. Renny waited in the car, still petulant but resigned, as Nic waltzed into the store sporting only a white linen cover up with a blue bikini underneath. Renny had looked at her with that quizzical expression of his that never failed to turn him from man to boy, but she just brushed him off. She didn’t give a fuck if she got disapproving looks from the store’s patrons or staff. She had money to burn and she was on a tight schedule and if they wanted to tut-tut her for exposing more of herself than she should have, so be it. Nic quickly chose a pair of red trunks she thought would bring out his tanned skin and blond hair, and after some ogling and clumsy flirtation by the cashier, she returned to the car pleased with herself and her choice. Renny opened his mouth to complain about the gift one last time but she leaned in and silenced him with a kiss, ending the debate once and for all.

They made it out of the city on music alone but Nic knew it was coming and wasn’t at all surprised when Renny turned off the music and suggested a bit of conversation. He pretended the radio was boring him, though Nic knew that was a lie because if there was one thing he could never grow tired of it was music. He was trying to be subtle, and she appreciated it even though she would have been more than happy just watching him drive without exchanging a word. He knew it, too, but he had her trapped next to him now for two uninterruptable hours and he was going to use it to his advantage. Nic had to respect him for it. She would have done the same thing.

“Come on,” he said. “It’s a road trip. We have to play a car game.”

“Do we, though? Do we really?”

“Yes. 20 Questions.”

“Absolutely not.”

He flashed her a purposeful look, all pouty lips and his puppy eyes.

“Are you going to make me beg?” he asked, and she thought about it.

“I’ll give you five questions,” she said. “Make them count.”

“OK, 5 Questions it is, then. You start.”

“No,” she said, not entirely unaware that by asking first she would cede the final question to him. “Your idea, you start.”

“Fine,” he replied, and she could tell he was really thinking about what to ask her. He probably had a thousand questions ready, but he knew there were only a select few she would actually answer. He tried to kill time while he thought of something. “Are we playing with the ‘no same question’ rule?”

“Is there any other way?”

“OK,” he said, and she knew he finally had something. She braced herself for it, knowing that whatever it was, she was sure not to like it. “First question: what did you want to be when you were a kid?”

Nic closed her eyes briefly. He would go straight for the childhood, and with something so seemingly innocuous. She thought to herself he really was a sneaky little shit, but then she looked at him and he was genuinely curious and she remembered how very little he knew about her. To him, it was an honest question, completely innocent, so she answered him.

“I never had much of a choice. None of us did, really. It was always all about the family business. My brothers and I, we just sort of got groomed for it from the time we were too young to know any better – like show dogs.”

“That’s not an answer,” he said. “I asked what you wanted to be.”

Nic turned to him and she wanted to be angry. It had been hard enough even to say that much, but when she looked at him she found that thing in his eyes that was always searching for more of her and it made her remember something she hadn’t thought about in years.

“You’re going to laugh,” she said, and she really thought he would. Jeremy certainly had when she’d told him, and she’d put it out of her mind ever since.

“No,” he said. “I won’t.” She didn’t have to look at him to believe him; it was right there in his voice.

“I wanted to be a baker, own a little shop somewhere. I used to love baking cookies and cakes and pies and all that. My grandmother taught me how. We used to bake almost every Sunday until she died.”

Nic stopped herself there, surprised at how far she’d gone. Renny had a way of bringing unexpected things out of her but this was different. She never spoke about her grandmother to anyone, ever. She had passed away when Nic was just 13 and if Renny had asked her she would have said that that woman was the only person in the world who’d ever truly loved her the way a person deserves to be loved. He didn’t ask, though. He let it go, though she knew he wanted to know more, but it was her turn now and she was thankful for it. Nic decided to stick to sex questions, which was the topic she felt most comfortable with these days. Personal and impersonal at the same time, plus she couldn’t deny she was curious. She started out slow and easy.

“First kiss?”

“That’s not a question.”

“Oh come on, you know what I mean.”

He smiled and shook his head like he knew she was just going to bullshit her way through the questions, but he went with it because that was the game and he’d chosen to play it.

“I’m just fucking with you because that’s a lame question, but I’ll answer because it’s a funny story.”

“Go on.”

“I was 13. Her name was Kelly and I’d had a huge crush on her for what seemed like forever at the time but was probably only a few weeks now that I think about it. Anyway, I was at the park with my friends and my buddy was giving me shit about it and told me that if I didn’t go over and kiss her he’d kick me in the nuts in front of her and all her friends. Didn’t really have much of a choice.”

“So you just walked up to her and kissed her out of the blue in front of everybody?”

“Of course not,” he said. “I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. Then I kissed her.”

Nic laughed. “Such a gentleman.”

“She thought so,” he said, and she could see the smirk on his face even in profile. “My turn again. Hmmm, let’s see…”

He was taking too long and Nic was already nervous about what he might ask her next so she snapped, “30 seconds or you forfeit your turn.”

“Harsh rules.”

“Now it’s 10 seconds.”

“Jesus, OK. Um… well you obviously hate L.A., so if you could live anywhere, where would you live?”

Nic started to think that maybe he was in her head, poking around the pile of questions forever lurking in her own mind, picking ones simple enough so as not to give himself away. He couldn’t be, though. He couldn’t possibly know how many times she’d asked herself that very question, or that the answer to it was something so peculiar even she barely believed it. She could have lied – said Paris or London or Monaco, which would have seemed fitting enough given what little he knew about her – but she didn’t. She played the game truthfully, though she didn’t know why.

“Vermont,” she said. “Some little place in the woods fifty miles from nowhere, with acres of trees and a duck pond. I would settle for a regular pond but since it’s my dream place, it has ducks in it – mallards, if we’re being specific.”

She looked at him and she could tell it was the last thing he’d expected her to say, that he wanted to know more, but she’d answered his question honestly and she didn’t want to think about that little place in the woods anymore. It was her secret, and it probably didn’t exist anyway, at least not for her. She sat up straight and looked him in the eyes as she took her turn.

“How did you lose your virginity?”

“I’m sensing a pattern here.”

“Just answer the question.”

He looked dreamily out the window for a moment before he began, and it was obvious to Nic before he even said so that whoever she was, she had been his first love. She felt a pang of something – not jealousy exactly, but a sense of longing. She couldn’t remember ever feeling that way about anyone.

“I was 16. It was the summer after junior year. I had been dating my girlfriend Erica for about a year by then and her parents went out of town for a week. We decided to play house while they were gone. I told my mom I was staying at my buddy’s place because it was hot as hell already and he had a pool. I don’t think she believed me but she let me get away with it. Anyway, one night I made dinner for her, lit candles, all that shit. We had wanted to do it for a while but we were young and scared and neither of us really had a clue what we were doing, but we ended up going all the way – fuck, that sounds so cheesy, but there you go. Fucked like rabbits for a year after that until she went away to college.” 

He winked after that last part and Nic smiled. He obviously remembered the girl fondly and with no trace of bitterness and, much as she wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything snarky to him about it. She was thankful for the “no same questions” rule because her own story was so sad and pathetic in comparison she would have refused to tell it anyway. He looked at her then, and maybe something had seeped through her smile or maybe he just felt like cutting her a break but his next question was one he no doubt viewed as a kindness.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“Vertigo,” she replied, matter-of-factly and with no exposition.

He probably wanted more but he hadn’t added the usual “and why” and she wasn’t about to offer up more info than was necessary. Her answer didn’t seem to surprise him. He just nodded, drumming his fingers on the wheel and waiting for her next question. Nic had it prepped and ready, and she found herself more interested in his answer than was good for her, but she managed to ask it in her usual indifferent fashion.

“How many women have you slept with? You can add men if appropriate. I don’t judge.”

Nic thought it was a simple, straightforward question but something strange passed across his face when she asked. Given the way their relationship had gone from zero to sixty so quickly, she had always assumed that Renny must be promiscuous, a bit of a man whore, but that didn’t bother her in the least. She was more concerned that he might think that his number mattered to her, which it did not. He was hesitant, though, and she needed to prod him a bit to loosen his lips.

“Oh, come on,” she said. “It’s not a big deal. Just answer the question.”

He muttered something unintelligible over the sound of the roaring engine as he started to drive at an ungodly speed. He was turning red and averting his eyes.

“Didn’t quite catch that,” she said.

He sighed deep and dropped his head down before he answered: “Four.”

If Nic had been drinking something she would have spat it all over the dashboard. 

“You’ve been with five people?” 

“No,” he said, softer this time. “The four includes you.”

Nic sat back, unable to speak for a moment. She would have preferred he had answered in the triple digits as opposed to what he’d actually said and part of her didn’t believe him, but he was fidgeting in his seat and his fingers were fumbling around in his hair and on the wheel and she knew he was telling the truth.

“Christ,” she muttered. “OK.”

Nic’s own number wasn’t especially large, though she was solidly in the double digits and she did have 10 years on him, but still – four? He was one of the sexiest men she’d ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on, and he was a musician – it wasn’t adding up for her and although it was against the rules to ask for more, she didn’t care. When it came to Renny, she’d never played by the rules; there was no reason to start now.

“I’m gonna need more than that.”

“That’s not how the game works.”

She could tell he didn’t want to talk about it but she didn’t care because he’d brought up things she could have done without speaking of and it was his turn to feel uncomfortable.

“I don’t give a shit about the rules.”

He sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ve just always been a relationship guy. I mean, I’ve screwed around a bunch but I just never felt like taking it to the next level. I’ve always needed some sort of connection. I’m not a one-night stand kind of guy.”

Nic tried not to laugh – she really did – but it came out anyway and she immediately regretted it because he looked at her with those puppy eyes of his. She wasn’t making fun, though. She just didn’t understand how their current situation fit in to his sexual philosophy. She should have just let it go but she didn’t.

“I hate to point out the obvious here-”

“Then don’t.”

And she didn’t, not because she wasn’t insatiably curious but because she could tell she had upset him, though she didn’t know exactly why. She had wanted to keep this day all fun and games anyhow, so she dropped it and steeled herself up for whatever question he had lined up for her. She feared he might hit below the belt on this one, given that she’d pressed him farther than he’d wanted to go, but he shook it off quickly, like he usually did, and tried to lighten the mood, albeit unsuccessfully.

“What’s your most embarrassing moment?”

Of course he would ask that question, and she decided right then and there that she wouldn’t answer it truthfully. She told herself it was OK to lie, that she’d already told him about Jeremy bringing his whore into her home, and even if she was honest in her answer she couldn’t have found the words to adequately express what that felt like. Instead, she told him the story of her last trip to Big Bear, and she was able to laugh at herself and he laughed with her.

“So that’s why we’re going to the lake? Because you couldn’t jump off a rock?”

“Yes. And shut up.”

He smiled that smile that was equal parts angel and devil. “Yes, ma’am.”

“My turn,” she said, and this was a question that had been burning her up inside all day. “What sexual fantasy do you have that we haven’t done yet?”

She thought he would be into the question but he most certainly wasn’t because he gripped the wheel tighter and rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, Nic. Are you incapable of asking a real question?”

“How is that not a real question? I’m curious, and I’m more than willing to oblige.”

“OK, fine. I’ll answer the question on one condition.”

“I’m listening.”

“You have one question left after this. Make it a real one. You have to want to know something about me that isn’t related to sex.” He turned to her and he looked truly sad. “Don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” she said, and she really did, but she hadn’t asked in her attempt to keep the mood light and airy. She had no choice now, though, and if he was going to press the issue, she would go for the one question that had been eating away at her since they met. “But if I ask a real question, you have to ask a sex question – deal?”

He smiled and nodded, content with the terms, but he didn’t speak right away.

“Come on. Spill it,” she said. “I know there’s something.”

“There is something…”

“Well if you don’t tell me, how can I make your dreams come true?”

He was still hesitant and Nic couldn’t imagine why since he’d already begged her for things most men would never admit to wanting much less do. She waited for him to drop some bomb on her but his answer was relatively tame.

“I wouldn’t mind fucking you senseless against a wall.”

“Consider it done.”

Renny laughed but he didn’t seem satisfied and Nic thought he was covering for something considerably more depraved than he thought appropriate for road trip conversation. The thought of him taking her hard against the wall was a nice mental image, though, and she had to cross her legs the longer she thought about it. It didn’t go unnoticed, and when he took his eyes off the road briefly and looked at her he bit his bottom lip. It was enough for her, and if there was something else, she knew she could get it out of him later when he was all worked up and rational thought was obscured by the haze of lust. Besides, she was eager to move on and hear what kind of sex question he would come up with for her.

“OK, you owe me a naughty question now.”

“I know. I’m thinking.”

“Think faster.”

“Fine, OK. Have you ever kissed another woman?”

Nic rolled her eyes and laughed. “Why is it that the go-to question for every guy on earth? Jesus.”

“We can’t help it. Just answer the question.”

Nic laughed and shook her head. “Fine. Yes, in college. Cliché, I know, but it’s true.”

“You’re not getting off that easy. Details, please.”

“Someone’s suddenly interested in the sex questions, huh? OK. I had just broken up with this asshole guy and I was out at a bar with my friends, having a girls’ night, drinking, dancing, just generally hating men – you know, the usual post-break up shit. Anyway, there was this girl at the table next to ours. I kind of knew her – we had a class together at some point – and she came over and started flirting with me. More alcohol was consumed, one thing led to another, and we ended up making out in the bar bathroom for a while.”

“That all?” he asked.

He had an eyebrow raised and his forehead all crinkled up as it was wont to do when he was curious or confused or some combination of the two. Nic side-eyed him and spoke in the huskiest voice she could muster.

“What do you want to know? That she came back to my dorm room after? That she wanted to kiss me and touch me everywhere and I let her? That she licked my pussy and finger-fucked me until I came all over her pretty face?”

“Jesus Christ.”

Nic smiled. “Once she started I couldn’t have stopped her if I wanted to, not that I did. That girl really knew her way around a vagina.”

“Fuck me.”

“Do you have a boner, baby boy?” she asked, but she knew he did even before she reached over and palmed his rigid cock through his jeans. He squeezed his eyes closed tight for a brief moment before training them on the road.

“I’m gonna have to pull over if you keep that up.”

“Go ahead,” she replied, continuing to tease him through his pants. “I’ll take care of you.”

Nic could tell he was torn and he let her stroke him for a while as he fought his urges, but eventually he took his hand off the stick shift and gently grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“No,” he said. “You owe me one more question – a real question. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not getting out of it.”

“I could always suck your dick and then ask you…”

“Nic–” 

“Fine,” she said with a huff. “Let me think a minute.”

But Nic didn’t need to think of a question; it had been there all along. She just needed time to gather the strength to ask it. They sat silently for a while – Nic pretending to rack her brain, Renny waiting patiently to hear what she’d come up with. She still wasn’t ready when she turned to him but by then she’d realized that she’d never be ready and she needed to get it out, for better or worse. Her heart was beating wildly and her mouth was dry but she managed to spit it out.

“Why do you trust me?”

As soon as she got the words out she fought the urge to close her eyes and grit her teeth, like she did sometimes when she thought Jeremy might finally snap and lay a hand on her. She forced herself to look at Renny, though, and where she expected to see shock or fear or regret she saw a soft smile spread across his lips. He didn’t pause to think about his answer.

“Because you’re a liar,” he said, “and you’re terrible at it.”

Nic stared at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed, feeling completely exposed – like her whole body was a raw nerve and he’d just poked it with a stick. She felt so much all at once that she shut down and for a moment she felt nothing at all, but then he looked at her and she knew definitively that he could see right through her. The nothingness was replaced almost immediately with an anger as vicious as it was misplaced. 

“Fuck you,” she spat. “I don’t know what you think you know but you’re wrong.”

“It’s not a bad thing, Nic.”

“Oh, really? You call me a liar, and a shitty one at that, and then you try and pass it off as a compliment? Pull over.”

“Nic, please.”

“PULL OVER.”

Renny found the closest clear spot and the second the car stopped moving Nic jumped out and started walking. There was no point and she knew it. They were still miles away from anything in either direction, but she couldn’t sit there next to him like a caged animal for another second. Renny chased after her, yelling something she wasn’t listening to, and caught up with her after only a dozen steps.

“Stop,” he said, and he wrapped his hand around her arm. Nic jerked away from him and he threw his hands up in surrender but he didn’t stop. “Please, just listen to me.”

“I’m done listening. I’m done talking. I’m just done. This was a stupid idea.”

She turned and walked back to the car with every intention of turning back home but Renny was nothing if not persistent and he wasn’t about to let her go.

“Nic, there are people who lie because they enjoy it, and there are people who lie because they have no other choice. I think we both know what kind of liar you are.”

She spun on her heels and barreled into him with all the strength her body could muster.

“You don’t know shit,” she yelled. “You can ask all the stupid questions you want but you don’t know a god damn thing about me.”

“I know more than you think,” he said, keeping his voice calm and steady despite her verbal and physical onslaught.

He had his hands wrapped tightly around her wrists and as much as she tried to free herself, there was no way out and nothing to do but listen.

“I know what my mom went through when my dad left. I was young, still, but I knew even then.”

“Don’t.”

“I know that look in your eyes when you think no one is watching you. I’ve seen it before.”

“Please don’t.”

“I know why you lie, that you have to lie, because the truth hurts too much.”

“Just stop. I’m begging you. Stop.”

“I trust you,” he said. “You have to trust me. Do you trust me?”

Nic had managed to stem the tide of tears until then but it had been pointless from the start and she had to let go – of her tears, of her fears, of everything.

“Yes,” she whispered. “And I fucking hate it.”

“Of course you do.”

After a beat he started to laugh and she followed suit and in some senses she felt like a weight had been lifted. There was another that took its place, of course, but it was easy enough to ignore with his strong arms wrapped around her and his chin resting atop her head. He pulled out of the hug and kissed her – a chaste peck, nothing more – and then he smiled at her with a face like sunshine. She felt the warmth of it, its powers of rejuvenation and healing.

“Now,” he said, “I believe there’s a lake somewhere nearby and a rock that needs jumping off.”

They weren’t far and drove the rest of the way in companionable silence. They had done more than enough talking and it was well past time they just sat back and enjoyed the day. It was what Nic had hoped for from the start, but there was a price to pay for intimacy and she had finally paid her dues. Renny was a good boy, though. He knew he had pushed her too hard and too far and he was going to try to make it up to her. The knowledge that their time together was running out was not lost on him, and though she knew he didn’t regret his inquisition, she had a feeling he would make the rest of the day special – not just for her, but for himself.

Nic knew that there was no place for Renny to change into his swim trunks once they got there but she kept silent on the matter because it would amuse her and she felt a bit of payback was in order. She almost cracked when he caught her with a shit-eating grin on her face, suppressing a laugh about 5 miles out from their destination, but she covered for it.

“What’s so funny over there?”

“Nothing,” she said, and he knew she was lying for fun this time but he let it go.

When they pulled into the parking area she saw it dawn on him and she burst out laughing. Renny just shook his head at her, though a half smile played at the corner of his mouth.

“Bitch,” he said, but Nic just cackled and told him to strip.

“I’ll be the lookout. Wouldn’t want you to end up on the sex offender registry.”

Nic stood at the driver’s side door, and while she should have been looking away from the car she couldn’t help but tease him. She watched him fumble to get his jeans and boxers down in the cramped space and frantically search for the bathing suit that should have been in the seat next to him but was currently in Nic’s hands behind her back. It didn’t take him long to realize what she’d done and when he did he snatched his boxers up into his lap with a look on his face like he knew he’d been punked. He smiled, though, because he had to give it to her that it was a good one. He rapped on the window with his knuckle and then flipped her the bird with his long middle finger pressed to the glass before cracking the window just enough to poke his head out and beg for the trunks she was waving in his face.

“Please,” he whined. “I’m gonna get arrested.”

“I don’t know if you’ve earned these,” she replied. “Technically they don’t even belong to you.”

“Come on, Nic. Someone’s pulling up.”

Nic swung her head around and saw a minivan creeping up the drive looking for a parking spot, which were in short supply. No doubt there were kids inside, and though she could have kept her little game going for a while longer, she thought it unwise to continue.

“Alright,” she said, passing the trunks through the window crack. “No need to traumatize a young child.”

Nic put herself in between the incoming van and the driver’s side of her car where Renny was scrambling to get the suit on without flashing anyone. She was able to waylay the van just long enough by standing in the parking spot next to the car and acting completely oblivious even when honked at. By the time Renny was through and she finally moved the guy driving the van was furious.

“Hey, Blondie,” the man shouted. “Are you blind, deaf, and stupid?”

“Sometimes,” she replied, and she grabbed Renny’s hand and headed towards the trail down to the lake.

He looked at her like she was a complete lunatic and she laughed.

“Real cute,” he said.

“I know,” she replied.

Nic’s smug sense of satisfaction wore off quickly as they approached the lake, and by the time they got to the end of the trail she was in full panic mode. Her hands were trembling as she removed her cover up and shoes, and though she’d hoped it had gone unnoticed, there wasn’t much Renny missed. He could have teased her or mocked her but he didn’t. Instead he took her hands in his to steady them and smiled.

“Let’s go,” he said, and they waded out into the water hand in hand.

When they got about twenty feet from shore Nic almost turned around, and she probably would have if he hadn’t been next to her. His wet, tan skin was glistening in the sunlight and the way the muscles in his back flexed as he swam took her mind off the jump just long enough to get her past the point of no return. She stopped and looked up at the boulder formation for a moment. There was a group of college-aged kids fucking around on the rocks as well as a family. She watched a few of the guys jump, no doubt trying to impress the girls they were with, and it seemed to be working because they were all squeals and giggles as each took his turn. Watching others didn’t alleviate any of Nic’s fears, though – not even when a boy who couldn’t have been more than ten took his turn. When the kid hit the water and popped back up to the surface he shouted out with that kind of glee reserved only for children and Nic looked at Renny. She thought he would say something – like even a kid can do this – but he just placed his hand on the small of her back and gave her a little nudge. Somehow he knew that she had to do this on her own, without any prodding from him, and she was thankful for that even though a few words of encouragement, however snarky, wouldn’t have hurt. It was time, though, and they both knew it, and as Nic swam out to the rocks, her heart still pounding in her chest and her fear flooding her entire body to the point where she had to force her limbs to keep going.

This is stupid, she thought. Childish. It’s nothing.

But even as she scrambled up onto the lower boulders and gingerly made her way up the fear wouldn’t leave her. She reached the lowest jumping off point, about 5 feet down to the water, fully intending not to go any higher, but when she looked out and saw Renny treading water she was suddenly filled with the urge to climb higher. He was looking at her and smiling and he gave her two thumbs up and she almost didn’t recognize it at first, but even from a distance she could see it – that supportive, enthusiastic look, pushing her to overcome whatever fear she had. He wanted her to succeed in this endeavor, however trivial it may have seemed to him. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had looked at her like that.

All her reservations suddenly vanished and she began to climb higher and higher until she reached the uppermost jumping off point. It was a dangerous one, and she knew there was a very specific way to do it, but she didn’t care anymore. She felt safe with Renny there, capable of doing this like so many other things she hadn’t been able to do before she’d dragged him into her life. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for one brief moment and then she looked out at him and let go. A bit of a running start and she was in freefall. Nic was smiling when she hit the water and, submerged, she felt peace.

She could have stayed under forever – just floating, serene – but however invincible she may have felt, the need for oxygen pushed her toward the surface. When she emerged she gulped down air and treaded water a minute to get her bearings, and when she looked over to where Renny should have been she found nothing. She turned slightly and saw him swimming toward something at Olympic speed. That’s when she realized that her bikini top was floating a few feet away. She couldn’t have beaten him to it if she tried, and when he snatched it up he looked at her, his face wild and wicked. She should have cared but she didn’t; she just swam over to Renny, trying to keep her chest below water until she reached him. The closer she got, the more devilish his face looked, and when she was within earshot he burst out laughing.

“Something funny?” she asked, out of breath from the swim.

“Now who’s flashing children?”

“Are you referring to yourself or that family over there?”

She reached him after what seemed like ages and wrapped her arms and legs around him to cover herself. Her bare breasts pressed against his chest, nipples painfully hard from the water’s temperature, and she could feel him stirring in his swim trunks. She let go of him just long enough to grab for the top but he held it out of her reach.

“Come on,” she said. “Give it to me.”

He licked his lips and pulled her tighter. “No.”

“Is this payback for earlier?”

“Nope,” he said. “I just like your tits.”

“Just fucking give it to me.”

“Oh, I’ll give it to you,” he said, and he palmed her ass and jerked his hips in a brief but lewd pantomime. 

He had that look on his face he always wore when he wanted her so bad he could taste it and, if they were alone, she would have fucked him stupid right there in the lake in broad daylight. But they were most certainly not alone, and between the hooting and hollering from the frat boys and the disapproving stares from the parents, Nic was just about done with the game.

“You’ll get it,” she said, cupping his face and tracing his bottom lip with her thumb. “But you need to give me my top back.”

He dangled it in front of her and pulled it away once before he finally let her grab it, and she could hear the booing from the guys as she tried to get it back on without exposing herself any more than she already had. Renny was laughing at first but things escalated quickly and they started shouting things in her direction that were not for children’s ears. Nic could see the parents growing more and more horrified with each rude comment but the quicker she tried to get her top on the more she fumbled with it. It had gone on too long and Renny was tense as a bowstring, shielding her with his body and glowering at the guys over his shoulder with his jaw clenched tight. 

“I think maybe it’s time to go,” she said when she finally got her top on right.

“I think you’re right,” he said, still staring down the college boys. “I’m finding it harder and harder not to swim over there and shut them the fuck up.”

“Don’t,” she said, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about what he would look like manhandling those idiots. But if Renny was going to toss someone around like a rag doll, she wanted it to be her. “Let’s just go. I got what I came for.”

He broke from his staring contest with the frat crew and when he looked at her his face softened. He pulled her in and kissed her forehead. “Good.”

Renny wanted to race to shore and Nic obliged him even though she was already exhausted and knew she didn’t stand a chance of winning. She couldn’t say no to him, though – not when he made the face – and she didn’t particularly want to. She lost, of course, partly because she wasn’t trying and partly because Renny was taking out his aggression on the lake itself, but by the time she got there he had a towel ready and waiting for her, which was good because she was feeling especially exposed. They had a wordless exchange as he wrapped the towel around her: he asked if she was alright, she assured him she was fine. She could tell he felt bad for the turn his little game of keep-away had taken but it wasn’t his fault and she told him so with a gentle brush of hair from his face – that one little wisp that never wanted to behave. Even damp, it popped right back across his forehead and she laughed without sound.

She had planned on sunning herself on the rocks for a while, to get some color while her bathing suit dried for the ride home, but given the circumstances it was no longer an option and even though it felt like it was a hundred degrees out, her suit was still damp by the time they reached the car. Renny had the same problem, but he still had his jeans to change back into and Nic hadn’t bothered to bring a change of clothes. All she had was the skimpy cover up she’d worn over her suit – white linen and practically see-through, and barely long enough to reach her upper thighs. She didn’t have anything to put on under it, but wet bathing suits on the leather seats of her car were not an option so she resigned herself to a half-naked trip back to the city while Renny wandered off down the trail and into the trees to find a spot for a quick change. When he got back Nic had the car running and the convertible top back up with the air conditioning blasting. Her hair was still wet and the cold air gave her goose bumps but it was simply too hot to drive with the top down and she was practically naked besides. When Renny got in the driver’s seat and looked over at her, he wetted his lips and chuckled.

“That thing doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

Nic scowled at him, firm but playful. “Just drive.”

She turned the radio on and found a volume just loud enough to make it clear that the time for conversation was through. For a while they drove in silence, enjoying the classic rock songs they both knew by heart despite their age difference. Nic found herself staring blankly out the window, watching the scenery fly by as Renny drove at his usual death-defying speed. She was replaying the jump in her mind, trying to recapture that feeling of weightlessness when she’d given herself over to gravity and the pull of the water below, but she couldn’t quite get there. It was, she decided, something to be experienced only once, unable to be reconstructed or relived, and she let the moment go. It would exist in her memory, and that was enough for her.

She could feel Renny’s eyes on her before she turned to look at him, and when she did she saw that wicked grin on his face – the one that never failed to turn her body electric. She felt it everywhere and she smiled.

“Eyes on the road, baby boy.”

“You’re making it hard to concentrate.”

“Try.”

He chuckled and she turned to rest her head on the window. She’d only just closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her leg, sliding slowly upward as his fingers curled around to reach the soft flesh of her inner thigh. She said “no” but she didn’t mean it, and he didn’t stop because he knew it. With gentle pressure he pulled her leg toward him and she let him do it, her cover up rising with the motion and no longer covering anything. She was exposed now, her pussy bare and swelling as his fingers crept closer to their destination, and the cold air blasting from the vents made her acutely aware of the heat growing between her legs. When his forefinger found her lips she arched her back and jerked her hips forward. She needed no prodding to spread her legs wider, and when she had him inside her to the first knobby knuckle she bit her lip and brought her hands up to tease her nipples through the thin layer of linen that covered them. Between his touch and the frigid air they were hard as steel, and though she knew he could see it she pulled the V-neck wide anyway, exposing her left breast and touching herself the way she liked to be touched – squeezing her ample flesh and pinching and twisting her nipple to that perfect point between pleasure and pain. When he took his finger away she moved to grab his hand but he knew what he was doing and her right hand fell limp at her side as he started to slide two fingers across her entrance, the length of them and the addition of his thumb ensuring that no part of her was neglected. She must have looked positively rude and she knew it, but she didn’t give a shit because his fingers were made of magic and when he entered her again, two instead of one this time, he went straight for her g-spot. Her eyes traveled down the veins bulging under the tanned skin of his arm and watched the tendons flex in his wrist as he worked his fingers inside of her and she felt her orgasm coming. It was still far off, but it was inevitable, and her breathing sped up as she lay back and let him take her there.

“Shit.”

Suddenly his hand was gone and she whined as she watched him working the stick shift instead of her pussy.

“Don’t do this to me,” she said, her voice dripping with an almost pathetic need for him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t really think this through.”

Nic slammed her head back into the headrest a few times, cursing him for being a tease, and he laughed even though he was genuinely apologetic.

“I can pull over.”

“No.”

She wanted to get home as quickly as possible, to have him in as many ways and as many times as she could, and a pit stop for a quick finger-fuck, while it would provide a more immediate gratification, would only delay what she really wanted from him. She vaguely registered a song coming on the radio, and when her mind could focus again she recognized it as one of her favorites. The unmistakable opening riff of “Lay Lady Lay” boomed out of the speakers and the solution to her problem presented itself.

“Sing to me,” she said, and she turned the volume down just enough to hear his voice.

“What? Why?” He glanced over at her and saw her suck two of her own fingers into her mouth before bringing them down to her pussy to finish what he’d started. “Oh.”

He started in on the first verse, doing his best Bob Dylan, and while the impression was a good one it wasn’t what Nic wanted.

“No,” she said, staring at the crinkles in his forehead as he turned to her in confusion. “Do it in your voice.”

Renny smiled and shifted gears and soon the car was flooded with the sound of him crooning along with Bob, in his own style now, which was clear and distinctive and beautiful and never failed to give Nic goose bumps. She knew it was him and not the air making her shiver this time, and she watched his lips purse and stretch with each word as she rubbed her clit in hard, slow circles. It was a short song but there was no doubt in her mind she could bring herself off before it was over, and as she sped up her movements she brought her right foot up onto the dash and her free hand to his head. His voice faltered a little when she started fisting his hair but he recovered and kept going, his eyes darting from the road and back to her over and over again until her toes were curling and her muscles screaming for release. It was dangerous and reckless and more than a bit stupid but when she came arching her back he couldn’t look away from her. He was driving fast and blind, focused only on watching her come undone as he sang to her, and Nic swallowed the moans that threatened to escape her throat. She wanted to hear him, needed to hear him, and she let only a few ragged breaths pass her lips as she rode out her orgasm. It had hit her like a truck and when she was through her body relaxed into a puddle of skin and used-up muscle on the seat. He was done singing now, and she was thankful that the DJ let the song play through and fade out with no interruption, like a lullaby.

She had only intended on resting her eyes for a bit while she basked in the afterglow, but Nic woke to find the car parked at the house and Renny’s lips brushing her ear, whispering, “We’re home.” Nic stretched out catlike and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, checking the clock on the dashboard. Somehow Renny had managed to get them back to the city in less than two hours. She shook her head and smiled.

She was still a bit drowsy as she entered the house, and when she threw her keys on the table in the entryway like she’d done thousands of times before, she missed it by a mile.

“Jesus,” she said, and she bent to pick them up. It was only when she heard a guttural sound at her back that she remembered she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

She felt one hand on her hip and one on her shoulder, pulling her upright. Renny pulled her ass into him, making damn sure she could feel his cock swelling through his jeans, and spoke low and rusty in her ear.

“Bedroom. Now.”

That woke Nic up, and in seconds they were scrambling up the stairs like children, Renny behind her smacking her bare ass to move her along. He couldn’t get her into her room quick enough and before she even had the chance to undress him he was down to his boxers and walking her backwards toward the wall. When she was close he grabbed her arms and pushed her back up against it, hard enough to shake a nearby picture frame, and held her there, fingering the fabric of her cover up for a minute.

“Was this thing expensive?” he asked, staring right through it at her breasts beneath.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He grabbed the neck and ripped it straight down the middle then rid her of it completely. Nic let out something between a gasp and a grunt as he pinned her against the wall with his whole body, holding her wrists up over her head with one hand while the other reached around to palm her ass.

“You wanna fuck me through this wall, baby boy?”

He squeezed her ass hard and bit her bottom lip, nodding without letting go. Her cunt was throbbing and he held her there – waiting, knowing she’d be dripping for him soon without him having to do a thing but look at her with hungry eyes. He wasn’t wrong, and by the time Nic couldn’t stand another second he released her wrists and pulled his boxers down over the curve of his ass, just enough to free his cock. Nic moved to grab it but he caught her wrist and threw it back up on the wall, shaking his head as he rubbed his tip across her slick lips.

“You ready?” he asked, but he knew she was.

“God, yes.”

He pushed his boxers down the rest of the way and kicked them aside, tossed her arms up on his shoulders and she did the rest, holding him tight around his neck and jumping into his waiting arms. He lifted her with ease, positioning himself at her entrance before breaching her with one punishing thrust. He slammed her back against the wall and it would have hurt if she could have focused on anything that wasn’t the feel of his cock working her pussy like a jackhammer. He had his arms hooked under her thighs in a grip so tight she didn’t even need to hold on to him but she did anyway because she needed to claw at his skin and his hair and any part of him her hands could reach. His pace was relentless and the sweat beading on his forehead started to drip down between their bodies, already a slick sweaty mess though they had just begun.

For a while Nic said nothing; she could only grunt and moan because there were really no words for what he was doing to her. She couldn’t tell him faster or harder because it wouldn’t have been physically possible. But when she felt his pace falter ever so slightly she found her words again and she dug her nails into his back and cried out, “Destroy me.”

A few rough thrusts and he stopped, his cock buried inside her. He wasn’t moving, and he had that look on his face he always got when he wanted something he didn’t want to admit to. Nic knew earlier that day that, while he would thoroughly enjoy fucking her against the wall, it wasn’t what he really wanted. He needed something else from her and it was time to find out what it was.

“You want something,” she said. “Tell me.”

He leaned in and whispered against her lips. “Let me show you.”

He let her legs fall gently to the ground and took her hands in his, turning her around and walking her backwards to the bed. He looked timid, almost scared, but she was willing to do what he asked of her, whatever it might be. When she felt the bed at her back he dropped her hands and cupped her face, kissing her that way he liked to be kissed and she let him because she knew it was part of whatever it was he needed. She should have known when he laid her down on the bed like she was some fragile thing and easily broken. She started to know when he began to kiss her everywhere, working his way down her body and worshipping her inch by inch. But she didn’t know for sure until he was inside her again, stroking so slow and deep with his forehead pressed to hers. It was everywhere – in the way he moaned softly with each downstroke, in the way his thumb ghosted her face and her lips, in the way he only broke from her to pull her head back and kiss up her neck to her chin. But more than anything, it was his eyes that spoke volumes. With a few brief moments’ exception, he had them locked on hers, and behind the kaleidoscope of colors she found there she could see desperate need and aching desire and the answer to the question she’d asked him. He didn’t want to fuck her; he wanted to love her.

And she let him.

She wrapped her legs around him and met him thrust for thrust, and where she normally would have sped things up and fucked herself on him until she screamed, she let him set a pace so slow and tender it nearly broke her. They were a mess of tangled limbs and lips and intertwined fingers, and there were points when Nic lost all sense of where her body ended and his began. Nothing mattered. The days of dominance and submission and obedience and punishment were gone. There was only patience now, for the both of them. They were a slow-burning candle and neither of them was ready to go out.

Nic turned her head to the side, granting him access to that spot on her neck that set her on fire and she could see their bodies reflected in the vanity mirror. She didn’t recognize the woman staring back at her with her mouth open and lips quivering, her hungry hands caressing the back of the man on top of her. And from her vantage point below him, he was a man, because only a man could make her feel the way she felt just then. She thought maybe only this man could, and she closed her eyes and stopped watching from outside herself, finding his lips again and letting him take her places she had never dreamed she could go.

When he started to roll his hips she felt it start. All she could do was hold on tight to him and moan his name over and over, and each time she did he would respond with hers. Every time he said it, it shot through her like lightning, and even though she knew she was on the verge of coming she staved it off. She wanted this, just this, but he was too good and too lovely and he was hitting all the right spots. He whispered, “Come for me,” and she said no but he begged her.

“Together. Please,” he pleaded, his movements growing more erratic, and she couldn’t deny him what he wanted even though she knew it would leave her shattered in ways she wasn’t ready for.

Nic let go of everything and let her body have its way, and he brought her over the edge gently but firmly with secret confessions whispered so softly she could later claim her ears had deceived her. As for Nic, all she could say was his name, her voice growing louder and more urgent the closer she came to completion. When she started to pulse around him he groaned and she knew he was coming too, and then they were there – together, like he wanted – her shuddering beneath him, him spilling all of himself into her with an expression so pained she would have been worried if she didn’t know that pain was his form of bliss.

He collapsed on top of her, his hands finding her hair and his lips dotting her face with kisses, and she gripped him tight to her, not that he had any desire to pull out just yet but she wasn’t ready to let him. They stayed like that for a while until his weight was too much to bear, but she wouldn’t let him go farther than the spot next to her on the bed. She threw a leg up over his and a hand across his chest, and just watched him breathe.

She had already said it with her body, every inch, and her lips would never speak it, but there it was in her mind – those three horrible words. In her head she said, “I love you,” and though he was warm next to her she went cold through and through. Before she knew what she was doing, Nic was up and grabbing a robe and digging through her purse. She didn’t really love him – she couldn’t – but even if it could have been, love had brought her nothing but different kinds of pain, and it was time for him to go anyhow. She pulled out a stack of bills – could have been $500, $800, $1,000 – it didn’t matter and she didn’t care. She turned to look at him, still blissful on the bed and she felt the last piece of herself die as she threw the money at him. It fluttered down like snow, and through the flurry she saw the light in his eyes go out.

“That was good,” she said. “Very believable. You can go now.”

Renny looked at the money spread across the bed and then up at Nic. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what? You knew what this was, and now it’s over. Take your money. You earned it.”

Nic had her arms crossed and a face like steel, though behind the hard surface the inside was corroded and riddled with cracks. With enough pressure, the façade would shatter. She needed to make this quick.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?” she snapped. “Get your clothes on and get out.”

He let his gaze drop to the floor and shook his head before running a hand through his hair and getting up to gather his things. He didn’t say anything, and Nic didn’t either, but deep down she wished he would yell and scream at her, get in her face, do something, anything. When he was half dressed he broke the silence.

“I do know what this was,” he said, buckling his belt. “And so do you.”

“It was an arrangement. A short one. And now it’s over.”

“Nic,” he said, his voice cracking a little, and when she heard it she felt her resolve slipping and knew she couldn’t take much more. “I know what you’re doing, and you don’t have to do it. I’ll go. I was always going to go.”

That stung her, though he hadn’t meant it that way, and she came within a hair’s breadth of breaking. She didn’t, though, because she had to send him off thinking she was horrible and evil, a mistake – one he wouldn’t make again. If she couldn’t love him, she could at least be a lesson learned.

“How did you think this was going to end?” she asked, her voice dripping condescension.

“Honestly? This is exactly how I thought it would end, but I hoped that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t bullshit me. But I’m just a kid, right? What the fuck do I know?”

He knew everything. He knew her – her best and her worst – but she kept going because if she didn’t she might not let him leave. Nic rolled her eyes before she delivered the killing blow.

“You bore me,” she said, “and I’m tired of playing with you. Just go back to your life and I’ll go back to mine.”

He sighed and she knew she’d done it. He was resigned to this ending now and almost out the door, but he lingered in the doorframe with his back to her for a moment before turning around and speaking his parting words.

“Will you?” he asked, and then he was gone.

She didn’t cry. She didn’t run to the window and watch him walk down the driveway and out of her life. She just stood there with his question echoing in her head and didn’t move until he was long gone. Ultimately Nic decided that the question was his final kindness to her. She knew what she had to do and she did it almost automatically. She wrote a note for Marisol detailing what needed to be cleaned, washed, and pressed before Jeremy’s return the next afternoon. She dug out a tattered duffle bag and packed it with the bare necessities. She mentally catalogued the house, trying to think about what she couldn’t leave behind, and it occurred to her that she had millions and millions of dollars in things, and not one of them mattered to her enough to take with her. The only thing she took of any value, besides her work computer, was a Tiffany-framed photograph of her grandmother, and even then she only took the frame to keep the photo intact. Everything else was superfluous at best and ostentatious at worst – reminders of a life spent spending and not living, a life that was over for her now. The last thing she did before leaving was take her wedding ring from her jewelry box and place it on Jeremy’s desk. She didn’t leave a note. There was nothing left to say.

Nic would give up the Aston Martin in good time but not until it got her somewhere far away. She could still smell Renny in the car as she pulled out of the drive, still see his hands on the wheel and the stick where hers were now, but she couldn’t cry. She felt like she should be crying, that a normal person would be crying, but she wasn’t and she wouldn’t, at least not for a while. She had no destination in mind except east and no timeframe for returning. She wasn’t thinking of lawyers or court dates or proceedings. The only thing she was thinking was that question – “Will you?” – and the answer she’d never get the chance to give to him.

No, never, and thank you.


End file.
